Learn Hardcore Japanese: kenka no ato ni 「gomenne」 to ieru hito to nara, nagaku tukiatte ikeru to omoimasu. - If someone can say “sorry” after a fight, I think you can keep a long relationship with them.

けんかのあとに = “after a fight (at that time)”
あと by itself is just “afterward / the time after something”; あとに makes it a specific time marker for the verb 言える.

Often you’ll also see けんかのあとで instead; あとに and あとで are very close in meaning here, both “after (something)”.

Could we also say けんかしたあとに instead of けんかのあとに? Is there a difference?

Yes, けんかしたあとに is also natural:

けんかのあとに = “after a fight” (using the noun けんか)
けんかしたあとに = “after (we) fought” (using the verb けんかする in past form した)

The nuance is slightly different (noun phrase vs. full verb phrase), but in everyday conversation they’re almost interchangeable here. Both sound natural.

What is the role of と after ごめんね in 「ごめんね」と言える?

This と is the quoting particle.

The pattern is:

「X」と言う = “to say X”
「X」と思う = “to think (that) X”

So 「ごめんね」と言える人 literally = “a person who can say ごめんね.”
と marks what is being said.

Why is it 言える (potential form) and not 言う? What nuance does 言える add?

言える is the potential form of 言う: “can say / be able to say”.

「ごめんね」と言う人 = a person who says ごめんね
「ごめんね」と言える人 = a person who is able to say ごめんね

The idea is not just that they do say it, but that they have the ability / maturity / willingness to apologize. It focuses on the capacity to apologize, which sounds more like a personality trait.

What does 人となら mean here? Why 人となら and not 人なら or 人と?

Break it down:

人 = person
と = “with” (as in “together with someone”)
なら = conditional/topic marker “if (it’s) … / as for …”

So 人となら ≈ “if it’s with a person (like that)” or “as long as I’m with that kind of person”.

人なら would be more like “if it’s that kind of person (in general)”
人と alone would just be “with a person”, without the conditional nuance.

人となら、長く付き合っていける: “If it’s with a person like that, (I) can have a long relationship.”

What does 付き合う mean in this sentence? Is it only “to date (romantically)”?

付き合う has several related meanings, depending on context:

To go out with / date someone (romantic relationship)
To associate with / keep company with someone
To accompany someone, go along with them

In this kind of sentence, with 長く付き合っていける and “someone who can say ごめんね after a fight”, the typical reading is romantic:
“be in a relationship with (them) for a long time.”

But even outside romance, it can just mean “get along / maintain a relationship” with someone for a long time.

What is the nuance of 長く before 付き合っていける? Why not just 付き合っていける?

長く is an adverb meaning “for a long time / long”.

付き合っていける = “can keep going out / can keep the relationship going”
長く付き合っていける = “can keep the relationship going for a long time”

So 長く specifies duration. Without it, the sentence would still mean “it will work out / we can continue”, but it wouldn’t explicitly say “for a long time.”

What does ～ていける (as in 付き合っていける) mean, and how is it different from just 付き合える?

～ていける is the potential form of ～ていく.

付き合っていく literally = “to go on associating / to continue going out (from now on into the future)”
Adding potential: 付き合っていける = “to be able to keep going out / be able to continue the relationship (successfully)”

Compare:

長く付き合える – “can go out (date) for a long time” (focus on possibility)
長く付き合っていける – “can keep on going out for a long time / can make it work over time” (adds a nuance of continuing step by step into the future and that it will work out).

～ていく often carries the idea of a process continuing from now into the future.

There is another と in 長く付き合っていけると思います. What does this と do?

This と is again the quoting particle, but now it’s used with 思います (“I think”).

Pattern:

[sentence] と思う / 思います = “I think (that) [sentence].”

So:

長く付き合っていけると思います
= “I think (that) we can have a long relationship.”

The part before と is the content of the thought.

Why is 思います used instead of 思う? Does that change the meaning?

Grammatically, 思う (plain) and 思います (polite) have the same core meaning: “to think”.

The difference is:

思います is polite/formal, used in normal polite speech.
思う is plain/casual, used with friends, family, or in informal writing.

Also, in Japanese, ～と思います is a common way to soften your opinion, sounding less direct or bossy. So …と思います can feel like “I guess / I feel like …” rather than a strong, absolute statement.

There is no explicit subject like “I” or “we” in this sentence. How do we know who is thinking or who will be in the relationship?

Japanese often omits subjects when they’re clear from context.

The thinker of 思います is almost always the speaker (“I think…”), unless context says otherwise.
The people who 付き合っていける are the speaker (or “I/we”) together with 人 (“a person who can say ごめんね after a fight”).

So a natural English interpretation is:
“I think that (I/we) can have a long relationship with a person who can say ‘sorry’ after a fight,” even though “I/we” is not explicitly stated in Japanese.

What is the nuance of ごめんね? How is it different from ごめんなさい?

Both are ways to say “I’m sorry,” but their tone is different:

ごめんね
- Casual / friendly
- Used between close friends, couples, family, etc.
- Soft, sometimes a bit cute or gentle.
ごめんなさい
- More polite and formal
- Used when you need to be more serious or respectful, or with people you’re not close to.

In a sentence about a relationship and fights, ごめんね feels natural, because it suggests a close, informal relationship (like between partners or close friends).

What kind of “fight” does けんか usually refer to? Is it physical fighting?

けんか most often means:

a quarrel, argument, or dispute (verbal/emotional), especially in daily-life contexts.

It can refer to physical fighting (like a brawl), but in sentences about relationships—especially combined with ごめんね—it usually means an argument between people, not necessarily a physical fight.

Why is there a comma before 長く付き合っていける? Does it change anything?

The comma just marks a natural pause and separates the conditional part from the result:

けんかのあとに「ごめんね」と言える人となら、
“If (it’s) a person who can say ごめんね after a fight,”
長く付き合っていけると思います。
“I think (we) can have a long relationship.”

It doesn’t change the grammar; it just makes the sentence easier to read and reflects how it would be spoken with a pause there.