Learn Hardcore Greek: Η φίλη μου λέει ότι είναι ευγνώμων όταν νιώθει στήριξη από την οικογένειά της. - My friend says that she is grateful when she feels support from her family.

Η φίλη μου literally is “the friend my”, but idiomatically it just means “my friend.”
The article η shows:
- gender: feminine
- number: singular
- case: nominative (it’s the subject of the sentence)

With a possessive like μου, you almost always keep the article:

η φίλη μου = my (female) friend
ο φίλος μου = my (male) friend
το παιδί μου = my child

So η φίλη μου is the natural, standard way to say “my friend (female).”

Why is μου after the noun (η φίλη μου) instead of before it like in English (my friend)?

Modern Greek usually places unstressed possessive pronouns after the noun:

η φίλη μου = my friend
το σπίτι σου = your house
η μητέρα μας = our mother

The word μου here is an enclitic (an unstressed word that “leans on” the word before it), so it virtually always comes after the noun.

If you want to emphasize “my friend (not someone else’s)”, you use a different structure:

η δική μου φίλη = my friend (with emphasis)

But you still don’t put μου in front of φίλη on its own. Μου φίλη is not correct in standard Greek.

Does μου change depending on whether the friend is male or female (η φίλη μου / ο φίλος μου)?

No. Μου never changes for gender or number.

ο φίλος μου = my (male) friend
η φίλη μου = my (female) friend
οι φίλοι μου = my friends

It is the article and noun that change for gender, number, and case, not μου.
Μου is simply “of me / my” in all these cases.

Where is “she” in this sentence? Why don’t we see a word for “she” before λέει?

Greek normally drops subject pronouns when the subject is clear from context and verb ending.

(Αυτή) λέει = (She) says

The verb form λέει is 3rd person singular, so it can mean:

he says
she says
it says

In this sentence, the subject is explicitly given as η φίλη μου (“my friend”), so there is no need for a separate αυτή (“she”):

Η φίλη μου λέει... = My friend says... / She says...

What is the function of ότι in λέει ότι είναι ευγνώμων? Is it the same as English “that”?

Yes. Here ότι is a conjunction meaning “that”, introducing a subordinate clause:

λέει ότι είναι ευγνώμων = she says that she is grateful

Rough equivalents:

English: She says that she is grateful.
Greek: Λέει ότι είναι ευγνώμων.

Two extra points:

You can almost always replace ότι with πως in this meaning:
- λέει ότι είναι ευγνώμων ≈ λέει πως είναι ευγνώμων
Don’t confuse ότι with ό,τι:
- ότι (no comma) = that (conjunction)
- ό,τι (with comma) = whatever, anything that (pronoun)
  Here we need the conjunction, so it’s ότι.

Could we use πως instead of ότι here? Is there any difference between λέει ότι and λέει πως?

In this sentence, ότι and πως are practically interchangeable:

η φίλη μου λέει ότι είναι ευγνώμων...
η φίλη μου λέει πως είναι ευγνώμων...

Both are understood as “my friend says that she is grateful...”

Nuances:

ότι is slightly more neutral and is preferred in more formal or written Greek.
πως can feel a bit more colloquial in modern speech.

But for a learner, you can treat λέει ότι and λέει πως as equivalent in this context.

What about είναι ευγνώμων – why does the adjective ευγνώμων look the same for a woman?

Ευγνώμων is an adjective of “common gender” in this use: the same form is used for masculine and feminine in the nominative singular in the predicate position.

So:

Είναι ευγνώμων. = He is grateful. / She is grateful.

You’ll meet other adjectives like this, often in more formal or “learned” vocabulary (from Ancient Greek patterns). When used after είμαι (“to be”) like this, they don’t change form between masculine and feminine in the singular nominative.

If you start declining it in other cases or numbers, it can take different endings (e.g. ευγνώμονες in the plural), but in this specific position it stays ευγνώμων for both he and she.

Why are the verbs είναι and νιώθει in the present tense? Could we say ήταν ευγνώμων όταν ένιωθε?

Here, the present tense describes something that is generally true or repeatedly true, not just one event:

είναι ευγνώμων = she is (generally) grateful
όταν νιώθει στήριξη = when(ever) she feels support

This is like English:

“She is grateful when she feels support from her family.”

If you say:

ήταν ευγνώμων όταν ένιωθε στήριξη
you shift to the past:
“She was grateful when she (used to) feel support.”

So:

Present + όταν → general/habitual: whenever X happens, Y is the case.
Past + όταν → describes what used to happen in the past.

What’s the nuance of όταν νιώθει? Does όταν here mean “when” or “whenever”?

With the present tense, όταν usually has a habitual/general meaning: “whenever / every time that.”

όταν νιώθει στήριξη = when(ever) she feels support

So the idea is:

Every time she feels support from her family, she is (or feels) grateful.

If you used όταν with a future or subjunctive form (e.g. όταν νιώσει), that would often refer to a specific future event:

Θα είναι ευγνώμων όταν νιώσει στήριξη.
= She will be grateful when she (first) feels support.

Could we use αισθάνεται instead of νιώθει in όταν νιώθει στήριξη? Are they the same?

In this context, they are very close in meaning and both are natural:

όταν νιώθει στήριξη
όταν αισθάνεται στήριξη

Both mean: “when she feels support.”

Nuances (often subtle and context‑dependent):

νιώθω is very common, slightly more informal-sounding, and used for emotions and bodily sensations:
νιώθω χαρά, νιώθω πόνο.
αισθάνομαι can sound a bit more formal or “mental/psychological,” but in everyday speech they overlap a lot.

For this sentence, νιώθει is perfectly natural and very common.

Why is there no article before στήριξη? Why not όταν νιώθει τη στήριξη?

Στήριξη is an abstract, uncountable noun here (“support” in general), and Greek often omits the article with such nouns when they are meant in a general, indefinite way.

νιώθει στήριξη = she feels (some) support / she feels supported

If you say:

νιώθει τη στήριξη
you are making it more specific: “she feels the support (in a particular situation we have in mind).”

In this sentence, we’re talking about support in general from her family, not one specific act, so the bare noun στήριξη without article fits better.

Why do we use από in στήριξη από την οικογένειά της? Could we say με την οικογένειά της or something else?

Here από marks the source or agent of the support: “support from her family.”

στήριξη από την οικογένειά της = support from her family

Compare:

δώρο από τη μητέρα μου = a gift from my mother
βοήθεια από έναν φίλο = help from a friend

If you used:

στήριξη με την οικογένειά της
that would mean something like “support with her family” (using her family as a means, or together with her family), which is not what is meant here.

So από is the natural choice to indicate who the support comes from.

Why does οικογένειά have an accent on the last syllable in την οικογένειά της? I thought it was οικογένεια.

The basic word is:

η οικογένεια (family), stressed on -γέ-.

When you add an enclitic like της after a word that is accented on the antepenultimate (third-from-last) syllable, Greek spelling rules say you must add a second accent on the last syllable:

η οικογένεια → η οικογένειά της
την οικογένειά της

This is a standard rule:

η θάλασσα → η θάλασσά μου
η πόλη → η πόλη μου (no second accent here because of syllable count)

So both forms are correct in context:

η οικογένεια = the family (by itself)
η οικογένειά της = her family (with enclitic της, so we add the extra accent)

What exactly is της doing in την οικογένειά της? Is it “her” or something like “to her”?

In την οικογένειά της, της is a possessive clitic pronoun meaning “her” (or “of her”).

οικογένεια = family
η οικογένειά της = her family

Grammatically, της here is the genitive singular of the 3rd-person pronoun. As a clitic after a noun, it usually means possession:

το σπίτι της = her house
το βιβλίο του = his book
τα παιδιά τους = their children

The exact same form της can also be used after verbs, meaning “to her / for her / of her”:

Της μίλησε. = He spoke to her.
Της έδωσε ένα δώρο. = He gave her a gift.

In this sentence, because it follows a noun, it is clearly possessive: την οικογένειά της = her family.