A reflexive verb is one whose subject and object refer to the same entity — the action loops back onto the doer. In English, you signal this with myself, yourself, himself: I wash myself, she dressed herself, they enjoyed themselves. In Italian, the same idea is expressed by a small set of reflexive pronouns placed before the verb, and the infinitive is marked with -si instead of the usual -re.
The crucial point for English speakers: Italian uses reflexive verbs in far more situations than English does. Daily routine, emotional changes, falling asleep, getting angry, having fun — Italian marks all of these reflexively, even when English uses no pronoun whatsoever. Mastering this category is not optional; you cannot describe a normal day in Italian without it.
The reflexive infinitive: -si
A reflexive infinitive is built by dropping the final -e of the regular infinitive and attaching -si (the third-person reflexive pronoun, used as a generic marker). The result is a single word.
| Non-reflexive | Reflexive | Meaning shift |
|---|---|---|
| lavare (to wash) | lavarsi | to wash oneself |
| alzare (to lift / raise) | alzarsi | to get up |
| vestire (to dress someone) | vestirsi | to get dressed |
| divertire (to amuse) | divertirsi | to have fun |
| chiamare (to call) | chiamarsi | to be called / named |
| svegliare (to wake someone) | svegliarsi | to wake up |
Notice how in several cases the English equivalent has no reflexive pronoun at all. I get up — not I get myself up. I wake up — not I wake myself up. This is the gap learners must close: where English drops the reflexive idea entirely, Italian still requires the pronoun.
The six reflexive pronouns
There is one reflexive pronoun for each grammatical person, and they precede the conjugated verb.
| Person | Pronoun | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| io | mi | myself |
| tu | ti | yourself |
| lui / lei / Lei | si | himself / herself / yourself (formal) |
| noi | ci | ourselves |
| voi | vi | yourselves |
| loro | si | themselves |
The pronoun must agree with the subject: io mi lavo (never io ti lavo, which would mean "I wash you" — a different construction entirely).
Conjugating a reflexive verb: lavarsi
To conjugate, drop the -si to recover the underlying verb (lavare), conjugate it normally, and place the matching reflexive pronoun in front. The pronoun is a separate word in the present tense — not attached to the verb.
| Person | Pronoun | Verb form | Full conjugation |
|---|---|---|---|
| io | mi | lavo | mi lavo |
| tu | ti | lavi | ti lavi |
| lui / lei | si | lava | si lava |
| noi | ci | laviamo | ci laviamo |
| voi | vi | lavate | vi lavate |
| loro | si | lavano | si lavano |
Mi lavo i denti dopo ogni pasto.
I brush my teeth after every meal.
A che ora ti svegli di solito?
What time do you usually wake up?
Marco si alza sempre tardi la domenica.
Marco always gets up late on Sundays.
Ci vediamo davanti al cinema alle otto.
We'll meet in front of the cinema at eight.
Vi divertite alle feste di Luca?
Do you guys have fun at Luca's parties?
I bambini si vestono da soli ormai.
The kids dress themselves on their own now.
Why so many reflexives in Italian?
The Italian reflexive system covers four overlapping kinds of situation, each treated in its own page:
True reflexives — the subject genuinely acts on themselves: mi lavo (I wash myself), si pettina (he combs his hair). More on true reflexives.
Reciprocals — two or more subjects act on each other: ci telefoniamo ogni giorno (we call each other every day), si abbracciano (they hug). More on reciprocals.
Pronominal verbs (lexicalized reflexives) — the verb only exists in reflexive form, with no genuine "self" meaning: mi accorgo (I notice/realize), si pente (he regrets). More on pronominal verbs.
Verbs whose meaning shifts — adding -si changes what the verb means, often adding personal involvement or completion: aspetto un treno (I'm waiting for a train) vs mi aspetto un disastro (I expect a disaster). More on meaning changes.
Compound tenses: ALL reflexive verbs take essere
This is the single most important rule about reflexive verbs in compound tenses (passato prossimo, trapassato prossimo, etc.):
Every reflexive verb — without exception — uses essere as its auxiliary. Even when the underlying non-reflexive verb takes avere.
| Verb | Compound auxiliary |
|---|---|
| lavare (to wash someone/something) | avere → ho lavato la macchina |
| lavarsi (to wash oneself) | essere → mi sono lavato |
| vedere (to see someone) | avere → ho visto Marco |
| vedersi (to see each other) | essere → ci siamo visti |
Because the auxiliary is essere, the past participle agrees with the subject in gender and number — just as it does for any essere verb.
Mi sono alzata alle sei stamattina.
I (female) got up at six this morning.
Marco si è arrabbiato quando ha visto il conto.
Marco got angry when he saw the bill.
Le mie sorelle si sono divertite tantissimo al concerto.
My sisters had a great time at the concert.
Ci siamo conosciuti all'università.
We met at university.
For the full discussion of why reflexives all take essere, see essere or avere: choosing the auxiliary.
Pronoun placement: before finite verbs, attached to non-finite
The default position of the reflexive pronoun is immediately before the conjugated verb: mi lavo, ti vesti, si alza. But when the verb is in a non-finite form — infinitive, gerund, or imperative (informal) — the pronoun attaches to the end as a single word.
Voglio alzarmi presto domani.
I want to get up early tomorrow.
Stiamo divertendoci molto qui.
We're having a lot of fun here.
Lavati le mani prima di mangiare!
Wash your hands before eating!
With modal verbs (volere, potere, dovere) followed by a reflexive infinitive, both placements are correct: mi voglio alzare or voglio alzarmi. They mean exactly the same thing; both are perfectly natural in modern Italian.
Mi devo svegliare alle cinque.
I have to wake up at five.
Devo svegliarmi alle cinque.
I have to wake up at five. (same meaning)
Reflexive vs. non-reflexive: the same verb, different actions
Many verbs exist in both a non-reflexive and a reflexive version. The distinction is usually clear: the non-reflexive takes an external object, the reflexive turns the action back on the subject.
Lavo il cane il sabato.
I wash the dog on Saturdays. (non-reflexive — object is the dog)
Mi lavo prima di andare a letto.
I wash myself before going to bed. (reflexive — object is me)
La mamma sveglia i bambini alle sette.
Mom wakes the children up at seven. (non-reflexive)
I bambini si svegliano da soli il sabato.
The kids wake up on their own on Saturdays. (reflexive)
Common mistakes
❌ Io lavo ogni mattina.
Incorrect — without the reflexive pronoun, this means 'I wash (something/someone)' and feels grammatically incomplete to an Italian ear.
✅ Io mi lavo ogni mattina.
Correct — Italian requires the reflexive pronoun even when English drops it.
❌ Lui ti alza alle sette.
Incorrect — pronoun mismatch. 'Ti' refers to 'tu', so this would mean 'he gets you up at seven'.
✅ Lui si alza alle sette.
Correct — the pronoun must match the subject (lui → si).
❌ Ho mi alzato alle sei.
Incorrect — reflexives take essere in compound tenses, not avere.
✅ Mi sono alzato alle sei.
Correct — every reflexive takes essere; the pronoun stays before the auxiliary.
❌ Sono mi alzato presto.
Incorrect word order — the reflexive pronoun precedes the auxiliary, not follows it.
✅ Mi sono alzato presto.
Correct — pronoun first, then the conjugated essere.
❌ Mi sono alzato (said by a woman).
Incorrect — with essere, the participle must agree in gender.
✅ Mi sono alzata (said by a woman).
Correct — feminine -a ending agrees with the female subject.
Key takeaways
Three points to internalize before moving on:
The reflexive pronoun is mandatory wherever Italian uses a reflexive verb — even when English uses no pronoun. Mi alzo, never just alzo, for "I get up."
The pronoun must match the subject: mi with io, ti with tu, si with lui/lei/loro, ci with noi, vi with voi.
All reflexives take essere in compound tenses, with the participle agreeing in gender and number with the subject.
Now move on to the four kinds of reflexive in turn: true reflexives, reciprocals, pronominal verbs, and verbs whose meaning changes with -si.
Now practice Italian
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Open the Italian course →Related Topics
- True Reflexive VerbsA1 — When the subject genuinely acts on themselves — daily routine, body parts, and the elegant way Italian handles 'my hair, my hands, my face' without ever saying 'my'.
- Reciprocal Verbs (Each Other)A2 — How Italian uses the reflexive pronouns ci, vi, and si to express mutual action — and how to disambiguate 'they wash themselves' from 'they wash each other'.
- Pronominal Verbs (Lexicalized Reflexives)A2 — Italian verbs that look reflexive but aren't really — the -si is part of the dictionary form, with no 'self' meaning at all. The category covers emotions, life changes, and many of the most common verbs in the language.
- Verbs Whose Meaning Changes with ReflexiveB1 — Adding -si to certain Italian verbs doesn't make them reflexive in the literal sense — it shifts their meaning. The reflexive often adds personal involvement, intentional commitment, or completion. A productive pattern that will surprise you in real conversation.
- Presente Indicativo: OverviewA1 — How Italian's most-used tense covers everything English splits between simple present and present progressive — and why 'sto facendo' is not the default.