One of the first things that surprises learners about Portuguese reflexive verbs is that the same pronoun that means "myself / yourself / himself" can also mean "each other." When Ana and Pedro beijam-se at the door, they are not each kissing themselves — they are kissing each other. Portuguese folds both meanings into a single construction: a plural subject with the reflexive pronoun -se (or -nos) can be read reciprocally, and context usually makes the meaning clear. This page covers the reciprocal reading — how it is formed, when ambiguity arises, how to disambiguate, and the vocabulary of human relationships where this construction lives.
The core pattern
Reciprocal verbs are formed with exactly the same ingredients as any other reflexive: a plural subject and a matching reflexive pronoun. The only difference is in the meaning your listener extracts.
| Subject | Pronoun | Reading |
|---|---|---|
| nós | -nos | we ... each other / ourselves |
| eles / elas / vocês | -se | they ... each other / themselves |
The singular pronouns (me, te, se) cannot produce a reciprocal reading — "myself" does not divide into two people. Reciprocity needs a plural subject and a plural (or semantically plural) pronoun.
Eles beijam-se sempre que se encontram na rua.
They kiss each other whenever they meet on the street.
Os dois irmãos nunca se falaram depois daquela briga.
The two brothers never spoke to each other again after that fight.
Conhecemo-nos há mais de vinte anos.
We've known each other for more than twenty years.
Ajudam-se muito — é bonito de ver.
They help each other a lot — it's lovely to see.
Note the third example: Conhecemo-nos drops the -s of conhecemos when the enclitic -nos attaches. This is the same spelling rule that applies to every nós-form reflexive in the affirmative: encontramo-nos, escrevemo-nos, abraçamo-nos. When the pronoun moves proclitic (pulled by a trigger like não or quando), the -s comes back: não nos conhecemos, quando nos conhecemos.
Where English needs "each other," Portuguese often does not
English forces you to spell out the reciprocal relationship with each other or one another. Portuguese leaves it implicit — the reflexive pronoun does double duty. This is a genuine economy of expression: three words in English collapse into one clitic in Portuguese.
Escrevemo-nos quase todos os dias.
We write to each other almost every day.
Odeiam-se desde a infância — já nem sei porquê.
They've hated each other since childhood — I don't even remember why anymore.
For an English speaker, the trick is to stop looking for each other as a separate phrase and start reading the reflexive pronoun itself as capable of carrying that meaning. In the right context, se is "each other."
The ambiguity — and why it rarely matters
Because the same pronoun does both jobs, sentences like Eles lavam-se are technically ambiguous:
- (a) They wash themselves — each one washes his own body.
- (b) They wash each other — they wash one another's bodies.
In practice, context decides. If you are talking about two toddlers at bath time or two parents getting ready for work, reading (a) is obvious. If you are talking about two climbers who just came out of a cave covered in mud with no running water, reading (b) becomes plausible. Portuguese speakers — like speakers of every language with reciprocal-reflexive ambiguity — sort this out the way they sort out any ambiguity: by noticing the situation the sentence describes.
Os miúdos lavam-se antes do pequeno-almoço.
The kids wash themselves before breakfast. (reflexive, obviously)
Os dois atletas abraçaram-se no final da corrida.
The two athletes hugged each other at the end of the race. (reciprocal, obviously)
Eles olham-se sem dizer nada.
They are looking at each other without saying anything. (reciprocal — looking at oneself would be olhar-se ao espelho)
Making reciprocity explicit: um ao outro and mutuamente
When context is not enough — or when you want to emphasize the reciprocal relationship — Portuguese has two standard disambiguators.
um ao outro — "one to the other"
This is the most common and the most neutral. It agrees with the subject in gender and number. The literal structure is "one [preposition] [the] other":
| Subject | Form |
|---|---|
| two men / mixed | um ao outro |
| two women | uma à outra |
| three or more (mixed/male) | uns aos outros |
| three or more (female) | umas às outras |
The preposition is usually a (contracting with the article to ao / à / aos / às), but it matches whatever preposition the verb would take. Verbs that take de will have um do outro; verbs that take com will have um com o outro.
Beijaram-se um ao outro em frente a toda a gente.
They kissed each other in front of everyone.
As duas amigas contam tudo uma à outra.
The two friends tell each other everything.
Os três irmãos apoiam-se uns aos outros desde miúdos.
The three brothers have supported one another since they were kids.
Têm ciúmes um do outro.
They are jealous of each other. (ter ciúmes de → um do outro)
Casaram-se um com o outro depois de dez anos juntos.
They married each other after ten years together. (casar com → um com o outro)
mutuamente — "mutually"
Mutuamente is an adverb and is invariable. It is slightly more formal than um ao outro and is common in written Portuguese, journalism, and more deliberate speech. You will hear it less in casual conversation.
Os colegas ajudam-se mutuamente durante os exames.
The colleagues help each other mutually during exams.
Respeitam-se mutuamente, apesar das diferenças políticas.
They mutually respect one another, despite their political differences.
Os dois vizinhos ignoram-se mutuamente há meses.
The two neighbours have been ignoring each other for months.
Reciprocamente ("reciprocally") also exists but is mostly restricted to academic and legal registers; do not expect to hear it at a café.
The vocabulary of reciprocal action
Certain verbs are almost inherently reciprocal when they appear with a plural subject — actions that by their nature involve two people doing something to each other. Grouping them thematically helps you remember the pattern.
Friendship and affection
Os meus pais amam-se profundamente, mesmo ao fim de quarenta anos.
My parents love each other deeply, even after forty years.
Nós adoramo-nos, mas brigamos muito.
We adore each other, but we fight a lot.
Abraçaram-se no aeroporto como se não se vissem há séculos.
They hugged each other at the airport as if they hadn't seen each other in ages.
Cumprimentamo-nos sempre com dois beijinhos.
We always greet each other with two kisses on the cheek.
Romance and intimacy
Conhecemo-nos num concerto em Alvalade.
We met each other at a concert in Alvalade.
Beijaram-se pela primeira vez debaixo da chuva.
They kissed each other for the first time in the rain.
Apaixonaram-se na universidade e nunca mais se largaram.
They fell in love at university and never let go of each other since.
Namoraram-se durante cinco anos antes de casarem.
They dated each other for five years before getting married.
Conflict and enmity
Aqueles dois políticos detestam-se, mas fingem ser amigos nas câmaras.
Those two politicians hate each other, but pretend to be friends on camera.
As duas vizinhas insultaram-se na rua durante meia hora.
The two neighbours insulted each other in the street for half an hour.
Zangaram-se por causa de uma tolice qualquer.
They got angry with each other over some silly thing.
Os irmãos bateram-se no quintal e tiveram de ir ao hospital.
The brothers hit each other in the yard and had to go to hospital.
Communication and cooperation
Escrevemo-nos cartas durante a tropa, quando ele estava em Angola.
We wrote each other letters during military service, when he was in Angola.
Os alunos ajudam-se muito nos trabalhos de grupo.
The students help each other a lot on group projects.
Ligamo-nos todos os domingos — é uma tradição desde que ela foi para o estrangeiro.
We call each other every Sunday — it's a tradition since she moved abroad.
Os dois países respeitam-se e colaboram em questões de defesa.
The two countries respect each other and collaborate on defence matters.
Clitic placement with reciprocals
The reciprocal reading does not change the placement rules — reciprocals obey the same enclisis-by-default pattern as any other reflexive. Negation, subordination, and certain adverbs still pull the pronoun forward.
Eles não se falam há três anos.
They haven't spoken to each other in three years.
Quando nos vemos, fingimos que está tudo bem.
When we see each other, we pretend everything is fine.
Nunca se cumprimentam quando se cruzam no corredor.
They never greet each other when they pass in the corridor.
Sempre se deram bem — desde a escola primária.
They've always got on well with each other — since primary school.
For the full set of placement rules, see Pronoun Placement with Reflexives.
The nós form and the -s drop: worth repeating
Because so many reciprocal sentences have a nós subject ("we ... each other"), the -mos → -mo spelling rule comes up constantly. It is the single most frequent place where learners write the wrong form.
| Non-reflexive | With enclitic -nos |
|---|---|
| encontramos | encontramo-nos |
| escrevemos | escrevemo-nos |
| vemos | vemo-nos |
| abraçamos | abraçamo-nos |
| ajudamos | ajudamo-nos |
| conhecemos | conhecemo-nos |
Vemo-nos na sexta, então?
See each other on Friday, then?
Já nos conhecemos — fomos colegas em Aveiro.
We already know each other — we were colleagues in Aveiro.
Notice that in the second sentence the pronoun is proclitic (pulled forward by já), so the verb keeps its final -s: conhecemos, not conhecemo. The -s only drops in the enclitic configuration.
Reciprocal verbs that take a preposition
Some reciprocal verbs require a preposition to complete their meaning. When you disambiguate with um ao outro, the preposition shows up in the disambiguator.
| Verb | Preposition | Disambiguator |
|---|---|---|
| apaixonar-se | por | um pelo outro |
| casar-se | com | um com o outro |
| despedir-se | de | um do outro |
| aproximar-se | de | um do outro |
| afastar-se | de | um do outro |
| rir-se | de | um do outro |
Apaixonaram-se um pelo outro desde o primeiro dia.
They fell in love with each other from the first day.
Despediram-se um do outro na estação.
They said goodbye to each other at the station.
Aproximaram-se um do outro devagar, a sorrir.
They approached each other slowly, smiling.
Common Mistakes
❌ Nós beijamos-nos no parque.
Incorrect — the nós form drops its final -s when the enclitic -nos attaches. Correct: beijamo-nos.
✅ Nós beijamo-nos no parque.
We kissed each other in the park.
❌ Eles beijam-se cada um ao outro.
Incorrect — the phrase is um ao outro (or uns aos outros for three or more), not cada um. Cada is used differently.
✅ Eles beijam-se um ao outro.
They kiss each other.
❌ Eu e a Maria conhecemos um ao outro há anos.
Incomplete — Portuguese reciprocity needs the reflexive pronoun. You cannot use just um ao outro without -nos. The disambiguator reinforces the pronoun; it does not replace it.
✅ Eu e a Maria conhecemo-nos há anos.
Maria and I have known each other for years.
❌ Ela e eu gostamo-nos muito.
Incorrect — gostar is not reciprocally reflexive; it takes the preposition de. Say 'gostamos uma da outra' or 'gostamos muito uma da outra' for the reciprocal reading.
✅ Gostamos muito uma da outra.
We like each other a lot. (two women)
❌ Eles não falam-se há anos.
Incorrect placement — negation triggers proclitic position. The pronoun must come before the verb.
✅ Eles não se falam há anos.
They haven't spoken to each other in years.
Key Takeaways
- A plural subject with the reflexive pronoun (-nos, -se) can be read as reciprocal ("each other") or as literally reflexive ("themselves"). Context usually decides.
- The nós form drops its final -s before the enclitic -nos: encontramo-nos, escrevemo-nos, conhecemo-nos. The -s returns when the pronoun moves proclitic.
- To force a reciprocal reading, add um ao outro (agreeing in gender and number) or mutuamente (invariable adverb, slightly formal). The preposition in um ao outro matches the preposition the verb takes (um do outro, um com o outro, um pelo outro).
- Portuguese reciprocals do not need an explicit "each other" — the reflexive pronoun carries that meaning on its own, unlike English, which almost always requires the full phrase.
- The usual clitic placement rules apply: enclitic by default, proclitic after negation, subordination, certain adverbs, and interrogatives.
Related Topics
- Reflexive Verbs OverviewA2 — What reflexive verbs are in European Portuguese — the pronouns, the clitic placement rules, the five main categories (true reflexive, inherent, reciprocal, middle, and se-passive), and the key PT-PT vs PT-BR differences.
- Common Reflexive VerbsA2 — The core set of reflexive verbs in European Portuguese — lavar-se, vestir-se, sentir-se, chamar-se, and the rest — with full paradigms, natural examples, and notes on prepositions and clitic placement.
- Inherently Reflexive VerbsB1 — The Portuguese verbs that exist only in reflexive form — arrepender-se, queixar-se, orgulhar-se, esforçar-se, aperceber-se, and their cousins — where the pronoun is not a modifier but part of the verb itself.
- Reflexive vs Non-Reflexive: Meaning ShiftsB1 — The Portuguese verbs whose meaning changes — sometimes subtly, sometimes completely — when you add se. Lembrar vs lembrar-se, ir vs ir-se, sair vs sair-se, and a dozen more.
- Pronoun Placement with Reflexive VerbsB1 — The definitive reference for where to put the reflexive pronoun in European Portuguese — enclisis by default, proclisis after every trigger, mesoclisis in the formal future and conditional, and the nós -s drop.
- Reflexive Pronouns (Me, Te, Se, Nos, Vos, Se)A2 — The full paradigm of Portuguese reflexive pronouns — what they mean, which verbs take them, and how they express reflexive, reciprocal, and idiomatic meanings.