English overloads a single word — sorry — to do half a dozen different jobs: getting someone's attention, expressing genuine regret, apologising formally, and asking someone to repeat themselves. Afrikaans pulls these apart into distinct words, and using the wrong one is one of the most audible markers of an English speaker. This page covers the apology gradient (ekskuus, jammer, ek vra om verskoning), how people accept apologies, and how to repair a conversation that has gone off the rails — asking someone to clarify, or fixing your own muddled sentence.
The three-level apology system
This is the heart of the page, so read it slowly. Where English says sorry for everything, Afrikaans grades the apology by how serious the offence is and how formal the situation feels.
| Word | Force | Use it for |
|---|---|---|
| ekskuus | light, attention-getting | squeezing past someone, a tiny bump, "excuse me" |
| jammer | genuine regret | an actual mistake you feel bad about |
| ek vra om verskoning | formal, weighty | serious offences, written apologies, official settings |
ekskuus (from the same root as "excuse") is the lightest. It is what you say to slip past someone in a queue, when you didn't quite hear, or when you bump a stranger's trolley. It carries almost no emotional weight — it lubricates social friction rather than expressing remorse.
Ekskuus, mag ek net hier verbykom?
Excuse me, may I just get past here?
Ekskuus, ek het nie mooi gehoor nie.
Sorry, I didn't quite hear.
jammer is the workhorse of real apologies. It expresses that you genuinely feel bad. When you've stepped on someone's foot, forgotten a birthday, or said the wrong thing, jammer is the natural choice. You'll constantly hear it expanded to jammer daaroor ("sorry about that") or ek is jammer ("I'm sorry").
Jammer, ek het nie bedoel om jou seer te maak nie.
Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you.
Jammer daaroor — ek het heeltemal van ons afspraak vergeet.
Sorry about that — I completely forgot about our appointment.
Ek is so jammer om van jou ma te hoor.
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother.
ek vra om verskoning (literally "I ask for forgiveness") is the heavyweight. It belongs in formal or serious contexts: a written apology, a public statement, owning up to something that genuinely wronged someone. Using it for a tiny bump sounds absurdly over-the-top — like saying "I beg your forgiveness" because you sneezed.
Ek vra om verskoning vir die ongerief wat dit veroorsaak het.
I apologise for the inconvenience this has caused.
Namens die maatskappy vra ek om verskoning.
On behalf of the company, I apologise.
A couple of close relatives belong here too. Verskoon my ("excuse me / forgive me") sits between ekskuus and jammer — slightly more deferential than ekskuus, often used when interrupting or before disagreeing. And my fout ("my fault / my bad") is a breezy, informal way to own a small mistake.
Verskoon my dat ek inbreek, maar ek moet net iets vra.
Excuse me for interrupting, but I just need to ask something.
My fout — ek het die verkeerde bestelling gebring.
My bad — I brought the wrong order.
Accepting an apology
Knowing how to receive an apology gracefully matters just as much. Afrikaans has a warm, well-worn set of responses, and an English speaker who only knows "it's okay" will sound stiff.
The most characteristically Afrikaans response is toemaar — an untranslatable, soothing word meaning roughly "never mind / don't worry about it / it's fine." It reassures the other person and waves the problem away. Dis reg ("that's fine / it's alright") and geen probleem nie ("no problem") are also everyday choices.
"Jammer ek is laat." "Toemaar, ek het ook nou net opgedaag."
"Sorry I'm late." "Don't worry, I only just arrived myself."
Dis reg, dit kan met enigeen gebeur.
It's fine, it can happen to anyone.
Geen probleem nie — moenie eens daaraan dink nie.
No problem — don't even think about it.
Repairing the conversation
"Repair" is the linguist's term for fixing trouble in a conversation — when you didn't understand, or when you garbled your own sentence. Afrikaans has dedicated phrases for both, and doing this abruptly is a common English-speaker failing.
Asking someone to repeat or clarify. A bare Wat? ("What?") sounds blunt or even rude, just as it does in English. Softer, more natural options:
Wat bedoel jy?
What do you mean?
Kan jy dit herhaal, asseblief?
Can you repeat that, please?
Ek verstaan nie heeltemal nie — hoe bedoel jy?
I don't quite understand — what do you mean?
Sê weer? / Hoe sê jy?
Say again? / Come again?
Adding asseblief ("please") or framing it as Ek verstaan nie... ("I don't understand...") softens the request and keeps it warm. A flat Herhaal (the bare imperative "Repeat") would sound like an order.
Repairing your own speech. When you've expressed yourself badly and want to restart, the standard launchers are Wat ek bedoel is... ("What I mean is...") and Met ander woorde... ("In other words..."). These signal that you're reformulating, not contradicting yourself.
Wat ek bedoel is, ons moet eers met haar gesels.
What I mean is, we should talk to her first.
Met ander woorde, dit gaan nie werk nie.
In other words, it's not going to work.
Common mistakes
❌ Ek vra om verskoning, ek het jou voet getrap.
Incorrect register — far too formal for a trodden foot; this sounds like a courtroom apology.
✅ Jammer! Het ek jou voet getrap?
Sorry! Did I step on your foot?
❌ Jammer, mag ek verbykom?
Wrong level — jammer expresses regret, not the light attention-getting you need here.
✅ Ekskuus, mag ek verbykom?
Excuse me, may I get past?
❌ "Jammer ek is laat." "Geen probleem."
Incorrect — the closing nie is missing from the negative.
✅ "Jammer ek is laat." "Geen probleem nie."
"Sorry I'm late." "No problem."
❌ Wat? (as the only response when you didn't hear)
Too abrupt — a bare 'Wat?' sounds curt, just like a bare 'What?' in English.
✅ Ekskuus? / Kan jy dit herhaal?
Sorry? / Can you repeat that?
❌ Herhaal.
Incorrect tone — the bare imperative sounds like a command, not a request.
✅ Kan jy dit asseblief herhaal?
Can you please repeat that?
Key takeaways
- Afrikaans grades apologies on three levels: ekskuus (light/attention-getting), jammer (genuine regret), ek vra om verskoning (formal/serious). English's single "sorry" hides this distinction.
- Verskoon my softens interruptions; my fout is a casual "my bad."
- Accept apologies with toemaar, dis reg, or geen probleem nie — and never drop the closing nie.
- Repair others' trouble gently (Wat bedoel jy?, Kan jy dit herhaal?) and your own with Wat ek bedoel is...; a bare Wat? or Herhaal sounds abrupt.
- For the wider set of social phrases, see social formulas and politeness.
Now practice Afrikaans
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Start learning Afrikaans→Related Topics
- Social Formulas: thanks, apologies, wishesA1 — The fixed everyday formulas of Afrikaans social life — thanks, apologies, congratulations, and good wishes — learned as whole units.
- Politeness and RequestsB1 — How Afrikaans softens requests and offers — asseblief, conditional modals, and diminutives — by layering particles rather than adding clauses.
- Fillers and Hesitation: ag, nou ja, welB1 — The fillers and hesitation markers of spoken Afrikaans — ag, nou ja, wel, eh, soort van, ek meen — plus the famously misunderstood ja-nee, an emphatic agreement that is not a contradiction.
- Making and Responding to RequestsB1 — The full request-and-response cycle in Afrikaans — from bare imperatives softened with asseblief to conditional sou-modals, and the warm replies graag and met plesier.
- Reassuring and Comforting: sterkte, dit sal regkom, toemaarB2 — The Afrikaans formulas for comforting and reassuring someone — sterkte, toemaar, dit sal regkom, ag shame — and the empathy idioms that have no English equivalent.