Learn Hardcore Greek: Όταν έχω διαφωνία με τη φίλη μου, προσπαθώ να εκφράζω ήρεμα τη γνώμη μου και να βρίσκουμε συμβιβασμό. - When I have a disagreement with my friend, I try to express my opinion calmly and for us to find a compromise.

In Greek, after time words like όταν, μόλις, αφού etc., you normally use the present tense (or other non‑future tenses), even if the meaning is future.

Όταν έχω διαφωνία…
= “When(ever) I have a disagreement…”

Saying Όταν θα έχω διαφωνία is not standard; it sounds foreign or awkward. Greek expresses the future time through context here, not through the future tense.

Could you also say Όταν διαφωνώ με τη φίλη μου instead of Όταν έχω διαφωνία με τη φίλη μου? Is there any difference?

Yes, you can say both, and both are correct:

Όταν διαφωνώ με τη φίλη μου…
Literally: “When I disagree with my friend…”
Όταν έχω διαφωνία με τη φίλη μου…
Literally: “When I have a disagreement with my friend…”

The difference is very small:

διαφωνώ με κάποιον focuses on the verb “disagree”.
έχω διαφωνία με κάποιον focuses a bit more on the disagreement as a “thing” (a dispute, a conflict).

In everyday speech they are practically interchangeable here.

Why is there no article in έχω διαφωνία? Could I say έχω μια διαφωνία?

Both are possible:

έχω διαφωνία με τη φίλη μου
έχω μια διαφωνία με τη φίλη μου

The version without the article often sounds more general / typical:
“When I have disagreement with my friend (whenever that happens).”

Using μια makes it feel a bit more like one specific disagreement:
“When I have a disagreement (one particular issue) with my friend…”

In a generic, habitual sentence like this, leaving the article out is very natural.

Why is it με τη φίλη μου and not something like σε τη φίλη μου for “with my friend”?

The Greek preposition for “with” is με:

με τη φίλη μου = “with my (female) friend”
με τον φίλο μου = “with my (male) friend”

σε usually corresponds to “in / at / to”, not to “with”. So σε τη φίλη μου would be wrong here.

Why is the article written as τη φίλη μου and not την φίλη μου?

The feminine singular accusative article has two written forms:

την before a vowel or certain consonants
τη before most other consonants

In modern informal writing, many Greeks write τη φίλη (without ν) because φ is a consonant where the ν is often dropped in speech.

More “careful” spelling (e.g. in formal writing) often keeps ν before φ, θ, χ, ψ, ξ:

την φίλη μου
την ψυχή μου

So:

τη φίλη μου – very common in everyday writing.
την φίλη μου – also acceptable, a bit more conservative.

Both are understood; this is more about orthographic style than grammar.

Does η φίλη μου mean “my (female) friend” or “my girlfriend”? How do you tell?

η φίλη μου literally just means “my (female) friend.”
However, in context, it is very often used to mean “my girlfriend”, especially when:

the speaker is male, and
they are clearly talking about a romantic relationship.

To be more explicit:

η κοπέλα μου – strongly “my girlfriend”
το αγόρι μου – “my boyfriend”

To make it clearly just “female friend”, people sometimes add context:

μια φίλη μου από τη δουλειά – a (female) friend from work
μια απλή φίλη μου – just a friend (not romantic)

Why is the possessive μου placed after the noun (η φίλη μου, η γνώμη μου) instead of before, like in English?

In Greek, the unstressed possessive pronouns (μου, σου, του, της, μας, σας, τους) normally come after the noun:

η φίλη μου – my friend
η γνώμη μου – my opinion
το σπίτι μας – our house

This is the standard pattern. You cannot say μου φίλη the way you say “my friend” in English; that sounds wrong.

What is the function of να in προσπαθώ να εκφράζω… and να βρίσκουμε…?

να introduces the subjunctive in modern Greek. Many verbs that express:

desire / attempt (θέλω, προσπαθώ),
necessity (πρέπει),
ability (μπορώ),
purpose (για να)

are followed by να + verb.

So:

προσπαθώ να εκφράζω…
“I try to express…”
να βρίσκουμε συμβιβασμό
“(for us) to find a compromise.”

There is no separate subjunctive form in modern Greek; it’s να + present/aorist forms of the verb that mark this mood.

Why is it να εκφράζω and not να εκφράσω? What is the difference?

Both are grammatically possible, but they focus on different aspects:

να εκφράζω – imperfective aspect, ongoing / repeated action
Here it suggests a habitual way of behaving:
- “I try to express my opinion calmly (as a general habit, whenever we disagree).”
να εκφράσω – aorist aspect, single whole action
This would sound more like:
- “I am trying (right now / in this situation) to express my opinion calmly.”

Because the sentence describes a general pattern (“When I have a disagreement, I try to…”), the imperfective (να εκφράζω) fits very well.

Why is ήρεμα used here, and not ήρεμος / ήρεμη?

ήρεμος / ήρεμη / ήρεμο is an adjective = “calm” (describing a person / thing).

ήρεμα is the corresponding adverb = “calmly” (describing how something is done).

In να εκφράζω ήρεμα τη γνώμη μου, ήρεμα modifies the verb εκφράζω:

εκφράζω ήρεμα – “I express calmly”

If you used the adjective (ήρεμος), it would wrongly describe a noun, not the manner of expressing.

Could the word order be να εκφράζω τη γνώμη μου ήρεμα instead of να εκφράζω ήρεμα τη γνώμη μου?

Yes, both word orders are natural:

να εκφράζω ήρεμα τη γνώμη μου
να εκφράζω τη γνώμη μου ήρεμα

Greek adverbs like ήρεμα are fairly flexible in position. The differences are very subtle; sometimes moving the adverb can slightly emphasize it, but here both are perfectly acceptable and mean the same thing.

Why is it να βρίσκουμε συμβιβασμό (“we find a compromise”) when the main subject is I (προσπαθώ)? Why plural?

The subject of να βρίσκουμε is not just “I”, but “we” = me and my friend.

The structure is:

προσπαθώ – “I try”
να εκφράζω… – “to express my opinion…”
και να βρίσκουμε συμβιβασμό – “and for us (both) to find a compromise.”

So:

First infinitive‑like clause: I express my opinion.
Second clause: we (both parties) find a compromise.

If you said να βρίσκω συμβιβασμό, it would mean “for me to find a compromise”, but the idea here is mutual compromise, so plural makes sense.

Could we use να βρούμε συμβιβασμό instead of να βρίσκουμε συμβιβασμό? What would change?

Yes, you could say:

…και να βρούμε συμβιβασμό.

Difference:

να βρίσκουμε – imperfective:
- suggests a repeated / habitual action: “that we (tend to) find compromise (whenever we disagree)”
να βρούμε – aorist:
- focuses on each specific event: “so that we can (in each case) reach a compromise.”

In a general, habitual sentence, να βρίσκουμε fits very well, but να βρούμε would also be understandable and natural.

Why are τη γνώμη μου and συμβιβασμό in the accusative case?

In Greek, the direct object of a verb appears in the accusative.

Here:

εκφράζω τι; → (τη) γνώμη μου (my opinion) → accusative
βρίσκουμε τι; → (έναν) συμβιβασμό (a compromise) → accusative

So:

τη γνώμη μου – definite direct object (“my opinion”)
(έναν) συμβιβασμό – indefinite direct object (“a compromise”)

Why is there no article before συμβιβασμό? Could we say έναν συμβιβασμό?

Yes, both are possible:

…να βρίσκουμε συμβιβασμό.
…να βρίσκουμε έναν συμβιβασμό.

With έναν:

You’re slightly emphasizing “a compromise” as a concrete, countable thing each time.

Without έναν:

It sounds a bit more general / abstract: “to find compromise (in general, find some middle ground).”

In this kind of general statement, omitting the article is very natural and common.