Learn Hardcore Spanish (Spain): No es que mi madre grite mucho, es que a veces nosotros no nos callamos y ella no nos oye. - It’s not that my mother shouts a lot, it’s that sometimes we don’t keep quiet and she doesn’t hear us.

No es que mi madre grite mucho literally: It’s not that my mother shouts a lot.
The speaker is denying that idea; they’re treating “my mother shouts a lot” not as a straightforward fact, but as a rejected explanation.
In Spanish, when you deny or distance yourself from a statement like this, you often use the subjunctive rather than the indicative.

Compare:

Es que mi madre grita mucho. – It’s that my mother really does shout a lot (stating the fact → indicative).
No es que mi madre grite mucho. – It’s not that my mother shouts a lot (denying that explanation → subjunctive).

So no es que… is a fixed trigger for the subjunctive here. Using grita would sound wrong to most native speakers.

What is the function of the structure No es que…, es que…?

This pattern is very common in spoken Spanish and usually means:

It’s not that X, it’s (just) that Y.

It has two parts:

No es que…
- Rejects or softens a possible explanation or accusation.
- Example: No es que no me guste tu idea… – It’s not that I don’t like your idea…
es que…
- Introduces the real explanation, often in a gentle or apologetic way.
- Example: …es que ya tengo otros planes. – …it’s just that I already have other plans.

In the full sentence:

No es que mi madre grite mucho – It’s not really true that my mum shouts a lot.
es que a veces nosotros no nos callamos y ella no nos oye – The real issue is that sometimes we don’t keep quiet and she can’t hear us.

It’s both explanatory and face‑saving: it defends the mother while explaining what actually happens.

Could you say No es que mi madre grite mucho, sino que a veces nosotros no nos callamos… instead?

Yes, that’s also correct and natural:

No es que mi madre grite mucho, sino que a veces nosotros no nos callamos…

Differences in nuance:

sino que
- Expresses a clear contrast: not A, but B instead.
- Feels a bit more logical/argumentative.
es que
- Feels more explanatory/justifying, like it’s just that…
- Slightly softer in tone.

Both work here; es que sounds especially natural in everyday spoken Spanish.

Why is the first part subjunctive (grite) but the second part indicative (no nos callamos and no nos oye)?

Because different triggers are at work:

No es que mi madre grite mucho
- no es que + clause → typically followed by the subjunctive.
- It expresses a denied / rejected explanation.
es que a veces nosotros no nos callamos y ella no nos oye
- es que + clause → normally followed by the indicative.
- Here the speaker is giving a real, factual explanation:
  - sometimes we don’t keep quiet → no nos callamos (indicative).
  - and she doesn’t hear us → no nos oye (indicative).

So: denied/hypothetical explanation → subjunctive, real explanation → indicative.

Can the subject pronouns nosotros and ella be omitted here?

Yes. A more typical, less emphatic version would be:

No es que mi madre grite mucho, es que a veces no nos callamos y no nos oye.

In Spanish, subject pronouns are usually dropped because the verb endings already show who the subject is.

Including nosotros and ella adds:

Emphasis and contrast:
- a veces nosotros no nos callamos y ella no nos oye
- This subtly highlights: the problem is us, not her.

So they’re optional, but they help underline who is responsible in the speaker’s view.

What exactly does callarse mean, and how is it different from callar?

callarse is a pronominal (reflexive) verb and is the normal way to say:

callarse → to be quiet / to keep quiet / to shut up

callar, without the reflexive pronoun, usually means:

callar (algo / a alguien) → to silence (something/someone)

Examples:

Cállate. – Be quiet / shut up. (callarse, reflexive)
No nos callamos. – We don’t keep quiet.
El profesor calló a los alumnos. – The teacher silenced the students. (callar + object)

In this sentence, no nos callamos = we don’t keep quiet (we keep talking/making noise).

Is no nos callamos as rude in Spanish as “we don’t shut up” can sound in English?

Not really. The rudeness in Spanish mainly appears in the imperative form, especially in tone:

¡Cállate! – can be rude, like “Shut up!”

But in the descriptive form:

no nos callamos – we don’t keep quiet / we don’t stop talking

it’s generally not rude; it’s a neutral description of behavior.

So here it’s more like:

Sometimes we don’t keep quiet
rather than
Sometimes we don’t shut up (in a harsh way).

English “shut up” is often stronger than callarse in this kind of descriptive sentence.

Why do we need the pronoun nos in no nos callamos? Could you just say no callamos?

You need nos because callarse is used as a pronominal verb in this meaning:

callarse = to be quiet / to keep quiet
- It always comes with a reflexive pronoun: me, te, se, nos, os, se.

So:

(nosotros) nos callamos – we keep quiet / we are quiet
(nosotros) no nos callamos – we don’t keep quiet

If you say no callamos without nos, it sounds like you are missing a direct object:

no callamos ≈ we don’t silence (…) → we don’t silence what?

That’s a different verb pattern; here the intended meaning is clearly the pronominal callarse, so nos is necessary.

What does ella no nos oye literally mean, and what is the role of nos here?

Literally:

ella no nos oye = she doesn’t hear us.

Breakdown:

ella – she (subject)
no – negation (not / doesn’t)
nos – object pronoun = us
oye – hears (from oír)

Here nos is a direct object pronoun, replacing a nosotros:

Ella no oye a nosotros → incorrect / unnatural
Ella no nos oye → correct and natural

So nos tells you who she doesn’t hear: us.

Could you say ella no nos escucha instead of ella no nos oye? Is there a difference?

You could say ella no nos escucha, and it’s grammatically fine, but there is a nuance:

oír – to hear (more passive, physical perception of sound)
escuchar – to listen (to) (more active, paying attention)

In this context, talking about noise and not keeping quiet, no nos oye:

Suggests she literally can’t hear us properly because of the noise, distance, etc.

If you say no nos escucha, it can also mean:

She doesn’t listen to us / pay attention to us, which is a bit more psychological than physical hearing.

So both are possible, but no nos oye fits very well with the idea of everyone talking over each other.

Why is there a comma before es que in the sentence?

The comma separates two independent clauses:

No es que mi madre grite mucho,
es que a veces nosotros no nos callamos y ella no nos oye.

Each part could stand as a sentence:

No es que mi madre grite mucho.
Es que a veces nosotros no nos callamos y ella no nos oye.

In Spanish, when you link two full clauses like this—especially when the second explains or corrects the first—it’s normal to use a comma before es que.

So the comma is there for the same reason you’d write in English:

It’s not that my mum shouts a lot, it’s just that sometimes we don’t keep quiet…

Why is mucho placed after grite (as in grite mucho) and not before?

In Spanish, adverbs like mucho usually go after the verb they modify:

gritar mucho – to shout a lot
trabajar mucho – to work a lot
llorar mucho – to cry a lot

So:

mi madre grita mucho
mi madre grite mucho (inside no es que…)

Putting mucho before the verb (mi madre mucho grita) is possible only in some very specific, often emphatic or literary contexts, and no es que mi madre mucho grite sounds unnatural.

So the normal order is verb + mucho → grite mucho.

Is there any difference in tone between mi madre and mi mamá here, especially in Spain?

Yes, there’s a nuance:

mi madre
- More neutral or formal.
- Very common in Spain in general conversation, even when speaking affectionately about your mother.
mi mamá
- More child‑like or intimate, often used when talking directly to your mother (mamá, ven), or in very familiar, emotional contexts.

In Spain, saying:

No es que mi madre grite mucho…
sounds completely normal and neutral.

No es que mi mamá grite mucho… would sound more like how a child might talk, or like a very informal/family context.