Breakdown of Para cuidar la relación con mi hermana, debo escuchar más y quejarme menos.
Questions & Answers about Para cuidar la relación con mi hermana, debo escuchar más y quejarme menos.
No. In this sentence, para + infinitive expresses purpose and is essential:
- Para cuidar la relación con mi hermana, debo…
= In order to take care of the relationship with my sister, I must…
Para + infinitive often corresponds to English “to / in order to + verb” when you mean for the purpose of:
- Para aprender español, leo mucho.
To / In order to learn Spanish, I read a lot.
If you remove para, you just get a bare infinitive clause at the beginning, which sounds wrong in Spanish here. So you need para to introduce the idea of purpose.
You could rephrase the sentence differently:
- Debo escuchar más y quejarme menos para cuidar la relación con mi hermana.
But you still keep para before cuidar.
All three exist, but they’re used a bit differently:
cuidar + direct object
- Very common and perfectly natural here.
- Means to look after / to take care of / to maintain something or someone.
Examples:
- Cuidar la salud – to take care of (one’s) health
- Cuidar la relación – to take care of the relationship
cuidar de + noun
- Also means to take care of, but often sounds a touch more formal or old‑fashioned in some contexts.
- In Spain, cuidar de is frequent when talking about looking after people or living beings, or when the focus is more on the responsibility itself.
Examples:
- Cuidar de los niños – to look after the children
- Cuidar de un enfermo – to take care of a sick person
You can say cuidar de la relación, but cuidar la relación is more direct and more usual here.
cuidar a + person
- Common in many varieties of Spanish, especially with people and animals as direct objects.
Examples:
- Cuidar a mi hermana – to look after my sister
- Cuidar a los ancianos – to take care of the elderly
In your sentence the object is an abstract thing (la relación), so cuidar la relación (direct object, without de) is the most natural choice.
All three are possible, but they have slightly different nuances:
la relación con mi hermana
- Uses the definite article la: the relationship with my sister.
- Focuses on that specific relationship as a known thing between two people.
- Very natural in Spanish when you mean “the relationship (we have)” without stressing whose it is.
mi relación con mi hermana
- Adds mi, so it explicitly highlights that you are talking about your relationship (from your point of view).
- Slightly more personal or subjective: my relationship with my sister.
relación con mi hermana (without article)
- Feels incomplete or unnatural here. Spanish tends to use an article (la) with a specific, concrete relationship.
In everyday Spanish, la relación con mi hermana sounds completely normal and idiomatic.
Because we’re talking about a relationship with someone, not belonging to someone.
- relación con alguien = relationship with someone
- de would sound like “the relationship of my sister” (as if you were talking about something that belongs to her).
Correct patterns:
- Tengo una buena relación con mi hermana.
- La relación con mi jefe es complicada.
Using con after relación is the standard way to say “relationship with (a person).”
All three express obligation or necessity, but with different nuances:
debo (+ infinitive)
- From deber = must / ought to / should (stronger).
- Often has a moral or internal sense of obligation: I really should; I feel I must.
In your sentence:
- debo escuchar más y quejarme menos ≈ I must / I really ought to listen more and complain less.
tengo que (+ infinitive)
More neutral, everyday “have to”: external or practical obligation.
Tengo que escuchar más y quejarme menos.
= I have to listen more and complain less. (could be self‑imposed but sounds a bit more matter‑of‑fact).
debería (+ infinitive)
Conditional form = should (softer, more advisory, less strict).
Debería escuchar más y quejarme menos.
= I should listen more and complain less. (a suggestion to self, not as strong as debo).
In Peninsular Spanish, debo sounds like a clear, somewhat serious personal obligation; tengo que is more neutral; debería is more like a recommendation.
Spanish makes a similar distinction to English between hearing and listening:
oír = to hear (perceive sounds, more passive)
- No te oigo. – I can’t hear you.
- Oí un ruido raro. – I heard a strange noise.
escuchar = to listen (to) (active attention)
- Debes escuchar a tu hermana. – You must listen to your sister.
- Escucho música. – I listen to music.
In the sentence, you don’t just want to hear your sister’s voice; you want to listen to her actively. That’s why escuchar is used.
Quejarse is a reflexive verb in Spanish. The standard way to say “to complain” is:
- quejarse (de algo / de alguien) – to complain (about something / about someone)
Conjugation examples:
- Yo me quejo – I complain
- Tú te quejas – You complain
- Él se queja – He complains
When using an infinitive, you attach the appropriate reflexive pronoun:
- quejarse – to complain
- quejarme – to complain (I)
- quejarte – to complain (you)
- quejarse – to complain (he/she/they formal)
- quejarnos, quejaros, etc.
In your sentence:
- debo… quejarme menos
- debo is conjugated for yo (I)
- so the reflexive pronoun must also match yo → me
- and with an infinitive, it’s attached at the end → quejarme
Using plain quejar (without se / me / te etc.) is basically incorrect in the meaning “to complain” in everyday language. Quejar on its own only appears in some very specific, mostly legal or technical uses.
Spanish has clear rules for where pronouns go:
Before a conjugated verb
- Me quejo – I complain
- No me quiero quejar. – I don’t want to complain.
Attached to the end of:
- an infinitive
- a gerund (-ando / -iendo form)
- a positive command
Examples:
- No quiero quejarme. – I don’t want to complain.
- Estoy quejándome demasiado. – I am complaining too much.
- Cállate. – Be quiet.
In your sentence, quejarme is an infinitive (because it depends on debo: I must complain less), so the reflexive pronoun is correctly attached at the end: quejarme, not me quejar.
If you changed the structure to a normal conjugated verb, then the pronoun would go before it:
- Me quejo demasiado. – I complain too much.
Literally:
- quejarme menos = to complain less
Nothing is grammatically missing. Often, quejarse appears as quejarse de algo / de alguien (to complain about something / someone), but if the context is clear, you can just say:
- Quejarme menos – complain less (in general).
So the structure is:
- escuchar más – listen more
- y quejarme menos – and complain less
Both más and menos are adverbs here modifying the verbs escuchar and quejarme.
Because the first part of the sentence is a purpose clause that comes before the main clause:
- Para cuidar la relación con mi hermana,
debo escuchar más y quejarme menos.
In Spanish, when you start a sentence with a subordinate clause (time, condition, purpose, etc.), it’s standard to put a comma before the main clause.
Compare:
- Cuando tenga tiempo, te llamo. – When I have time, I’ll call you.
- Si llueve, no salimos. – If it rains, we don’t go out.
- Para aprobar el examen, tengo que estudiar. – To pass the exam, I have to study.
If you put the main clause first, the comma is usually not needed:
- Debo escuchar más y quejarme menos para cuidar la relación con mi hermana.
Yes, both are grammatically correct; they just slightly change the tone:
Para cuidar la relación con mi hermana, tengo que escuchar más y quejarme menos.
- Very natural, neutral obligation:
To take care of the relationship with my sister, I have to listen more and complain less.
- Very natural, neutral obligation:
Para cuidar la relación con mi hermana, debería escuchar más y quejarme menos.
- Sounds like advice to yourself:
To take care of the relationship with my sister, I should listen more and complain less.
- Sounds like advice to yourself:
Para cuidar la relación con mi hermana, debo escuchar más y quejarme menos.
- Slightly stronger, more “I really must / I ought to”, with a bit of moral weight.
All three work in Spain; choice depends on how strong you want the obligation to sound.
Más and menos here are adverbs meaning more and less, modifying the verbs:
- escuchar más – to listen more
- quejarme menos – to complain less
Spanish (like English) often avoids repeating already mentioned verbs:
- Debo escuchar más y (debo) quejarme menos.
- Quiero comer más y (quiero) dormir menos.
The omitted parts are understood from context, so you only say debo once and then just escuchar más y quejarme menos. This is normal coordination and not considered incomplete.
The sentence is perfectly natural in Spain Spanish, but it’s also fully understandable and acceptable in Latin American Spanish.
- Para cuidar la relación con mi hermana, debo escuchar más y quejarme menos.
All the vocabulary (cuidar, relación, hermana, debo, escuchar, quejarme, más, menos) is standard and used across the Spanish‑speaking world.
Regional alternatives would be more about style than correctness (for example, some areas might say tengo que more often than debo in everyday speech), but your original sentence works everywhere.