Learn Hardcore Indonesian: Teman saya dulu sangat egois, tetapi sekarang dia lebih suka berbagi waktu dan perhatian. - My friend used to be very selfish, but now she/he prefers to share time and attention.

Teman saya dulu sangat egois = My friend used to be very selfish.
sekarang dia lebih suka berbagi waktu dan perhatian = now he/she prefers to share time and attention.

The words dulu and sekarang tell you past vs present. The rest of the sentence does not change form for tense.

What is the difference between teman saya and saya punya teman?

Both contain teman (friend) and saya (I / my), but they are used differently.

teman saya literally = my friend
- teman (friend) + saya (my)
- This is how you normally say my friend when you are talking about a specific friend.
saya punya teman literally = I have a friend
- saya (I) + punya (to have) + teman (a friend)
- This is used when you are introducing the existence of a friend, often for the first time in the conversation.

In this sentence you are talking about a particular person whose character changed, so teman saya dulu sangat egois (my friend used to be very selfish) is natural.

Saya punya teman dulu sangat egois would sound odd; you would need to continue the clause:
Saya punya teman yang dulu sangat egois = I have a friend who used to be very selfish.

What exactly does dulu mean here, and where can it go in the sentence?

In this context, dulu means before / in the past / formerly / used to.

Nuance:

It often implies “back then, compared to now”, especially when paired with sekarang.

Position:

Common placements include:
- Teman saya dulu sangat egois …
- Dulu teman saya sangat egois …
- Teman saya sangat egois dulu … (possible, but less common here)

All of these can work, but Teman saya dulu sangat egois and Dulu teman saya sangat egois are the most natural for this kind of contrast with sekarang.

What does egois mean, and is it the same as English egoist?

egois in Indonesian means selfish, self-centered.

It is a negative description of someone who only thinks about themselves.
It is a common, everyday word, not very formal.

It is related to the English word egoist, but in modern English egoist is less common than selfish. In Indonesian, egois is the normal, most common word to say someone is selfish:

Dia sangat egois. = He/She is very selfish.

What is the function of sangat here, and how is it different from sekali or banget?

sangat is an intensifier meaning very.

sangat egois = very selfish

Compared with other intensifiers:

sangat
- More neutral or slightly formal; fine in almost any context.
- Usually placed before the adjective: sangat egois.
sekali
- Also “very”, but used after the adjective:
  - egois sekali = very selfish.
- Neutral; common in spoken and written Indonesian.
banget
- Colloquial / informal; also placed after the adjective:
  - egois banget = really / super selfish (informal).

In this sentence, sangat egois sounds neutral and perfectly natural.

What does tetapi mean, and how is it different from tapi or namun?

All three introduce contrast, similar to but / however in English.

tetapi
- Means but / however.
- More formal / standard than tapi.
- Very suitable for written Indonesian or neutral speech.
tapi
- Short, informal form of tetapi.
- Common in everyday conversation.
- You could say: … egois, tapi sekarang dia …
namun
- Means however / nevertheless.
- Feels a bit more formal or written, often starts a clause:
  - Teman saya dulu sangat egois. Namun, sekarang dia …

In this sentence, tetapi is a good neutral choice:
Teman saya dulu sangat egois, tetapi sekarang dia … = My friend used to be very selfish, but now he/she …

How does lebih suka work? Why not just suka berbagi?

suka = to like
lebih = more
lebih suka together = to prefer, literally to like more

So dia lebih suka berbagi … means he/she prefers to share … (compared to some other behavior, e.g., keeping everything to themselves).

You can think of it as:

dia suka berbagi = he/she likes sharing.
dia lebih suka berbagi = he/she likes sharing more (than not sharing, or than doing something else).

You often see it in comparisons:

Dia lebih suka membaca daripada menonton TV.
= He/She prefers reading to watching TV.

Here, even without an explicit “than…”, context (the old selfish behavior) makes the comparison clear.

What does berbagi mean exactly, and does it need dengan (with)?

berbagi means to share.

Patterns:

berbagi sesuatu = to share something
- berbagi waktu dan perhatian = share time and attention
berbagi (sesuatu) dengan seseorang = share (something) with someone
- berbagi makanan dengan teman = share food with a friend
- berbagi waktu dan perhatian dengan keluarganya = share time and attention with his/her family

In your sentence:

dia lebih suka berbagi waktu dan perhatian
is complete and natural. It focuses on what is being shared (time and attention), not with whom.

You could add the recipient if you want:

dia lebih suka berbagi waktu dan perhatian dengan orang lain
= he/she prefers to share time and attention with other people.

Why is there no explicit “his/her” in waktu dan perhatian? Should it be waktunya dan perhatiannya?

Indonesian often omits possessive markers when the owner is clear from context.

Here, dia (he/she) is the subject, so it is naturally understood that the waktu dan perhatian (time and attention) belong to that person.

dia lebih suka berbagi waktu dan perhatian
is understood as “he/she prefers to share (his/her) time and attention”.

If you say:

dia lebih suka berbagi waktunya dan perhatiannya

this is also grammatically correct and clearly means his/her time and attention, but it can sound a bit heavier or more specific/emphatic. In many everyday sentences, Indonesians leave the possessive suffix out when the owner is obvious.

What does dia refer to, and can it mean both “he” and “she”?

Yes. dia is a gender-neutral third-person singular pronoun.

It can mean he, she, or sometimes “they” (singular, like “that person”), depending on context.
Indonesian does not normally mark gender in pronouns.

In this sentence, dia clearly refers back to teman saya (my friend):

Teman saya dulu sangat egois, tetapi sekarang dia …
= My friend used to be very selfish, but now he/she …

If the context already makes the subject obvious, you could even drop dia in spoken Indonesian:

Teman saya dulu sangat egois, tetapi sekarang lebih suka berbagi waktu dan perhatian.

That would still be understood as referring to teman saya.