Portuguese has a large class of verbs where adding the reflexive pronoun does not simply "turn the action back on the subject" — it changes what the verb means. The non-reflexive lembrar is not a stripped-down version of lembrar-se; they mean two different things. Ir is not the same verb as ir-se. Sair is a completely different action from sair-se. Learning to handle this pair-by-pair is one of the key vocabulary skills at B1 and B2, because miss the pronoun and you say something subtly — or dramatically — different from what you meant.
This page catalogues the most important pairs, explains the logic behind each shift where one exists, and gives you contrasting example sentences so you can feel the difference.
Why adding se can change the meaning
There is no single rule for what -se does when it changes a verb's meaning, but several recurring patterns show up:
- Transitive → intransitive: the non-reflexive verb takes an object (sentar alguém, "to seat someone"); the reflexive drops it (sentar-se, "to sit down").
- Active → inward-facing: lembrar means "to remind someone of something" (you act on them); lembrar-se means "to remember" (the action happens in your own mind).
- Movement → change of state: ir means "to go"; ir-se means "to leave" in a more emphatic, finalized sense. The reflexive adds a sense of "from here" or "completed departure."
- Neutral → evaluative: sair just means "to go out"; sair-se means "to do well or badly" — a whole different concept hidden under the same root.
- Literal → idiomatic: pôr means "to put"; pôr-se a
- infinitive means "to start suddenly doing" — an aspectual idiom that has little to do with putting.
Keep these patterns in mind as you work through the pairs. They will help you predict what the shift is likely to be for verbs you have not yet encountered.
The high-frequency pairs
These are the pairs that come up most often. Master them and you will navigate 80% of the reflexive/non-reflexive meaning shifts you encounter.
lembrar vs lembrar-se (de)
- lembrar algo a alguém — "to remind someone of something"
- lembrar-se de algo — "to remember something"
The non-reflexive lembrar has an external subject doing the reminding; the reflexive lembrar-se has the rememberer as the subject.
Esta música lembra-me a minha infância.
This music reminds me of my childhood. (the music is the subject; 'me' is an indirect object)
Lembro-me da minha infância sempre que ouço esta música.
I remember my childhood whenever I hear this music. (I am the subject; I am doing the remembering)
Lembraste-te de ligar ao teu pai?
Did you remember to call your father?
esquecer vs esquecer-se (de)
- esquecer algo — "to forget something" (transitive, less colloquial in Portugal)
- esquecer-se de algo — "to forget something" (reflexive, the everyday form)
Both are grammatical and both mean "to forget." In European Portuguese speech, the reflexive form dominates; the non-reflexive feels slightly literary or slightly Brazilian.
Esqueci o guarda-chuva no comboio.
I left my umbrella on the train. (non-reflexive — feels more concise, slightly formal)
Esqueci-me do guarda-chuva no comboio.
I forgot my umbrella on the train. (reflexive — the everyday spoken form)
Não te esqueças de comprar pão.
Don't forget to buy bread.
ir vs ir-se (embora)
- ir — "to go" (general movement toward somewhere)
- ir-se or ir-se embora — "to leave / be off" (emphatic departure from here)
The reflexive adds emotional weight — a sense of "I'm out of here" or "I'm done and leaving." In modern European Portuguese, ir-se on its own is a bit old-fashioned; ir-se embora or just ir embora (without reflexive) is more common.
Vou ao supermercado comprar leite.
I'm going to the supermarket to buy milk. (simple movement)
Vou-me embora, já é tarde.
I'm off, it's already late. (leaving from here)
Foi-se sem dizer uma palavra.
He left without saying a word. (emphatic, almost dramatic)
O avô já se foi — faleceu há três anos.
Grandpa's gone — he passed away three years ago. (euphemism for dying)
The last use — ir-se as a euphemism for passing away — is common in funeral and obituary language, and worth recognizing even if you never produce it.
sair vs sair-se
- sair — "to go out, leave, exit" (physical movement)
- sair-se — "to turn out / do (well or badly) in something"
This is a striking shift. Sair-se has essentially nothing to do with going out — it is an evaluation of how someone performed.
Saí de casa às oito da manhã.
I left the house at eight in the morning. (physical exit)
Saí-me bem no exame de matemática.
I did well on the maths exam.
O meu irmão saiu-se mal na entrevista — ficou nervoso.
My brother did badly in the interview — he got nervous.
Como te saíste no teste?
How did you do on the test?
portar vs portar-se
- portar — "to carry, bear" (rare in modern Portuguese speech — literary or technical)
- portar-se — "to behave"
Portar alone almost never appears in everyday speech; when you hear this verb, it will nearly always be portar-se.
Os miúdos portaram-se lindamente no restaurante.
The kids behaved beautifully at the restaurant.
Porta-te bem na escola, está bem?
Behave yourself at school, okay?
Ele portou-se muito mal com a namorada.
He behaved really badly toward his girlfriend.
encontrar vs encontrar-se
- encontrar — "to find, come across"
- encontrar-se — (a) "to meet up" (reciprocal), (b) "to be located / to be in a certain state" (stative)
This verb has three distinct uses split across the reflexive and non-reflexive forms.
Encontrei a minha carteira debaixo do sofá.
I found my wallet under the sofa. (non-reflexive — locating something lost)
Encontrámo-nos às sete em frente ao cinema.
We met at seven in front of the cinema. (reflexive reciprocal — appointment)
A igreja encontra-se no centro histórico.
The church is located in the historic centre. (reflexive stative — slightly formal)
O paciente encontra-se estável.
The patient is in stable condition. (reflexive stative — medical/formal)
The stative encontrar-se ("to find oneself = to be in a state or place") is slightly formal and you will meet it in news reports, medical bulletins, and written descriptions. In casual speech, estar replaces it: a igreja está no centro.
tornar vs tornar-se
- tornar — "to turn, to return" (rare in modern Portugal — very literary, or in set phrases like tornar a fazer "to do again")
- tornar-se — "to become"
Tornar-se is the standard way to say "to become" + noun or adjective.
Ele tornou-se médico depois de dez anos de estudo.
He became a doctor after ten years of study.
Lisboa tornou-se uma das cidades mais caras da Europa.
Lisbon has become one of the most expensive cities in Europe.
Tornou a chover.
It started raining again. (tornar a + infinitive — literary idiom for 'do again')
The literary tornar a + infinitive ("to do something again") is mostly confined to written Portuguese; in speech, voltar a + infinitive is standard. See voltar a + infinitive.
parecer vs parecer-se (com)
- parecer — "to seem, appear" (+ adjective or + que clause)
- parecer-se com — "to look like, resemble" (+ person or thing)
Pareces cansado, estás bem?
You seem tired, are you okay? (non-reflexive — general impression)
Parece que vai chover.
It looks like it's going to rain. (non-reflexive + que)
A tua filha parece-se muito com a tua mãe.
Your daughter really looks like your mother. (reflexive — physical resemblance)
Pareço-me mais com o meu pai do que com a minha mãe.
I look more like my father than my mother.
chamar vs chamar-se
- chamar alguém — "to call someone (by name, for help, etc.)"
- chamar-se — "to be named / called"
Chama o teu irmão para o jantar.
Call your brother for dinner. (non-reflexive — summoning)
Chamei um táxi para ir para o aeroporto.
I called a taxi to go to the airport.
A minha filha chama-se Leonor.
My daughter's name is Leonor.
Como te chamas?
What's your name?
decidir vs decidir-se (a / por)
- decidir algo — "to decide something"
- decidir-se a / por — "to make up one's mind (finally, decisively)"
The reflexive adds the flavour of a resolved internal debate. Decidi sair is a neutral statement; decidi-me a sair implies I wrestled with the decision and finally committed.
Decidi mudar de emprego.
I decided to change jobs. (neutral decision)
Finalmente decidi-me a mudar de emprego.
I finally made up my mind to change jobs. (emphasized resolution)
Decidimo-nos por aquele apartamento em Alfama.
We settled on that apartment in Alfama.
casar vs casar-se (com)
- casar — "to marry / get married"
- casar-se (com) — "to get married (to)"
In modern European Portuguese, both forms are used, with a slight register difference: casar alone sounds a touch more colloquial and direct, while casar-se com is slightly more formal. Many speakers use them interchangeably.
Os meus primos casam no próximo sábado.
My cousins are getting married next Saturday. (colloquial)
Casou-se com um médico inglês.
She married an English doctor. (slightly more formal)
O padre casou-os no domingo passado.
The priest married them last Sunday. (transitive — the priest performed the ceremony)
Notice the last example: casar can also be transitive, meaning "to marry someone off" or "to perform the marriage of." Context clears up the reading.
levantar vs levantar-se
- levantar algo — "to raise, lift, pick up something"
- levantar-se — "to stand up, get up"
Levanta essa caixa com cuidado — está cheia.
Lift that box carefully — it's full.
Levanto-me sempre às seis.
I always get up at six.
Levantei o copo para brindar.
I raised my glass to toast. (non-reflexive — moving an object)
Levantaram-se todos quando o juiz entrou.
Everyone stood up when the judge entered. (reflexive — the people themselves)
sentar vs sentar-se
- sentar alguém — "to seat someone, place someone in a seat"
- sentar-se — "to sit down"
Sentei a avó no melhor lugar do carro.
I seated grandma in the best spot in the car.
Senta-te aqui, ao meu lado.
Sit down here, next to me.
Ele sentou o filho no colo e contou-lhe uma história.
He sat his son on his lap and told him a story.
deitar vs deitar-se
- deitar algo — "to throw, lay, pour"
- deitar-se — "to lie down / go to bed"
Deitar non-reflexive is a workhorse verb with many meanings: "to throw out" (deitar o lixo fora), "to pour" (deitar água no copo), "to lay down" (deitar o bebé na cama). The reflexive is always about the subject lying down or going to bed.
Deitei o lixo no caixote antes de sair.
I threw the rubbish in the bin before leaving.
Deita-te mais cedo — tens de acordar às seis.
Go to bed earlier — you have to get up at six.
Deitou-se no sofá com um livro.
He lay down on the sofa with a book.
Podes deitar mais vinho no meu copo?
Can you pour more wine into my glass?
pôr vs pôr-se (a)
- pôr algo — "to put, place"
- pôr-se (a) + infinitive — "to start (suddenly) doing something"
This is one of the most useful idiomatic reflexives in Portuguese. Pôr-se a chorar means "to burst into tears." Pôr-se a rir means "to start laughing." The construction marks a sudden onset.
Põe o livro na estante, se fazes favor.
Put the book on the shelf, please. (non-reflexive — placing)
Pôs-se a chorar quando ouviu a notícia.
She burst into tears when she heard the news.
O cão pôs-se a ladrar a meio da noite.
The dog started barking in the middle of the night.
Põe-te a estudar, senão reprovas.
Get yourself studying, or you'll fail.
Pôr-se can also mean "to put oneself in a position" (literally):
Põe-te ao pé da janela, que há mais luz.
Stand over by the window, there's more light.
Subtler pairs to recognize
These are less frequent or more specialized, but worth knowing for reading and for higher-level speech.
| Verb | Non-reflexive meaning | Reflexive meaning |
|---|---|---|
| perder | to lose (something) | perder-se: to get lost |
| afogar | to drown (someone/something) | afogar-se: to drown (oneself) |
| queimar | to burn (something) | queimar-se: to get burnt / burn oneself |
| esconder | to hide (something) | esconder-se: to hide (oneself) |
| aproximar | to bring close | aproximar-se: to approach |
| afastar | to move (something) away | afastar-se: to move away (oneself) |
| cansar | to tire (someone) | cansar-se: to get tired |
| preparar | to prepare (something) | preparar-se: to get ready |
Perdi as chaves ontem à noite.
I lost my keys last night.
Perdemo-nos na cidade velha — o GPS não funcionava.
We got lost in the old town — the GPS wasn't working.
Cuidado, não te queimes com o óleo.
Careful, don't burn yourself with the oil.
Queimei o jantar — a casa está a tresandar.
I burnt dinner — the house reeks.
Prepara-te, que vamos sair em cinco minutos.
Get ready, we're leaving in five minutes.
A mental trick: ask "who is the real subject?"
When you are deciding whether to add -se to a verb, ask yourself: is the subject doing this to something/someone else, or to themselves / as a change in themselves?
- "I am raising the flag" — I act on the flag → levantar (no -se).
- "I am getting up" — I act on myself (my own body moves) → levantar-se.
- "I am hiding the key" — I act on the key → esconder.
- "I am hiding" — I act on myself (I conceal my own body) → esconder-me.
Where the subject is the thing being acted on or changed, the reflexive marks that fact. Where the subject is acting on something external, no reflexive is needed.
This works for most of the pairs in this page, though not all — sair-se, pôr-se a, and tornar-se follow idiomatic shifts rather than this logic. But as a first-pass rule of thumb, it gets you right most of the time.
Common Mistakes
❌ Lembro o teu aniversário.
Ambiguous and wrong in modern usage — to say 'I remember,' use the reflexive: lembro-me. Without -me, lembrar means 'to remind (someone),' which this sentence leaves incomplete.
✅ Lembro-me do teu aniversário.
I remember your birthday.
❌ Quero levantar às sete.
Incorrect — levantar without -se means 'to raise, lift (something).' To mean 'get up,' you need levantar-me.
✅ Quero levantar-me às sete.
I want to get up at seven.
❌ Tornei médico.
Incorrect — tornar alone means 'to return' or 'to do again' in literary Portuguese; it does not mean 'to become.' Use tornar-se.
✅ Tornei-me médico.
I became a doctor.
❌ Saí bem no exame.
Ambiguous in EP — sair without -se primarily means 'to go out, leave.' To say 'I did well on an exam,' use sair-se.
✅ Saí-me bem no exame.
I did well on the exam.
❌ Os miúdos portaram muito bem.
Incorrect in modern EP — portar almost never appears without -se in everyday speech. 'To behave' is portar-se.
✅ Os miúdos portaram-se muito bem.
The kids behaved really well.
❌ Pareço o meu pai.
Incorrect for 'to look like' — you need parecer-se com. Alone, parecer means 'to seem,' which is a different meaning.
✅ Pareço-me com o meu pai.
I look like my father.
Key Takeaways
- Adding -se to a Portuguese verb can change its meaning in several ways: transitive to intransitive (sentar → sentar-se), active to inward-facing (lembrar → lembrar-se), movement to departure (ir → ir-se embora), neutral to evaluative (sair → sair-se bem), or literal to idiomatic (pôr → pôr-se a).
- Learn pairs, not single verbs: lembrar/lembrar-se, esquecer/esquecer-se, ir/ir-se, sair/sair-se, portar/portar-se, encontrar/encontrar-se, tornar/tornar-se, parecer/parecer-se, chamar/chamar-se, decidir/decidir-se, casar/casar-se, levantar/levantar-se, sentar/sentar-se, deitar/deitar-se, pôr/pôr-se.
- A first-pass rule: if the subject is acting on something external, use the non-reflexive; if the subject is the thing being acted on or changed, use the reflexive.
- The reflexive often takes a different preposition than the non-reflexive, and sometimes the non-reflexive takes none while the reflexive does: parecer cansado vs parecer-se *com o pai; *decidir algo vs decidir-se *a / por*.
- Some pairs are purely idiomatic shifts (sair-se bem, pôr-se a chorar, ir-se embora) and have to be memorized as units rather than predicted from the components.
Related Topics
- Reflexive Verbs OverviewA2 — What reflexive verbs are in European Portuguese — the pronouns, the clitic placement rules, the five main categories (true reflexive, inherent, reciprocal, middle, and se-passive), and the key PT-PT vs PT-BR differences.
- Common Reflexive VerbsA2 — The core set of reflexive verbs in European Portuguese — lavar-se, vestir-se, sentir-se, chamar-se, and the rest — with full paradigms, natural examples, and notes on prepositions and clitic placement.
- Inherently Reflexive VerbsB1 — The Portuguese verbs that exist only in reflexive form — arrepender-se, queixar-se, orgulhar-se, esforçar-se, aperceber-se, and their cousins — where the pronoun is not a modifier but part of the verb itself.
- Reciprocal Verbs — Each OtherB1 — How European Portuguese uses the reflexive pronoun with plural subjects to mean 'each other' — the pattern, the ambiguity with true reflexives, and the disambiguators um ao outro and mutuamente.
- Pronoun Placement with Reflexive VerbsB1 — The definitive reference for where to put the reflexive pronoun in European Portuguese — enclisis by default, proclisis after every trigger, mesoclisis in the formal future and conditional, and the nós -s drop.
- Reflexive Pronouns (Me, Te, Se, Nos, Vos, Se)A2 — The full paradigm of Portuguese reflexive pronouns — what they mean, which verbs take them, and how they express reflexive, reciprocal, and idiomatic meanings.