Learn Hardcore Indonesian: Kami tidak mau berpisah lama-lama dari keluarga kalau tidak perlu. - We do not want to be away from family for long if it is not necessary.

Kita tidak mau berpisah lama-lama dari keluarga kalau tidak perlu.
→ We (you included) don’t want to be separated from the family for long if it’s not necessary.

What is the nuance of tidak mau here? Is it different from tidak ingin?

Both can be translated as “don’t want (to)”, but they have slightly different feels:

tidak mau
- Very common and neutral.
- Can sound more about refusal / unwillingness.
- Everyday spoken Indonesian.
tidak ingin
- A bit more formal or emotional / internal desire.
- Closer to “do not wish to / do not desire to”.

In this sentence:

Kami tidak mau berpisah...
implies We don’t want / we’re not willing to be separated..., very natural in speech.

You could say kami tidak ingin berpisah..., and it’s still correct, but it sounds slightly more formal or written, or more about inner feeling than simple unwillingness.

What does berpisah exactly mean, and how is it different from pisah?

Base word: pisah = separate, apart, separation.

berpisah (with prefix ber-)
- Intransitive verb: to separate, to be apart, to part (ways).
- Often used with a preposition:
  - berpisah dari keluarga = be separated from family
  - berpisah dengan pacar = break up with a boyfriend/girlfriend
pisah by itself
- Can work informally as a verb in speech:
  - Saya pisah sama dia. = I’m separated from him/her.
- Also used as adjective/noun meaning separate / separation:
  - kamar pisah = separate room
  - hidup pisah = living separately

Here, berpisah is the more standard verb form:

Kami tidak mau berpisah lama-lama dari keluarga...
= We don’t want to be separated from (our) family for a long time...

Why is lama-lama repeated? What’s the difference between lama and lama-lama?

Lama by itself means “long (time)”:

Lama sekali. = Very long (time).

The repetition lama-lama here has a nuance of:

for a long time / for too long / for an extended period

In this sentence:

berpisah lama-lama dari keluarga
≈ to be apart from family for a long time (longer than we’d like)

Rough English equivalents of the nuance:

be separated for long
be away for too long
be away for an extended period

So lama-lama intensifies or emphasizes the duration, not just “long” but “(too) long / for a long stretch”.

Could you say terlalu lama instead of lama-lama? Is there a difference?

Yes, you could say:

Kami tidak mau berpisah terlalu lama dari keluarga kalau tidak perlu.

Both are correct, but they feel slightly different:

lama-lama
- More colloquial, soft, and flexible.
- Suggests “for long” / “for a long period” without specifying how “too long”.
terlalu lama
- Literally “too long”, more explicit about it being excessively long.
- Slightly more neutral / standard, and a bit stronger in meaning.

In many contexts, they overlap and both sound natural. Lama-lama adds a relaxed, spoken feel to the sentence.

Why is it dari keluarga and not dengan keluarga? What does dari do here?

Prepositions:

dari = from
dengan = with

In berpisah dari keluarga:

berpisah dari literally: “be separated from”
It focuses on the distance / separation away from the family.

If you said berpisah dengan keluarga, it sounds more like:

to separate *with the family* → which is odd in this context
or in some contexts: to part ways together with family (not what we mean here)

So:

berpisah dari keluarga = be apart / away from the family
dari emphasizes being away from them, which fits the meaning.

Can I say keluarga kami instead of just keluarga? Does it change the meaning?

Yes, you can say:

Kami tidak mau berpisah lama-lama dari keluarga kami kalau tidak perlu.

Meaning: essentially the same in context—“our family”.

Difference:

keluarga (without kami)
- Often understood from context as our family, especially when the subject is kami.
- More natural and less repetitive if “our family” is obvious.
keluarga kami
- Explicitly our family.
- Useful if there might be confusion whose family you mean (ours vs theirs, etc.).

In this sentence, both are correct; keluarga alone is very natural and common.

What does kalau mean here? Is it the same as jika?

kalau is a common conjunction meaning “if / when”, very frequent in spoken Indonesian.

kalau tidak perlu = if (it’s) not necessary

Comparison:

kalau
- Very common, informal to neutral.
- Used all the time in speech.
jika
- More formal / written.
- Common in official documents, essays, news, etc.

You could say:

Kami tidak mau berpisah lama-lama dari keluarga jika tidak perlu.

This is correct and a bit more formal; the meaning is the same. For everyday speech, kalau is more natural.

In kalau tidak perlu, what is the subject? Why isn’t it written?

kalau tidak perlu literally = “if (it’s) not necessary”.

Indonesian often drops the subject when it’s clear from context. Here, the implied subject is something like:

(hal itu) tidak perlu = that (thing) is not necessary, or
(berpisah lama-lama dari keluarga) tidak perlu = being separated that long is not necessary.

So the full underlying idea is:

We don’t want to be separated from the family for long *if that is not necessary.*

Because it’s obvious what “it” refers to, Indonesian simply says kalau tidak perlu.

How can kalau tidak perlu mean “unless it’s necessary”?

Literally, kalau tidak perlu = “if (it’s) not necessary”.

But in natural English, we often say “unless it’s necessary” for the same idea:

Indonesian:
Kami tidak mau berpisah lama-lama dari keluarga kalau tidak perlu.
Natural English:
We don’t want to be separated from our family for long *unless it’s necessary.*

So Indonesian often uses kalau tidak ... where English might use “unless ...”. This is a very common pattern:

Saya tidak akan pergi kalau tidak penting.
→ I won’t go *unless it’s important.*

Can the order be changed? For example, can I say Kalau tidak perlu, kami tidak mau berpisah...?

Yes. Indonesian is flexible with clause order.

Both are correct:

Kami tidak mau berpisah lama-lama dari keluarga kalau tidak perlu.
Kalau tidak perlu, kami tidak mau berpisah lama-lama dari keluarga.

Meaning: the same.

Putting Kalau tidak perlu first:

Slightly emphasizes the condition (“If it’s not necessary...”)
Stylistically very normal in both speech and writing.

Is lama-lama tied to berpisah or to tidak mau? Where does it belong in the structure?

It belongs semantically to berpisah (the separating), not to tidak mau (the not wanting).

Structure:

Kami (we)
tidak mau (do not want)
berpisah (to be separated)
lama-lama (for long / for a long time)
dari keluarga (from (the) family)
kalau tidak perlu (if/unless it’s not necessary)

So the main idea is:

not wanting (tidak mau)
to be separated (berpisah)
for long (lama-lama)
from the family (dari keluarga).

Is this sentence formal, informal, or neutral? How would it sound in casual speech?

As written, it is neutral and fine in many contexts (conversation, texting, etc.).

In more casual speech, people might say:

Kita gak mau pisah lama-lama dari keluarga kalau nggak perlu.
- kita instead of kami (including listener)
- gak / nggak instead of tidak
- pisah instead of berpisah

In more formal writing, with a slightly more formal tone:

Kami tidak ingin berpisah terlalu lama dari keluarga jika tidak perlu.

Meaning stays the same; only the level of formality changes.