Learn Hardcore Japanese: kyonen, koibito to wakarete kara, hitori de iru zikan wo tanosimeru you ni natte kimasita. - Since breaking up with my partner last year, I’ve gradually become able to enjoy time alone.

別れた = “broke up” (simple past event)
別れたあと = “after breaking up” (focus on the time after, more neutral)
別れてから = “after/since breaking up” with a stronger sense of “from that point and continuing up to now”.

In this sentence, 別れてから nicely matches the idea that a change has continued up to the present.

Why is the particle と used in 恋人と別れて instead of 恋人を別れて?

The verb 別れる (to separate, to break up) normally takes と to mark the person you separate from:

Aさんと別れる = to break up with A / to part from A

So 恋人と別れて literally means “separating with my partner” → “breaking up with my partner”.

Using を (恋人を別れる) is ungrammatical here, because 別れる is intransitive in this sense and does not take a direct object with を.

What does 一人でいる時間 literally mean, and how is it constructed?

Breakdown:

一人 = one person
一人で = alone, by oneself (manner)
いる = to be / to exist (for people and animals)
時間 = time

いる is in plain form directly before 時間, so it functions as a relative clause:

一人でいる時間 = “the time (when I am) alone” / “time spent being by myself”.

So literally: “time (that I am) being alone,” i.e. “time alone.”

Why is で used in 一人で? Could you say 一人にいる instead?

一人で is a very common pattern:

一人で = “by oneself, alone” (describes the manner in which you do something)

Here, で marks how the action is done (manner), not a physical location.

一人にいる is not natural Japanese. に would normally mark a place (学校にいる = to be at school) or a target, but not “alone-ness” as a manner.

Some related natural expressions:

一人で過ごす = to spend time alone
一人きりでいる = to be all alone

But the basic, standard expression is 一人で.

What is the role of 時間を in this sentence? Why is 時間 marked with を?

時間 is the direct object of the verb 楽しめる:

時間を楽しめる = “(I) can enjoy the time.”

The longer noun phrase is:

一人でいる時間を楽しめる
“(I) can enjoy the time (when I am) alone.”

So を marks what is being enjoyed: the “alone time.”

Why is 楽しめる (potential form) used instead of simply 楽しむ?

楽しめる is the potential form of 楽しむ:

楽しむ = to enjoy
楽しめる = to be able to enjoy / can enjoy

Using 楽しめる here emphasizes ability or possibility that has changed:

Before: “I (couldn’t really) enjoy being alone.”
Now: “I have come to be able to enjoy being alone.”

If the sentence used 楽しむ, it would sound more like a simple statement:

一人でいる時間を楽しむようになりました。
“I came to enjoy time alone.”

That’s still okay, but 楽しめる highlights the idea of gaining the ability to enjoy it, which fits the “after breaking up, I’ve grown into this” nuance.

What does ようになってきました mean overall, and how is it different from just ようになりました?

Base pattern:

V-dictionary + ようになる = “to come to do V / to become able to do V / to end up doing V”

Here:

楽しめるようになる = “to come to be able to enjoy (it).”

Then we add 〜てくる:

なってくる = “to become (that way) over time and up to now.”

So:

楽しめるようになりました。
→ “I (have) come to be able to enjoy it.” (a change has occurred)
楽しめるようになってきました。
→ “I’ve been gradually coming to be able to enjoy it.”
(focus on the gradual progression up to the present)

〜てきました often gives a nuance of gradual change or process leading up to now, which is why it fits well here.

Can you break down 楽しめるようになってきました grammatically?

Yes, piece by piece:

楽しむ (to enjoy) → potential form 楽しめる (can enjoy)
楽しめるように
- V-dictionary + ように here means “in such a way that (I) can V” / “so that (I) can V”.
楽しめるようになる
- “to become so that (I) can enjoy it” → “to come to be able to enjoy it.”
楽しめるようになってくる
- add 〜てくる to show the change has been developing up to the present.
楽しめるようになってきました
- polite past of 〜てくる, giving something like English present perfect:
- “I have gradually come to be able to enjoy it.”

So the whole ending means “have gradually come to be able to enjoy (it).”

Who is the subject of this sentence? There is no 私, so how do we know it means “I have come to enjoy…”?

Japanese often omits the subject when it’s clear from context.

In:

去年、恋人と別れてから、一人でいる時間を楽しめるようになってきました。

there is no explicit subject, but:

It’s talking about personal emotional change.
It ends in polite form 〜ました, which sounds like the speaker talking about themselves in most contexts.

So in a typical conversation, the default interpretation is “I”:

“Since I broke up with my partner last year, I’ve gradually come to be able to enjoy time alone.”

Grammatically, it could be “he/she/they,” depending on a larger context, but in isolation English naturally picks “I.”

What nuance does 去年 have at the beginning, and could it be placed elsewhere in the sentence?

去年 = “last year,” and here it sets the time frame:

去年、恋人と別れてから…
“Last year, after breaking up with my partner, …”

By default, this is understood as: “I broke up last year; since then …”

Time expressions like 去年 are flexible. You could also say:

恋人と去年別れてから、一人でいる時間を…
恋人と別れてから、去年から、一人でいる時間を… (slightly different nuance)

Putting 去年 right at the start with a comma is very natural: it introduces “as for last year / starting last year” as the time setting for what follows.

What is the nuance of 恋人 compared with 彼女 or 彼氏?

恋人
- literally “person of romance”
- gender-neutral: can mean boyfriend, girlfriend, or romantic partner in general
- somewhat more formal / neutral
彼女 = girlfriend (also “she”)
彼氏 = boyfriend (also “he” in some casual contexts)

In this sentence, 恋人 leaves the partner’s gender unspecified and sounds a bit more neutral or general, like “romantic partner” rather than specifically “girlfriend” or “boyfriend.”

Why does the sentence end with きました (past tense), even though the situation still continues now?

In Japanese, 〜てきました often corresponds to English present perfect (“have done / have come to do”), describing a change or action up to now that usually still affects the present.

なってきました here = “has been becoming / has come to be.”

So:

楽しめるようになってきました。
literally: “It has (now) come to be that I can enjoy (it).”

Even though ました is a past form, 〜てきました naturally implies:

The change started in the past.
It has developed up to the present.
The new state (being able to enjoy time alone) still holds now.