Learn Hardcore Japanese: wakareta aite ni site ha, ima demo tokidoki renraku ga kuru node sukosi husigi desu. - For someone I broke up with, it’s a bit strange that they still contact me sometimes.

にしては is a set grammar pattern meaning “for (someone/something)…; considering (that)…; for the situation that…” It’s used when the reality is different from what you would normally expect.

別れた相手にしては
→ For someone I’ve broken up with / considering that they’re an ex-partner

So the sentence is basically:

別れた相手にしては
For someone I’ve broken up with,
今でも時々連絡が来るので少し不思議です。
it’s a bit strange, because I still sometimes hear from them even now.

The key nuance is expectation vs reality:
For an ex, you’d expect not to keep getting contact, but you do, so it feels strange.

Is 別れた相手 a complete clause? How does 別れた work in front of 相手?

別れた相手 is a relative clause: a verb phrase modifying a noun.

別れた = (someone I) broke up with (past tense verb)
相手 = partner / the other person / counterpart

So 別れた相手 literally means “the person (I) broke up with”, i.e. “my ex”.

Japanese often puts a whole verb phrase directly in front of a noun to describe it:

昨日会った人 = the person (I) met yesterday
子どもの頃住んでいた町 = the town (I) lived in as a child
別れた相手 = the person (I) broke up with

There is no explicit “I” or “with”, but they’re understood from context.

What exactly does 相手 mean here? Why not 彼氏 or 彼女?

相手 literally means “the other side/person” (the person you’re dealing with). It’s a broad, somewhat neutral word and can refer to:

a romantic partner
an opponent (in sports, games, arguments)
a counterpart in some interaction

In this context, 別れた相手 most naturally suggests an ex romantic partner, but it’s slightly indirect and less emotionally loaded than 元彼 / 元カノ or just 彼氏 / 彼女.

So 相手 here is like saying “the person I broke up with” rather than explicitly “my ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend”.

Is に attached to 相手 or to しては? Is にしては one grammar unit?

Here にしては should be understood as one fixed grammar pattern.

Grammatically, it’s:

(noun) + にしては
→ 別れた相手 + にしては

So you don’t parse it as 相手に + しては; you parse it as 相手にしては = “for someone who is my ex” / “considering they’re my ex”.

You can use にしては with:

Noun:
子どもにしてはよく我慢した。
For a child, (he/she) held out well.
Plain form clause (less common; more limited):
彼は初心者だというにしては上手だ。
Considering they say he’s a beginner, he’s good.

In your sentence, just remember 別れた相手にしては is one chunk.

Who is actually doing the contacting in 連絡が来る? Why is が used?

Literally, 連絡が来る means “(a) contact comes”.
Grammatically:

連絡 = contact (a call, message, email, etc.)
が = marks 連絡 as the subject
来る = to come

So the grammatical subject is 連絡, not the ex-partner. The idea is:

(From that person,) contact comes (to me).

The person sending the contact is omitted because it’s obvious from context (別れた相手). This type of phrasing is very common in Japanese:

メールが来た。 = An email came → I got an email.
電話が来なかった。 = A phone call didn’t come → I didn’t get a call.

が is correct because it marks what comes; you wouldn’t use を here.

Why 連絡が来る instead of 連絡する? What’s the difference?

連絡する = to contact (someone)
- 私が彼に連絡する。 = I contact him.
連絡が来る = (some) contact comes (to me) → I receive contact / I hear from someone.

So the direction and perspective are different:

連絡する focuses on the person doing the contacting.
連絡が来る focuses on the speaker receiving the contact.

In your sentence:

今でも時々連絡が来る
→ Even now, I sometimes get contacted / I still sometimes hear from them.

The speaker is emphasizing their experience as the receiver, which matches the feeling of “It’s a bit strange (for me)” more naturally than focusing on what the ex does.

You could also say:

今でも時々連絡してきます。
→ They still sometimes contact me.

This is also natural, but 連絡が来る is a very common, slightly impersonal way to say it.

What does 今でも mean exactly? What does でも add to 今?

今 = now
でも (in this usage) = “even” / “still (even now)”

So 今でも means “even now; still now”, with the nuance:

In spite of everything that has happened since then, even now this is still true.

Here, it emphasizes that despite having broken up, the situation (getting contact) continues into the present.

Compare:

今も = now also / now too (neutral “also”)
今でも = even now (stronger sense that it’s surprising or notable that it’s still true)

Given the context of a breakup, 今でも nicely conveys that sense of “still, after all this time.”

Could you use まだ instead of 今でも? What’s the difference?

You could say まだ時々連絡が来る, but the nuance shifts:

まだ = still (hasn’t stopped yet), often with an implicit idea that you might expect it to stop at some point, or that it’s continuing longer than expected.
今でも = even now; highlights that from past up to the present, this situation remains, with a subtle “despite X, even now” feeling.

In this sentence:

今でも時々連絡が来る
→ Neutral/softly surprised: Even now, I still sometimes hear from them.
まだ時々連絡が来る
→ Slightly more “it’s still going on (kinda lingering)”.
Depending on tone, it can sound more like you think it should have stopped by now.

Both are understandable, but 今でも is a bit more natural and emotionally balanced here.

Why is ので used here instead of から? Is there a nuance difference?

Both ので and から can mean “because/since”, but:

ので is typically softer, more formal / polite, and presents the reason more objectively.
から can feel a bit more direct or personal and is more common in casual speech.

In:

今でも時々連絡が来るので少し不思議です。
→ It’s a bit strange *because I still sometimes hear from them even now.*

Using ので fits the overall polite tone (です) and makes the statement sound like a calm observation rather than a strong claim.

You could say:

…連絡が来るから少し不思議です。

This is not wrong, but it feels a little more everyday / casual and a touch more subjective.

What part of speech is 不思議 here? Why 少し不思議です and not something like 少し変です?

不思議 is a na-adjective (形容動詞) that can also function as a noun. Here it’s used adjectivally:

不思議（な） = mysterious, strange, hard to explain
少し不思議です。 = It’s a little strange / a bit mysterious.

不思議 often suggests something is odd in an intriguing or unexpected way, not necessarily bad.

変 is also “strange,” but it usually feels more direct and casual, sometimes with a stronger negative tone:

少し変です。 = It’s kind of weird / odd. (can sound more blunt)

So:

少し不思議です。
→ Polite, slightly softer, “It’s a bit curious / puzzling.”

This matches the reflective, polite style of the sentence. Grammatically, it’s:

少し (adverb, “a little”) + 不思議 (na-adjective root) + です (copula).

Is the sentence overall polite or casual? How would it look in casual speech?

Because it ends in です, the sentence is in polite form:

別れた相手にしては、今でも時々連絡が来るので少し不思議です。

In casual speech, you could say:

別れた相手にしては、今でも時々連絡が来るから、ちょっと不思議だ。

Changes:

ので → から (more casual)
少し → ちょっと (more casual/common in speech)
です → だ (plain form of the copula)

Both mean the same thing; the difference is just level of politeness and tone.

Could you rewrite the sentence in a more “literal” order? Is the current word order flexible?

One more literal-feeling version (with a slightly different construction) could be:

別れた相手からは、今でも時々連絡が来るので、少し不思議です。
→ From the person I broke up with, I still sometimes get contact even now, so it’s a bit strange.

Here, から explicitly marks the source:

別れた相手から = from the person I broke up with

In the original, 別れた相手にしては emphasizes “for an ex, considering they’re an ex” (expectation vs reality) rather than the simple source.

Word order in Japanese is quite flexible as long as you keep related chunks together. For example, these are all fine with slightly different emphasis:

今でも時々、別れた相手にしては連絡が来るので、少し不思議です。
別れた相手にしては、時々今でも連絡が来るので、少し不思議です。

But にしては must stay attached to 別れた相手, and 連絡が来る must stay together as a unit.