Some Brazilian Portuguese verbs change register when you add the reflexive pronoun se — they sound a little more formal, but mean essentially the same thing. The verbs on this page are different and far more dangerous: adding se changes their meaning, sometimes completely. Lembrar without se means "to remind"; with se it means "to remember." These are not stylistic variants — they are different verbs that happen to share a stem. Treating them as interchangeable produces sentences that are not just unidiomatic but genuinely say the wrong thing. English has nothing comparable, which is exactly why these pairs are such reliable traps.
The unifying logic, where there is one, is that the se version turns the action inward onto the subject — the subject is the one experiencing the remembering, the forgetting, the resemblance — while the bare version points the action outward at an object.
lembrar — to remind vs lembrar-se de — to remember
This is the textbook case. Bare lembrar takes a direct object: you remind someone of something. Lembrar-se de turns inward: the subject does the remembering, and what is remembered is introduced by de.
Lembra o João da reunião de amanhã, por favor.
Remind João about tomorrow's meeting, please.
Eu me lembro do João da época da faculdade.
I remember João from our university days.
There is also a third, very common BR colloquial pattern: bare lembrar de without the pronoun, used to mean "remember." So you will hear all three:
| Form | Meaning | Register |
|---|---|---|
| lembrar alguém de algo | to remind someone of something | neutral |
| lembrar-se de algo | to remember something | (formal / written) |
| lembrar de algo | to remember something | (informal, very common in BR) |
Você lembra de onde a gente estacionou o carro?
Do you remember where we parked the car?
So in everyday BR, "remember" is most often lembrar de (no pronoun), and "remind" is bare lembrar with a person object plus de. The pronominal lembrar-se de survives mainly in careful, written, or formal speech.
esquecer — to leave behind vs esquecer-se de — to forget
Parallel to lembrar. Bare esquecer takes a direct object — you forget/leave something. Esquecer-se de puts the forgetting inside the subject, with the thing forgotten after de.
Ele esqueceu a chave dentro de casa de novo.
He left the key inside the house again.
Ele se esqueceu de trazer a chave.
He forgot to bring the key.
As with lembrar, colloquial BR widely collapses the distinction: Ele esqueceu de trazer a chave (bare esquecer de, no pronoun) is completely normal in speech and means "he forgot to bring the key." The pronominal esquecer-se de is the (formal) variant.
Esqueci de te avisar que a reunião mudou de horário.
I forgot to tell you the meeting time changed.
parecer — to seem vs parecer-se com — to look like
Here the meaning split is sharp and the distinction is not collapsed in colloquial speech — getting it wrong is a clear error. Bare parecer means "to seem / to appear / to look like (in the sense of 'it looks as if')." Parecer-se com means "to physically resemble," and crucially uses the preposition com, not de or a.
Parece chuva; é melhor levar o guarda-chuva.
It looks like rain; better take the umbrella.
Ele se parece muito com o pai.
He looks a lot like his father.
The bare form also works with an adjective or clause as an evidential ("it seems that…"):
Parece que vai dar tudo certo no fim.
It seems like everything's going to work out in the end.
So parece + noun/clause = "it seems / it looks like [a situation]," while parecer-se com + person/thing = "X resembles Y in appearance." Mixing them up — saying Ele parece o pai for "he looks like his dad" — is understandable but reads as a learner error in careful BR; you want Ele se parece com o pai.
encontrar — to find / to run into vs encontrar-se com — to meet (by arrangement)
Bare encontrar means "to find" (locate something) or "to run into / bump into" (an unplanned meeting). Encontrar-se com means "to meet up with" by arrangement — a planned rendezvous — and again takes com.
Finalmente encontrei as chaves embaixo do sofá.
I finally found the keys under the couch.
Encontrei o Pedro no mercado por acaso ontem.
I ran into Pedro at the market by chance yesterday.
Vou me encontrar com a Ana às três para discutir o projeto.
I'm going to meet (up with) Ana at three to discuss the project.
The contrast is accidental vs arranged: bare encontrar (with or without com) for unplanned encounters and for finding things; encontrar-se com for a scheduled meeting. In practice BR also uses bare encontrar com alguém for chance meetings, so the pronoun is the clearest signal of intentionality.
A few more worth knowing
The pattern extends to other verbs. A short reference:
| Bare verb | Meaning | With se | Meaning |
|---|---|---|---|
| referir algo | to report / relate something | referir-se a | to refer to |
| negar algo | to deny something | negar-se a | to refuse to |
| despedir alguém | to fire someone | despedir-se de | to say goodbye to |
| achar algo | to find / to think | achar-se | to consider oneself / be conceited |
O chefe despediu três funcionários ontem.
The boss fired three employees yesterday.
Ele se despediu de todos e foi embora.
He said goodbye to everyone and left.
Why English has no equivalent — and why that hurts
English marks none of these distinctions with a pronoun. "Remember" and "remind" are simply different words; "seem" and "resemble" are different words. So an English speaker has no instinct that a single Portuguese stem could split two ways depending on a tiny clitic. The transfer error is predictable: learners pick the bare form because it is shorter, and produce Eu lembro a reunião intending "I remember the meeting" — but that actually reads as a fragment of "I remind [someone of] the meeting." The fix is to attach the meaning to the whole frame — verb plus clitic plus preposition — and memorize the frame as a unit, not the verb alone.
Common Mistakes
❌ Eu lembro a reunião de amanhã.
Incorrect — bare lembrar + direct object means 'remind'; for 'remember' use lembrar de / lembrar-se de.
✅ Eu me lembro da reunião de amanhã. / Eu lembro da reunião de amanhã.
I remember tomorrow's meeting.
❌ Ele se esqueceu a chave em casa.
Incorrect — pronominal esquecer-se needs de; for 'left the key' use bare esquecer + object.
✅ Ele esqueceu a chave em casa.
He left the key at home.
❌ Ele parece com o pai.
Incorrect — for physical resemblance you need the pronoun: parecer-se com.
✅ Ele se parece com o pai.
He looks like his father.
❌ Ele se parece de um ator famoso.
Incorrect — parecer-se takes com, never de.
✅ Ele se parece com um ator famoso.
He looks like a famous actor.
❌ Vou encontrar com a Ana às três (planned meeting).
Marginal — for an arranged meeting the pronominal encontrar-se com is the precise form.
✅ Vou me encontrar com a Ana às três.
I'm going to meet up with Ana at three.
Key Takeaways
- The pronoun se can change a verb's meaning, not just its register — these are effectively different verbs.
- lembrar (remind) vs lembrar-se de / lembrar de (remember); esquecer (leave behind) vs esquecer-se de / esquecer de (forget). The de versions are everyday BR; pronominal versions are (formal).
- parecer (seem) vs parecer-se com (look like) — the resemblance pair takes com and is not collapsed in speech.
- encontrar (find / run into) vs encontrar-se com (meet by arrangement) — the pronoun signals intentionality, with com.
- Memorize the whole frame (verb + clitic + preposition) as one unit, since English gives you no parallel instinct.
Now practice Portuguese
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Start learning Portuguese→Related Topics
- Pronominal Verbs (Lexicalized 'Se')B1 — Verbs like lembrar-se, esquecer-se, and arrepender-se where 'se' is part of the verb itself — plus the colloquial Brazilian habit of dropping it.
- Reflexive Verbs: OverviewA2 — An introduction to Portuguese reflexive (pronominal) verbs — true reflexives, reciprocals, and lexicalized se-verbs — plus the BR drift toward dropping the pronoun.
- Verbs with Required PrepositionsB1 — The most important Brazilian Portuguese verb + preposition pairs — gostar de, assistir a, pensar em, contar com, lutar por — grouped by preposition, with notes on which ones colloquial speech drops.
- Reflexive Pronouns: me, te, se, nosA2 — The full set of Portuguese reflexive pronouns, how the overloaded se covers most persons, and why Brazilian speech places them before the verb.
- Idiomatic Expressions with 'Se'B1 — Fixed Brazilian expressions built around 'se' — dar-se bem com, dar-se conta de, sentir-se — and how to drill them as whole units.