Learn Hardcore German: Womit bist du heute unzufrieden, und worum geht es dir wirklich? - What are you dissatisfied with today, and what is it really about for you?

Base structure: mit etwas unzufrieden sein – to be dissatisfied with something
Question: Mit was bist du heute unzufrieden? – With what are you dissatisfied today? (colloquial)
More standard: Womit bist du heute unzufrieden?

In careful/standard German, wo- + preposition is preferred over was + preposition when asking about things. Mit was exists, but it sounds more colloquial and is less recommended in formal writing or careful speech.

What is the difference between womit and worum?

Both are “wo-words” built from wo + preposition, but they refer to different underlying prepositions and meanings:

womit = wo + mit → with what
- Based on mit (= with)
- Here it refers to the thing you are dissatisfied with.
worum = wo + um → about what / around what
- Based on um (in es geht um …)
- In worum geht es dir, it means what is it really about for you / what do you really care about.

So they are not interchangeable: womit comes from verbs/adjectives that take mit, worum from the idiom es geht um.

How are forms like womit and worum generally built in German?

German often combines wo- with a preposition to form a question word referring to things:

wo + mit → womit (with what)
wo + über → worüber (about what)
wo + von → wovon (of/from what)
wo + für → wofür (for what)
wo + um → worum (about what / what … about)

Use these wo-words when you would normally have preposition + was for things.
For people, you normally use preposition + wem/wen instead, e.g. mit wem (with whom), not *wowem.

Why is the word order Womit bist du heute unzufrieden and not Womit du bist heute unzufrieden?

German main clauses follow the V2 rule: the finite verb (here bist) must be in second position, no matter what comes first.

Statement: Du bist heute unzufrieden. (subject first, verb second)
Question (fronted question word): Womit is in the first position, so the verb bist must move to second:
Womit bist du heute unzufrieden?

Womit du bist heute unzufrieden breaks the V2 rule (the verb would be in third position), so it is ungrammatical as a main clause.

Why is there a comma before und here – is that required?

The sentence joins two independent main clauses:

Womit bist du heute unzufrieden?
Worum geht es dir wirklich?

In modern German spelling rules, when und connects two main clauses, the comma is optional:

Womit bist du heute unzufrieden(,) und worum geht es dir wirklich?

Using the comma is often preferred because it makes the structure clearer, but leaving it out would still be correct. Here, the author chose to include it for clarity and rhythm.

Why is it dir and not dich in worum geht es dir wirklich?

Dir is the dative form of du; dich is the accusative form.

The verb phrase here is es geht jemandem um etwas:

jemandem (dative) = the person concerned / affected
um etwas = what it is about

So you need dative:

Worum geht es dir? – What is it about for you / What do you care about?

Using dich (worum geht es dich) would be wrong, because gehen (es geht …) in this idiom requires dative, not accusative.

What is the function of es in worum geht es dir wirklich?

Here es is a dummy subject (an expletive), similar to “it” in English in sentences like “It is important to me.”

The idiom is:

Es geht jemandem um etwas.
Literally: It goes to someone around something.

The es doesn’t refer to a specific object; it just fills the subject position required by German grammar. The real semantic content is in:

jemandem (here dir) – who is affected
um etwas (here worum) – what it’s about

So Worum geht es dir? is structurally:
[About what] does it go to you? → What is it really about for you?

What exactly does the expression es geht jemandem um etwas mean?

Es geht jemandem um etwas is an idiomatic structure. It generally means:

what someone really cares about,
what someone’s true concern or true interest is,
what is at stake for that person.

Examples:

Mir geht es um Gerechtigkeit.
What matters to me is justice / I care about justice.
Dir geht es doch nur ums Geld.
You only care about the money.

So Worum geht es dir wirklich? asks:
What is it that you really care about / what’s this really about for you?

Could heute be placed somewhere else, like Womit bist du unzufrieden heute?

Yes, heute (a time adverb) is quite flexible in word order. All of these are grammatically possible:

Womit bist du heute unzufrieden?
Womit bist du unzufrieden heute? (more unusual, can sound a bit marked/emphatic)
Heute, womit bist du unzufrieden? (strong focus on today, a bit rhetorical)

The most natural, neutral choice is usually:

Womit bist du heute unzufrieden?

Placing heute just before the adjective unzufrieden or after the verb often sounds most idiomatic in everyday speech.

Why use unzufrieden instead of nicht zufrieden?

Both are possible, but they differ slightly in style and nuance:

unzufrieden – a single adjective meaning dissatisfied / discontent.
- Feels a bit more compact and slightly more formal/neutral.
nicht zufrieden – literally not satisfied.
- Often sounds a bit more informal or descriptive and can be slightly weaker.

In many contexts they’re interchangeable:

Ich bin unzufrieden.
Ich bin nicht zufrieden.

In this sentence, unzufrieden is the more typical idiomatic choice with womit:

Womit bist du heute unzufrieden? sounds very natural.

Could I also say Worüber bist du heute unzufrieden instead of Womit? What’s the difference?

You could, but the preposition changes the nuance:

mit in mit etwas unzufrieden sein:
Focuses on being dissatisfied with something, often the situation itself.
→ Womit bist du unzufrieden? = With what are you dissatisfied?
über in sich über etwas ärgern / unzufrieden sein über:
More like being upset about something, often an event / behaviour.
→ Worüber bist du unzufrieden? = What are you dissatisfied/upset about?

In standard usage, mit etwas unzufrieden sein is clearly the more common and idiomatic pattern, so Womit bist du heute unzufrieden? is the best default.

Why is wirklich (really) at the end of worum geht es dir wirklich? Could it go somewhere else?

Wirklich is an adverb of degree / emphasis and can move somewhat freely, but its position affects the focus:

Worum geht es dir wirklich?
→ Neutral, idiomatic: What is it really about for you? (emphasis on the whole question)
Worum geht es dir eigentlich wirklich?
→ Adds extra emphasis, sometimes slightly confrontational.
Wirklich, worum geht es dir?
→ Sounds like you’re stressing “Honestly / seriously” at the start; more rhetorical.

The version in the sentence, … geht es dir wirklich?, is the natural way to put wirklich: it emphasizes that you are asking about the true underlying concern.

What level of formality is this? How would it change in formal speech?

This sentence is informal, because it uses du:

Womit bist du heute unzufrieden, und worum geht es dir wirklich?

Formal version (speaking to one person politely):

Womit sind Sie heute unzufrieden, und worum geht es Ihnen wirklich?

Informal spoken variants might also contract es to ’s:

Worum geht’s dir wirklich?

What is the difference between Worum geht es dir? and Worum geht es??

Both use the same idiom es geht um …, but:

Worum geht es?
→ What is it about? / What’s going on?
General question, not tied to a specific person’s concern.
Worum geht es dir?
→ What is it about for you? / What do you care about?
Adds dir (dative of du), so the focus is your personal concern, interest, or stake.

In the full sentence, … worum geht es dir wirklich? explicitly asks about the other person’s real, personal issue.

Why is the word order Worum geht es dir wirklich and not Worum es geht dir wirklich?

As with the first clause, this is due to the V2 rule in German main clauses:

Question word in first position: Worum
Finite verb in second position: geht
Then subject es, then dative dir, then adverb wirklich.

So the correct order is:

Worum geht es dir wirklich?

Worum es geht dir wirklich would again put the finite verb geht in third position, which is not allowed in a normal main clause.