Breakdown of En mi familia intentamos no gritar y preferimos callarnos un momento cuando estamos enfadados.
Questions & Answers about En mi familia intentamos no gritar y preferimos callarnos un momento cuando estamos enfadados.
In Spanish it’s very common to use mi familia even when you mean my family and I (the whole group).
- En mi familia = In my family (as a unit, the group I belong to)
- En nuestra familia = In our family (also correct, but feels more formal or emphatic)
In everyday speech in Spain, mi familia is the default way to talk about your family group’s habits, and it doesn’t sound selfish or individualistic. Both are grammatically correct; mi is just more natural here.
The verb intentar is followed directly by an infinitive with no preposition:
- intentar + infinitive
- intentamos no gritar – we try not to shout
- intenté llamarte – I tried to call you
Using de (intentamos de…) is incorrect with intentar.
Some other verbs do use a preposition:
- tratar de + infinitive: tratamos de no gritar – we try not to shout
So:
- intentar hacer algo ✅
- tratar de hacer algo ✅
- intentar de hacer algo ❌
Yes, there’s a nuance:
- gritar = to shout/yell, usually louder and more emotional, often in anger, calling someone, or expressing pain.
- hablar alto = to speak loudly, but not necessarily angrily or rudely (could simply be volume).
In the context of being angry (cuando estamos enfadados), gritar is the natural verb because it implies emotionally raised voice, not just speaking louder for practical reasons.
Both are grammatically possible, but not equally natural here.
- callar = to silence (something/someone), or to be quiet in a more impersonal/literary way.
- callarse (reflexive) = to fall silent / to shut up / to stop talking oneself.
In everyday Spanish, when you mean we keep quiet / we stop talking ourselves, you use the reflexive form:
- preferimos callarnos – we prefer to be quiet / to shut up (ourselves)
Preferimos callar sounds more formal or literary and is less typical in normal family-conversation contexts.
The -nos is the reflexive pronoun for nosotros (we/us).
- callarse = to become silent oneself
- callarnos = callar + nos → to make ourselves silent / to stop talking ourselves
In Spanish, object and reflexive pronouns can be attached to the end of an infinitive:
- preferimos callarnos ✅
- nos preferimos callar (grammatically possible but sounds odd and unnatural here)
- More natural alternative with a conjugated verb: nos preferimos callar still sounds strange in style; people simply say preferimos callarnos.
Attaching -nos to the infinitive after preferimos is the standard and most natural pattern in this sentence.
Both exist, but they’re not identical:
- callarnos un momento
- Very common, neutral: keep quiet for a bit / for a moment
- Focus on doing the action briefly.
- callarnos por un momento
- Adds a bit more emphasis on the duration / time frame.
- Feels a little more formal or explanatory.
In conversation, especially in Spain, you often just say un momento without por to mean for a moment / for a bit.
Estamos is used because this describes a general, habitual situation:
- Cuando estamos enfadados, preferimos callarnos.
= When we are angry (whenever that happens in general), we prefer to be quiet.
In Spanish:
- Present indicative (estamos) is used for real, repeated, habitual facts.
- Present subjunctive (estemos) is used when the event is future/uncertain from the speaker’s point of view or is part of a condition:
- Cuando estemos enfadados mañana, hablaremos.
When we get angry tomorrow, we’ll talk.
- Cuando estemos enfadados mañana, hablaremos.
Here, it’s a general rule about the family’s behaviour, so estamos (indicative) is correct.
Enfadados agrees with the subject nosotros (we).
- If the speaker includes at least one man → nosotros estamos enfadados
- If the group is all female → nosotras estamos enfadadas
So the sentence could also be:
- En mi familia intentamos no gritar y preferimos callarnos un momento cuando estamos enfadadas.
if the speaker is talking about an all-female group and uses nosotras.
Masculine plural (enfadados) is the default when the group is mixed or gender is not specified.
Yes, they focus on different things:
- estar enfadados = to be angry (the state)
- cuando estamos enfadados – when we are angry
- enfadarnos = to get angry / to become angry (the process)
- cuando nos enfadamos – when we get angry
In this sentence:
- cuando estamos enfadados highlights the situation while we are in that angry state.
- cuando nos enfadamos would emphasize the moment we get angry.
Both can work, but estamos enfadados matches well with the idea of staying quiet during the anger.
They are similar but not identical:
- preferir + infinitive = to prefer to do something; indicates a choice or decision:
- preferimos callarnos – we prefer to keep quiet (we choose this option)
- gustar más + infinitive = we like more to…; focuses more on personal liking:
- nos gusta más callarnos – we like better to keep quiet
You could say nos gusta más callarnos, but in the context of family rules or habits, preferimos is more natural because it sounds like a conscious strategy/decision, not just taste.
All are related to being angry, but usage varies by region and nuance:
- enfadado
- Very common in Spain for angry / mad (anywhere from mildly annoyed to quite angry).
- enojado
- Very common in Latin America for angry.
- In Spain it’s understood, but sounds more Latin-American.
- molesto
- Literally bothered / annoyed, usually milder than enfadado.
- In some contexts it can be ambiguous (could also mean uncomfortable).
In Spain, in a neutral family context like this sentence, enfadados is the most natural choice.