Some Portuguese verbs come with a se permanently attached, even though no one is doing anything to themselves. These are pronominal verbs (verbos pronominais): the pronoun is part of the verb's identity, listed in the dictionary as part of the entry — lembrar-se, arrepender-se, queixar-se. Learning them means learning the se and, crucially, the preposition that follows. This is also where Brazilian speech diverges sharply from the written norm, so the register notes here matter as much as the rules.
What "lexicalized se" means
In a true reflexive (ela se vestiu — she dressed herself), you can remove the se and the verb still works with a different object (ela vestiu o bebê — she dressed the baby). With a pronominal verb, the se is welded on by the grammar of the verb itself. The action is not bouncing back onto the subject in any meaningful sense — arrepender-se (to regret) does not mean "to repent oneself." The se is simply part of how the verb is built.
Ela se arrependeu de ter vendido o carro.
She regretted having sold the car.
Eu me lembro do meu primeiro dia de aula como se fosse ontem.
I remember my first day of class as if it were yesterday.
Ele se queixou do barulho dos vizinhos a noite inteira.
He complained about the neighbors' noise all night long.
The high-frequency pronominal verbs
These are the ones you will meet constantly. Memorize each one together with its obligatory preposition — the preposition is not optional and rarely matches English intuition.
| Verb | Preposition | Meaning | Example phrase |
|---|---|---|---|
| lembrar-se | de | to remember | lembrar-se de uma data |
| esquecer-se | de | to forget | esquecer-se de pagar |
| arrepender-se | de | to regret | arrepender-se de uma escolha |
| queixar-se | de | to complain | queixar-se do serviço |
| atrever-se | a | to dare | atrever-se a responder |
| referir-se | a | to refer to | referir-se ao problema |
| dirigir-se | a | to address / head toward | dirigir-se ao público |
| suicidar-se | — | to take one's own life | (no preposition) |
There is no shortcut for these prepositions — you must memorize them. A useful grouping: the "de" group clusters around mental events directed at a topic (remember, forget, regret, complain — all "about" something), while the "a" group involves moving or reaching toward a target (dare to, refer to, address). That logic is loose, not airtight, but it helps the prepositions stick.
Não me esqueci de você nem por um segundo.
I didn't forget about you for even a second.
Ninguém se atreveu a contrariar o chefe na reunião.
No one dared to contradict the boss in the meeting.
O autor se refere a um episódio histórico pouco conhecido.
The author refers to a little-known historical episode. (formal)
The big Brazilian split: dropping the se in speech
Here is the point that surprises most learners and that textbooks often hide. In everyday Brazilian Portuguese, the verbs lembrar and esquecer are increasingly used without the se and without the preposition — treated as plain transitive verbs, just like English "remember" and "forget."
Eu lembro do seu aniversário, pode deixar.
I remember your birthday, don't worry. (informal — 'se' dropped, 'de' kept)
Esqueci a chave em casa de novo.
I forgot the key at home again. (informal — both 'se' and 'de' dropped)
Você lembra daquele restaurante que a gente foi?
Do you remember that restaurant we went to? (informal)
Compare the same ideas in careful written register, where the full pronominal form is expected:
Lembro-me perfeitamente daquela tarde de inverno.
I remember that winter afternoon perfectly. (formal/written)
Esqueci-me de avisar que a reunião foi adiada.
I forgot to mention that the meeting was postponed. (formal/written)
So you are really dealing with two registers of the same verb:
| Register | Remember | Forget |
|---|---|---|
| Spoken / informal (BR) | lembrar (de) — no se | esquecer — no se, often no de |
| Written / formal | lembrar-se de | esquecer-se de |
This drift is much weaker for the other pronominal verbs. Arrepender-se, queixar-se, and atrever-se still strongly prefer their se even in casual speech — you will rarely hear ele arrependeu without the pronoun. It is mainly lembrar and esquecer (the two most frequent of the group) that have gone transitive in colloquial Brazil.
A revealing contrast: lembrar without se changes the structure
When se drops off lembrar, the verb can also take on a slightly different construction: lembrar alguém de algo means "to remind someone of something." Watch how the same root verb splits into related meanings depending on whether the pronoun and preposition are present.
Me lembra de ligar para o dentista, por favor.
Remind me to call the dentist, please. (informal — 'lembrar' = to remind)
Esse cheiro me lembra a casa da minha avó.
This smell reminds me of my grandmother's house.
In the first, lembrar means remind; the me is an object (remind me), not a reflexive. In the pronominal lembrar-se de, the me is part of the verb (I remember). English uses two different verbs — remember vs remind — where Portuguese reshapes one verb with pronouns and prepositions.
Common mistakes
❌ Eu lembro o seu aniversário.
Incorrect (in the 'remember' sense) — needs the preposition 'de': lembrar DE.
✅ Eu lembro do seu aniversário.
I remember your birthday.
Even when speakers drop the se, the preposition de usually stays for "remember." Lembrar o aniversário would be heard as "to remind [someone] of the birthday," a different meaning. English "I remember X" has no preposition, so learners delete the de — but Brazilians keep it.
❌ Ela arrependeu de vender o carro.
Incorrect — arrepender keeps its 'se' even in speech.
✅ Ela se arrependeu de vender o carro.
She regretted selling the car.
❌ Ele se queixou sobre o barulho.
Incorrect — queixar-se takes 'de', not 'sobre'.
✅ Ele se queixou do barulho.
He complained about the noise.
English "complain about" tempts learners into sobre, but the fixed Portuguese pattern is queixar-se de.
❌ Eu me esqueci pagar a conta.
Incorrect — esquecer-se requires 'de' before the infinitive.
✅ Eu me esqueci de pagar a conta.
I forgot to pay the bill.
❌ Ninguém se atreveu de responder.
Incorrect — atrever-se takes 'a', not 'de'.
✅ Ninguém se atreveu a responder.
No one dared to answer.
The preposition is verb-specific. Atrever-se a, referir-se a, and dirigir-se a all take a; do not let the de of the more common verbs spread to them.
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Start learning Portuguese→Related Topics
- True Reflexive Verbs (Self-Directed Action)A2 — Reflexive verbs where the subject acts on itself — grooming and body-care verbs — plus the BR habit of dropping the pronoun and using the article with body parts.
- Change-of-State 'Se' Verbs (levantar-se, sentar-se)A2 — Verbs of posture and emotional shift that traditionally take 'se' — and the strong Brazilian tendency to drop it in speech, the cleanest BR-vs-PT-PT contrast there is.
- LembrarA1 — Full conjugation and usage reference for 'lembrar' — a regular -ar verb that means both 'to remind' and (reflexively) 'to remember', with a uniquely Brazilian habit of dropping the pronoun.
- EsquecerA2 — Full conjugation and usage reference for 'esquecer' (to forget) — an -er verb with a c→ç spelling change and a meaning that shifts depending on whether you use the reflexive pronoun.
- Pronominal (Reflexive) Verb ListB1 — A reference list of Brazilian Portuguese pronominal verbs, each with its meaning and the preposition it requires.
- Prepositions Required by VerbsB1 — Verb government in Brazilian Portuguese (regência verbal): which verbs demand de, a, em, com, or por before their object — gostar de, assistir a, pensar em, sonhar com — and how everyday speech bends the prescriptive rules.