Learn Hardcore German: Manchmal ist es schwer, tolerant zu bleiben, wenn jemand zum dritten Mal die gleiche Ausrede benutzt. - Sometimes it is hard to remain tolerant when someone uses the same excuse for the third time.

Manchmal ist es schwer … – slightly emphasizes “sometimes” (contrast with other times).
Es ist manchmal schwer … – very neutral and common.
Tolerant zu bleiben ist manchmal schwer … – puts “staying tolerant” in focus as the topic.

What is the function of es in ist es schwer? Is it like English “it”?

Here es is a “dummy” (anticipatory) pronoun, similar to English “it” in sentences like “It is hard to stay tolerant.”

German often uses es as a placeholder subject when:

The real subject comes later in the sentence:
- Es ist schwer, tolerant zu bleiben.
  → Real subject: tolerant zu bleiben (an infinitive clause).
The sentence has no concrete subject:
- Es regnet. – It’s raining.

You could theoretically say:

Tolerant zu bleiben ist schwer.

This is correct, but Es ist schwer, tolerant zu bleiben sounds more natural and is the usual word order in everyday speech and writing.

Why is there a comma before tolerant zu bleiben?

In German, infinitive clauses with “zu” are often separated by a comma when they depend on an adjective, noun, or a verb and are more than just a couple of words.

Here:

Es ist schwer, tolerant zu bleiben
- schwer is an adjective
- tolerant zu bleiben is an infinitive clause that explains what is hard

So the pattern is:

Es ist [Adjective], [zu-Infinitiv]
- Es ist wichtig, Deutsch zu lernen.
- Es ist interessant, Bücher auf Deutsch zu lesen.
- Es ist schwer, tolerant zu bleiben.

The comma makes the structure clearer. In many of these cases, the comma is required by modern German spelling rules.

Why do we say tolerant zu bleiben and not just tolerant bleiben?

After adjectives like schwer, einfach, wichtig, etc., German usually uses zu + infinitive:

Es ist schwer, tolerant zu bleiben.
Es ist einfach, das zu verstehen.
Es ist wichtig, pünktlich zu sein.

The “zu” marks the verb as part of a subordinate infinitive clause (similar to English “to stay”, “to be”, “to do”):

English: hard *to stay tolerant*
German: schwer, tolerant zu bleiben

Without zu, bleiben would look like a main verb in a second clause, which it isn’t.

So tolerant bleiben is fine in a different structure:

Ich will tolerant bleiben. (no zu after will)
Versuch, tolerant zu bleiben. (here you need zu)

What is the difference between tolerant bleiben and tolerant sein here?

Both are possible, but they emphasize slightly different things:

tolerant bleiben – to stay/remain tolerant
→ Focus on maintaining tolerance over time, not losing patience.
tolerant sein – to be tolerant
→ More static; describes the state itself, not the idea of continuing it.

In this context, where the person is repeatedly using the same excuse, bleiben is more natural because it implies:

It’s hard not to lose your tolerance / not to stop being tolerant.

You could say:

Manchmal ist es schwer, tolerant zu sein, …

It still makes sense, but tolerant zu bleiben is more idiomatic here.

Why is there a comma before wenn, and why does benutzt go to the end of the clause?

This is a subordinate clause introduced by wenn (“when/if”).

Comma before wenn
German always separates a subordinate clause from the main clause with a comma:
- Manchmal ist es schwer, tolerant zu bleiben, / wenn jemand … benutzt.
- Ich freue mich, / wenn du kommst.
Verb-final word order
In subordinate clauses, the conjugated verb goes to the end of the clause:
- wenn jemand zum dritten Mal die gleiche Ausrede benutzt
  - wenn = subordinator
  - jemand … = subject + objects/adverbs
  - benutzt = conjugated verb at the end

Compare with main clause order:

Main clause: Jemand benutzt zum dritten Mal die gleiche Ausrede. (verb in second position)
Subordinate: …, wenn jemand zum dritten Mal die gleiche Ausrede benutzt. (verb at the end)

Why is it jemand and not jemanden here?

The form jemand vs jemanden depends on the case:

jemand = nominative (subject)
jemanden = accusative (direct object)

In the clause:

wenn jemand zum dritten Mal die gleiche Ausrede benutzt
- jemand is the subject (who uses the excuse?)
- die gleiche Ausrede is the direct object

So we need the nominative: jemand.

Examples:

Jemand ruft mich an. – Someone calls me. (subject → nominative)
Ich sehe jemanden. – I see someone. (object → accusative)

What does zum dritten Mal literally mean, and why zum instead of something like für das dritte Mal?

zum dritten Mal literally is:

zu dem dritten Mal → contracted to zum dritten Mal
on the third time / for the third time

It’s a fixed, very common structure for counting occurrences:

zum ersten Mal – for the first time
zum zweiten Mal – for the second time
zum dritten Mal – for the third time
zum x-ten Mal – for the umpteenth time

We use zu + dative with Mal to mean “on/for this nth occasion”.

Für das dritte Mal would sound wrong or at least very unnatural in this sense. It would sound like you are reserving or preparing for the third time in advance.

So for “for the third time (doing something again)”, say zum dritten Mal.

Why is it die gleiche Ausrede and not die gleichen Ausrede?

This is about adjective endings and case.

Ausrede is feminine.
In the clause, it is the direct object → accusative singular.
Feminine accusative singular has the same form as nominative when it has the definite article die:
- die gute Ausrede (nom.)
- die gute Ausrede (acc.)

So:

Article: die (feminine acc. sg.)
Adjective: gleich with the ending -e → gleiche
Noun: Ausrede

Therefore: die gleiche Ausrede.

We would only see gleichen with a different gender/case, e.g.:

den gleichen Grund (masculine accusative)
mit der gleichen Ausrede (feminine dative → der gleichen)

What is the difference between die gleiche Ausrede and dieselbe Ausrede?

Both can translate as “the same excuse”, but there is a nuance:

die gleiche Ausrede – a similar / identical excuse in content
- Could be the same kind of excuse, possibly phrased slightly differently.
dieselbe Ausrede – literally the very same excuse
- Stronger: exactly that excuse, like repeating the exact line.

In everyday speech, many native speakers don’t keep this distinction strictly and often use die gleiche where logically dieselbe would be more precise.

In your sentence, both are possible:

… wenn jemand zum dritten Mal die gleiche Ausrede benutzt.
… wenn jemand zum dritten Mal dieselbe Ausrede benutzt.

Most people would say die gleiche Ausrede here; it sounds very natural and idiomatic.

Why is the verb benutzt in the present tense and not benutzt hat (perfect tense)?

German uses present tense much more often than English for:

general statements
repeated or habitual actions
timeless truths

The sentence describes a general situation:

Whenever someone uses the same excuse for the third time, it’s hard to stay tolerant.

So the present tense is natural:

wenn jemand … benutzt – when someone uses …

If you say:

wenn jemand … benutzt hat

this shifts the focus to a completed action in the past relative to something else, which doesn’t fit the general, “whenever this happens” meaning.

For generic “every time / whenever” situations, use the present in German, like:

Wenn es regnet, bleibe ich zu Hause.
Wenn jemand unhöflich ist, reagiere ich ruhig.

Why benutzen and not something like verwenden, gebrauchen, or nutzen?

All of these can mean “to use”, but usage and nuance differ:

benutzen
- Very common, neutral “use”.
- Works well with Ausrede:
  - eine Ausrede benutzen – to use an excuse
verwenden
- Slightly more formal; also common “use / employ”.
- eine Ausrede verwenden is also correct, but slightly less idiomatic.
gebrauchen
- Feels a bit old‑fashioned or formal in many contexts.
- More common in set phrases:
  - etwas gut gebrauchen können – really be able to use something
nutzen
- Often means “to be of benefit / to be useful”:
  - Das nutzt mir nichts. – That’s no use to me.
- With a direct object, it’s more like “exploit / make use of”, but you don’t normally say eine Ausrede nutzen in everyday language.

With Ausrede, the most natural verb choices are:

eine Ausrede benutzen
eine Ausrede verwenden

benutzen is slightly more colloquial and very normal here, so the original sentence sounds perfectly natural.