A reflexive verb (verbo pronominal) is a verb that comes packaged with a pronoun referring back to the subject: me, te, se, nos, se. English has reflexive pronouns too — myself, yourself, themselves — but uses them sparingly and only when the meaning is genuinely "to oneself." Portuguese uses its reflexive pronouns far more widely, and for three quite different jobs. Sorting those jobs out is the key to understanding why Eu me lavo, Eles se beijaram, and Eu me lembro all carry a pronoun even though only one of them is "reflexive" in the English sense.
The three categories
Every Portuguese verb that takes one of these pronouns falls into one of three groups. The pronoun looks the same in all three; what differs is what the pronoun is doing.
1. True reflexives — the action loops back on the subject
Here the subject genuinely does something to itself. You could, in principle, replace the pronoun with "myself / yourself / itself" in English and it would still make sense.
Eu me lavo todas as manhãs.
I wash (myself) every morning.
A criança se machucou no parque.
The child hurt herself at the playground.
In Eu me lavo, the washer and the washed are the same person. The me is a real object — it just happens to point back at the subject. This is the prototypical case, and it has its own dedicated page on self-directed action.
2. Reciprocals — "each other"
When two or more subjects do something to one another, Portuguese uses the same pronouns, now meaning "each other" rather than "to oneself." Naturally this only works in the plural.
Eles se beijaram na frente de todo mundo.
They kissed each other in front of everyone.
A gente se conhece há anos.
We've known each other for years.
Os irmãos se abraçaram no aeroporto.
The brothers hugged each other at the airport.
English distinguishes themselves (each person to himself) from each other (mutually) with two separate words; Portuguese uses se for both and lets context decide. Eles se olharam almost always means "they looked at each other," not "each looked at himself" — but if there's any doubt, you can add um ao outro ("one to the other") to force the reciprocal reading: Eles se ajudam um ao outro.
3. Lexical pronominal verbs — the "se" is just part of the word
This is the category that surprises English speakers most. In many verbs the pronoun is not reflexive at all — nobody is doing anything to themselves. The pronoun is simply baked into the verb's dictionary entry, the way English bakes a preposition into "to rely on" or "to look forward to." You cannot remove it and you cannot translate it.
Eu me lembro do seu aniversário.
I remember your birthday.
Ela se arrependeu de ter saído cedo.
She regretted having left early.
A gente se queixou do barulho.
We complained about the noise.
In Eu me lembro, you are not "remembering yourself" — the me carries no separate meaning. The verb lembrar-se de is just how Portuguese encodes "to remember." Other members of this group include arrepender-se de (to regret), queixar-se de (to complain), atrever-se a (to dare), and suicidar-se (to commit suicide). These verbs are listed and explained on the lexical pronominal page.
How this differs from English
English reserves -self pronouns for true reflexives and emphasis (I did it myself). It has no reflexive marking at all for the reciprocal-with-one-word cases, and certainly nothing like the lexical se. So an English speaker tends to under-use the pronoun in Portuguese, producing Eu lembro o seu aniversário (sounds incomplete or like a different verb) instead of Eu me lembro do seu aniversário. The reverse error — over-using -self logic — also happens: learners assume se must always mean "oneself" and get baffled by suicidar-se or queixar-se.
The Brazilian drift: dropping the pronoun
Here is the living, modern complication. Brazilian Portuguese has been quietly shifting many traditionally reflexive verbs into non-reflexive use in everyday speech. Two of the most common examples:
- lembrar — Classical grammar wants lembrar-se de ("Eu me lembro de você"). But colloquial BR very frequently drops the pronoun and the preposition pattern shifts: Eu lembro de você is extremely common in speech.
- levantar — Traditionally levantar-se ("to get up"): Eu me levanto às sete. In casual BR you constantly hear Eu levanto às sete, with no pronoun.
Eu lembro de você sim, a gente estudou junto.
I do remember you, we studied together. (colloquial, no se)
Eu me lembro perfeitamente daquele dia.
I remember that day perfectly. (full pronominal, more careful)
Levanto cedo todo dia pra ir trabalhar.
I get up early every day to go to work. (colloquial, no se)
This is not "bad Portuguese" — it is genuine, widespread spoken usage, and you will hear educated Brazilians say Eu lembro de você without a flicker of hesitation. But it is worth knowing that the full pronominal forms (lembrar-se de, levantar-se) are what careful writing and formal speech still use. So you have a competition: the traditional reflexive lembrar-se de versus the colloquial non-reflexive lembrar de, both alive at once.
Common Mistakes
❌ Eu lavo cada manhã.
Incorrect — true reflexive needs the pronoun when no object is named.
✅ Eu me lavo toda manhã.
I wash up every morning.
❌ Eu lembro o nome dele.
Incorrect for standard usage — lembrar (no se) takes 'de', not a direct noun, here.
✅ Eu me lembro do nome dele. / Eu lembro do nome dele. (colloquial)
I remember his name.
❌ Eles beijaram na festa.
Incorrect — reciprocal needs se, otherwise it reads as 'they kissed someone'.
✅ Eles se beijaram na festa.
They kissed (each other) at the party.
❌ Ela arrependeu de ter ido.
Incorrect — arrepender-se is lexically pronominal; the pronoun is obligatory.
✅ Ela se arrependeu de ter ido.
She regretted having gone.
❌ A gente conhecemos há anos.
Incorrect — a gente takes 3sg agreement and the reciprocal se.
✅ A gente se conhece há anos.
We've known each other for years.
Key Takeaways
- Three categories share one set of pronouns: true reflexives (action loops back), reciprocals ("each other"), and lexical pronominal verbs (the se is just part of the word).
- Only true reflexives and reciprocals can be paraphrased; with lexical verbs, the pronoun carries no independent meaning.
- English speakers tend to drop the pronoun where Portuguese needs it, and to assume se always means "oneself."
- Colloquial BR is dropping the pronoun on common verbs like lembrar and levantar — a register feature, not an error. Keep the full pronominal forms in writing.
Now practice Portuguese
Reading grammar gets you part of the way. The exercises are where it sticks — free, no signup needed.
Start learning Portuguese→Related Topics
- Reflexive Pronouns: me, te, se, nosA2 — The full set of Portuguese reflexive pronouns, how the overloaded se covers most persons, and why Brazilian speech places them before the verb.
- True Reflexive Verbs (Self-Directed Action)A2 — Reflexive verbs where the subject acts on itself — grooming and body-care verbs — plus the BR habit of dropping the pronoun and using the article with body parts.
- Reciprocal Reflexive (Each Other)A2 — How Portuguese uses se, nos, and a gente with plural subjects to mean 'each other' — including the fossilized parting phrase a gente se fala.
- Pronominal Verbs (Lexicalized 'Se')B1 — Verbs like lembrar-se, esquecer-se, and arrepender-se where 'se' is part of the verb itself — plus the colloquial Brazilian habit of dropping it.
- Reflexive Pronouns: me, te, se, nos, seA2 — The Brazilian reflexive pronoun set and its three jobs — true reflexive, reciprocal, and pronominal — with special attention to the overloaded 'se'.
- Reflexive vs Non-Reflexive: BR DriftB1 — How colloquial Brazilian Portuguese drops the reflexive 'se' from many traditionally pronominal verbs — levantar, lembrar, sentar, esquecer — and which verbs stubbornly keep it.