Pronominal verbs in the passé composé (and all other compound tenses) take être as their auxiliary. So far, predictable. But where ordinary être-verbs — aller, venir, arriver, partir — agree their past participle with the subject (elle est partie), pronominal verbs do something subtler. The agreement rule is: the past participle agrees with a preceding direct object. Most of the time, that direct object is the reflexive pronoun, and the result looks like subject agreement. But for an important category of verbs, the reflexive pronoun is an indirect object — and then there is no agreement at all.
This page lays out the rule, walks through the categories, and equips you to handle the main cases that confuse learners: verbs taking à quelqu'un, body-part constructions, and the subset of meaning-shift pronominals.
The general rule
A pronominal verb's past participle agrees in gender and number with a preceding direct object. The candidate "preceding direct object" is almost always the reflexive pronoun (me, te, se, nous, vous). The question to ask each time is:
Is the reflexive pronoun functioning as a direct object in this sentence?
If yes → agreement with the subject (because the reflexive pronoun matches the subject's gender and number).
If no → no agreement.
To determine if the pronoun is a direct object, ask: what verb does this lexical verb take, and what role does the se play? Does the verb take a direct object (no preposition between verb and object) or an indirect object (with à)?
Case 1: Reflexive pronoun is the direct object → agreement
This is the default for most reflexive verbs proper (grooming, body actions) and for many reciprocal verbs.
Elle s'est levée à six heures du matin.
She got up at six in the morning. (lever quelqu'un — DO; se = la; agreement)
Ils se sont rencontrés en 2010 à Lyon.
They met (each other) in 2010 in Lyon. (rencontrer quelqu'un — DO; agreement masc. pl.)
Elles se sont vues plusieurs fois cette semaine.
They saw each other several times this week. (voir quelqu'un — DO; agreement fem. pl.)
Marie s'est habillée en cinq minutes.
Marie got dressed in five minutes. (habiller quelqu'un — DO)
Pierre s'est rasé avant de partir au bureau.
Pierre shaved before leaving for the office. (raser quelqu'un — DO; agreement masc. sg., silent in writing)
Nous nous sommes promenés au bord du lac.
We took a walk by the lake.
In these sentences, se (or me, te, nous, vous) is the direct object of the verb — the person being raised, met, seen, dressed, shaved, walked. The agreement on the past participle visually matches the subject because the reflexive pronoun shares its gender and number.
Case 2: Reflexive pronoun is the indirect object → no agreement
A surprising number of common verbs take an indirect object (à quelqu'un) rather than a direct object. When these verbs go pronominal, the reflexive pronoun fills the indirect-object slot, so the rule says no agreement.
The verbs to memorize:
| Verb | Construction | Pronominal example |
|---|---|---|
| parler | parler à quelqu'un | Ils se sont parlé. |
| dire | dire à quelqu'un | Elle s'est dit que... |
| demander | demander à quelqu'un | Elle s'est demandé pourquoi. |
| écrire | écrire à quelqu'un | Elles se sont écrit. |
| téléphoner | téléphoner à quelqu'un | Ils se sont téléphoné. |
| sourire | sourire à quelqu'un | Elles se sont souri. |
| plaire | plaire à quelqu'un | Ils se sont plu. |
| ressembler | ressembler à quelqu'un | Elles se sont ressemblé. |
| mentir | mentir à quelqu'un | Ils se sont menti. |
| nuire | nuire à quelqu'un | Ils se sont nui. |
| répondre | répondre à quelqu'un | Ils se sont répondu. |
| succéder | succéder à quelqu'un | Ils se sont succédé. |
Ils se sont parlé pendant deux heures au téléphone.
They talked to each other for two hours on the phone. (parler À — IO; no agreement on parlé)
Elles se sont écrit toutes les semaines pendant la guerre.
They wrote each other every week during the war. (écrire À — IO; no agreement)
Marie et sa mère se sont téléphoné hier soir.
Marie and her mother phoned each other last night. (téléphoner À — IO)
Elle s'est dit qu'il valait mieux partir.
She said to herself that it was better to leave. (dire À — IO; se = à elle-même)
Je me suis demandé si c'était une bonne idée.
I wondered if it was a good idea. (demander À — IO)
Les frères et sœurs se sont ressemblé pendant toute leur enfance.
The brothers and sisters resembled each other throughout their childhood. (ressembler À — IO)
Les présidents se sont succédé sans interruption pendant un siècle.
The presidents succeeded one another without interruption for a century. (succéder À — IO)
The diagnostic in action: take any sentence with se sont. Mentally swap the reflexive in for a real object: parler à + someone. Ask: would the equivalent non-reflexive sentence take à? If yes, then se is an indirect object, and there is no agreement.
Case 3: Body-part construction — direct object follows verb, no agreement
When a reflexive sentence has a body part as the explicit direct object after the verb, the reflexive pronoun shifts to the indirect-object role (à elle-même — to herself), and the past participle does not agree.
Elle s'est lavé les mains avant de manger.
She washed her hands before eating. (les mains is DO; se is IO 'à elle-même'; no agreement on lavé)
Il s'est cassé la jambe en faisant du ski.
He broke his leg skiing. (la jambe is DO; no agreement on cassé)
Elle s'est brossé les dents trois fois aujourd'hui.
She brushed her teeth three times today. (les dents is DO; no agreement on brossé)
Marie s'est coupé le doigt en préparant le dîner.
Marie cut her finger making dinner. (le doigt is DO; no agreement)
The logic: with a body part as DO, the structure is "she washed [the hands] [to herself]" — the hands are what got washed, and se indicates whose. The DO slot is occupied by les mains, not by se; therefore se is the IO, and no agreement appears on lavé.
The exception: when the body part precedes the verb
If, by way of relativization or fronting, the body part precedes the verb, agreement is triggered:
Les mains qu'elle s'est lavées étaient sales.
The hands she washed were dirty. (qu' = les mains, fronted; agreement on lavées)
Quelle jambe s'est-il cassée ?
Which leg did he break? (quelle jambe is fronted; agreement on cassée)
This is the general agreement rule for avoir verbs (and now applied here): a preceding direct object triggers agreement on the past participle. When the DO body part comes after the verb, no agreement; when it comes before, agreement applies.
Case 4: Essentially pronominal verbs → agreement with the subject
For verbs that exist only in pronominal form (se souvenir, se moquer, s'évanouir, se taire, etc. — see Verbes Essentiellement Pronominaux), the reflexive pronoun has no separable function. Convention treats it as a fossilized part of the verb, and the past participle agrees with the subject.
Elle s'est évanouie au milieu de la cérémonie.
She fainted in the middle of the ceremony. (s'évanouir → évanouie, fem. sg.)
Ils se sont enfuis avant l'arrivée de la police.
They fled before the police arrived. (s'enfuir → enfuis, masc. pl.)
Elles se sont moquées de lui pendant des heures.
They made fun of him for hours. (se moquer → moquées, fem. pl.)
Nous nous sommes dépêchés pour ne pas rater le train.
We hurried so as not to miss the train. (se dépêcher → dépêchés)
La porte s'est ouverte d'un coup.
The door opened all of a sudden. (s'ouvrir intransitive → ouverte, fem. sg.)
Les enfants se sont tus quand le maître est entré.
The children fell silent when the teacher came in. (se taire → tus, masc. pl.)
The historical exception that all French textbooks teach is se rire de (laugh at), where the participle stays invariable: Elles se sont ri de lui. This is mostly a grammatical curiosity in modern French — se rire is rare and literary — but it appears in advanced exams.
Case 5: Pronominal passive → agreement with the subject
For the pronominal passive (see Le Pronominal à Sens Passif), the participle agrees with the subject — which is also the patient of the action.
Ces livres se sont vendus à plus d'un million d'exemplaires.
These books sold more than a million copies. (vendus, masc. pl.)
La rumeur s'est répandue très vite dans le village.
The rumor spread very fast in the village. (répandue, fem. sg.)
Les portes du musée se sont ouvertes à dix heures pile.
The museum doors opened at exactly ten. (ouvertes, fem. pl.)
This is consistent with Case 4: the se doesn't have a separable role here either, so agreement defaults to the subject.
A worked example: comparing similar sentences
Look at how small changes in the sentence change whether agreement applies:
| Sentence | Analysis | Agreement |
|---|---|---|
| Elle s'est lavée. | laver qqn — DO is se | Yes — lavée (fem.) |
| Elle s'est lavé les mains. | laver qqn qch — les mains is DO | No — lavé (no agreement) |
| Les mains qu'elle s'est lavées | les mains fronted — preceding DO | Yes — lavées (fem. pl.) |
| Ils se sont vus. | voir qqn — DO is se | Yes — vus (masc. pl.) |
| Ils se sont parlé. | parler à qqn — IO | No — parlé |
| Elle s'est évanouie. | essentially pronominal | Yes — évanouie (fem.) |
| Ces livres se sont bien vendus. | pronominal passive | Yes — vendus (masc. pl.) |
A note on pronunciation
For most past participles ending in -é, -i, or -u, agreement is silent — lavé and lavée sound identical, vu and vue sound identical. Agreement matters in writing, but not in speech.
For participles ending in a consonant — fait, dit, écrit, mis, pris, ouvert, mort — the agreement is often audible because the feminine ending exposes a final consonant sound that was silent in the masculine form:
- fait /fɛ/ → faite /fɛt/
- écrit /ekʁi/ → écrite /ekʁit/
- mis /mi/ → mise /miz/
- ouvert /uvɛʁ/ → ouverte /uvɛʁt/
So even native speakers think about agreement in these cases when speaking — you can hear the difference.
Elle s'est mise à pleurer dès qu'elle a vu la photo.
She started crying as soon as she saw the photo. (mise audible: /miz/)
Les portes se sont ouvertes automatiquement.
The doors opened automatically. (ouvertes audible: /uvɛʁt/)
Source-language note: why English speakers struggle
English doesn't have past participle agreement at all. Done, seen, wanted — the past participle is invariant regardless of subject or object gender. So English speakers learning French face a triple challenge with pronominal agreement:
- They have to remember that compound tenses of pronominal verbs use être, not avoir.
- They have to remember that the agreement rule is different from regular être-verbs (where it's just subject agreement).
- They have to determine, for each verb, whether the reflexive pronoun is a direct or indirect object — which requires knowing the verb's argument structure.
The good news: most native speakers do not get this perfectly right in spontaneous speech, especially for the IO cases. Elles se sont parlé (correct) and elles se sont parlées (technically wrong) are not always distinguishable in pronunciation, and the spoken language sometimes drifts toward agreement everywhere by analogy. For learners, the priority is reading and writing — recognize the rule when you encounter it and apply it in formal writing. In speech, focus on choosing the right verb and tense, and let the agreement details settle as your fluency grows.
Common Mistakes
Mistake 1: Adding agreement when the verb takes à quelqu'un.
❌ Elles se sont parlées pendant deux heures.
Wrong: parler takes à, so 'se' is indirect — no agreement on parlé.
✅ Elles se sont parlé pendant deux heures.
They spoke to each other for two hours.
Mistake 2: Adding agreement in body-part constructions.
❌ Elle s'est lavée les mains.
Wrong: 'les mains' is the direct object of laver; 'se' is indirect (à elle-même). No agreement on lavé.
✅ Elle s'est lavé les mains.
She washed her hands.
Mistake 3: Forgetting agreement when the body part precedes.
❌ Les mains qu'elle s'est lavé étaient sales.
Wrong: 'les mains' is now a preceding direct object — agreement on lavées.
✅ Les mains qu'elle s'est lavées étaient sales.
The hands she'd washed were dirty.
Mistake 4: Forgetting agreement on essentially pronominal verbs.
❌ Elles se sont évanoui en plein concert.
Wrong: s'évanouir is essentially pronominal — past participle agrees with the (feminine plural) subject.
✅ Elles se sont évanouies en plein concert.
They fainted in the middle of the concert.
Mistake 5: Using avoir instead of être for pronominal verbs.
❌ Elle a se lavée.
Wrong: pronominal verbs always take être, not avoir, in compound tenses.
✅ Elle s'est lavée.
She washed (herself).
Key takeaways
- All pronominal verbs use être in compound tenses.
- The agreement rule: past participle agrees with a preceding direct object, which is usually the reflexive pronoun.
- Ask: does the lexical verb take a direct object or an indirect object (à quelqu'un)? If direct → se is DO → agreement. If indirect → se is IO → no agreement.
- The IO-verb set to memorize: parler, dire, demander, écrire, téléphoner, sourire, plaire, ressembler, mentir, nuire, répondre, succéder. All take à quelqu'un and trigger no agreement.
- Body parts as DO trigger no agreement on the participle (elle s'est lavé les mains) — but only when they follow the verb. Fronted body parts trigger agreement (les mains qu'elle s'est lavées).
- Essentially pronominal verbs (se souvenir, se moquer, s'évanouir, se taire) and the pronominal passive simply agree with the subject.
- Priority: get this right in writing and reading; allow yourself room in speech.
Now practice French
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Start learning French→Related Topics
- Verbes Pronominaux: OverviewA2 — French pronominal (reflexive) verbs use a pronoun matching the subject — me, te, se, nous, vous, se. They cover four functions: true reflexive, reciprocal, intrinsic, and passive. All pronominal verbs use être in compound tenses.
- Verbes Pronominaux Réciproques: action mutuelleA2 — Reciprocal pronominals express 'each other' or 'one another' — actions that plural subjects do mutually. The same little 'se' that marks reflexive verbs also carries the reciprocal load, with 'l'un l'autre' available when you need to remove ambiguity.
- Verbes Essentiellement PronominauxA2 — Some French verbs always carry a reflexive pronoun even when there is no reflexive meaning at all — *se souvenir*, *se moquer*, *s'évanouir*, *se taire*. The 'se' is part of the verb's lexical entry. A second category of verbs has both pronominal and non-pronominal forms with completely different meanings.
- L'Accord du Participe Passé avec ÊtreA2 — How to make the past participle agree with the subject when the auxiliary is être — gender, number, the masculine-default for mixed groups, the on-puzzle, and where the agreement is silent vs. audible.
- Se as Direct vs Indirect Object: Why Past-Participle Agreement Sometimes DisappearsB1 — The reflexive pronoun se can be a direct object (elle s'est lavée — agreement) or an indirect object (elle s'est parlé — no agreement). Knowing which it is means asking what preposition the underlying verb takes.