Most reflexive verbs in Spanish have a non-reflexive sibling: lavar (to wash something) → lavarse (to wash oneself); peinar → peinarse; afeitar → afeitarse. But a small family of verbs is different. They appear only in reflexive form. There is no arrepentir in modern Spanish — only arrepentirse. There is no quejar — only quejarse. There is no atrever — only atreverse. The reflexive pronoun is not telling you that the subject is acting on themselves; it is just a permanent piece of the verb's identity, like the self in to bestir oneself in older English. Linguists call these inherently pronominal verbs (or verbos pronominales inherentes), and they need to be learned as units, complete with their obligatory prepositions. This page covers the most common ones in peninsular Spanish.
What "inherently reflexive" really means
A regular reflexive verb satisfies a logical equation: the subject of the action and the object of the action are the same entity. Me lavo = I wash myself; the action of washing is happening, the subject is doing it, and the object is also the subject.
An inherently pronominal verb does not satisfy that equation. When you say me arrepiento (I regret it), there is no separate action of "regretting" that is being applied to yourself. There is just the state of regretting. The me is not a logical object — it is grammatical filler, a fossilised marker that lives with the verb.
The diagnostic is simple: if you try to take the pronoun away, the verb stops existing. Lavar without se still works (you wash a car, a child, a dish). Arrepentir without se does not exist as a verb at all in modern Spanish.
The core list with their obligatory prepositions
Most inherently pronominal verbs lock in a specific preposition. Memorising the verb without the preposition is like memorising a verb without knowing what kind of object it takes — you will never get the construction right. Below are the highest-frequency members of the family.
| Verb | Preposition | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| arrepentirse | de | to regret |
| quejarse | de | to complain about |
| atreverse | a | to dare to |
| jactarse | de | to brag about |
| burlarse | de | to make fun of |
| fiarse | de | to trust |
| quedarse | (varies) | to stay / become |
| portarse | (adverb) | to behave (well / badly) |
| desmayarse | — | to faint |
| suicidarse | — | to commit suicide |
| abstenerse | de | to abstain from |
| resignarse | a | to resign oneself to |
| arrodillarse | — | to kneel down |
| desentenderse | de | to wash one's hands of |
| empeñarse | en | to insist on |
arrepentirse de: to regret
A stem-changing verb (e → ie in stressed positions) used constantly in conversation, in apologies, and in moral reflection.
Me arrepiento de haberle dicho aquello, lo siento muchísimo.
I regret saying that to him, I'm so sorry.
¿Te arrepientes de algo de tu vida?
Do you regret anything in your life?
Nunca me he arrepentido de dejar aquel trabajo.
I've never regretted leaving that job.
Notice the construction: arrepentirse de + infinitive expresses regret about doing something. De + noun expresses regret about a thing or event.
quejarse de: to complain about
The dominant verb for complaining. Quejar on its own does not exist in standard usage.
Mi vecino se queja del ruido todos los fines de semana.
My neighbour complains about the noise every weekend.
No te quejes tanto, hay gente peor.
Stop complaining so much — there are people worse off.
Se quejaron a la dirección y no les hicieron caso.
They complained to management and were ignored.
Note that quejarse a (to make a complaint to someone, an authority) coexists with quejarse de (to complain about something) — both prepositions are used, with different roles.
atreverse a: to dare to
Always followed by an infinitive (or by a noun: atreverse a algo).
No me atrevo a llamarla después de lo que pasó.
I don't dare call her after what happened.
¿Quién se atreve a saltar primero?
Who dares jump first?
Si se atreviera a hablar conmigo de eso, lo respetaría.
If he dared talk to me about that, I'd respect him for it.
The construction atreverse con (to take on, to be up to) is also used colloquially: Me atrevo con la receta (I'm up for trying the recipe).
jactarse de: to brag about
A more formal verb than presumir de (its colloquial near-synonym), but both follow the same construction.
Se jacta de no haber leído un libro en su vida, lo cual no es un mérito.
He brags about never having read a book in his life — which is hardly an achievement.
No me gusta la gente que se jacta de su dinero.
I don't like people who brag about their money.
burlarse de: to make fun of
No te burles de él, está pasando un mal momento.
Don't make fun of him, he's having a hard time.
Se burlan de mi acento, pero a mí me da igual.
They mock my accent, but I don't care.
Los críticos se burlaron de la película desde el primer fotograma.
The critics mocked the film from the first frame.
fiarse de: to trust
Note the preposition de — different from English trust [object] and different from Spanish confiar en (which also means to trust).
No me fío de los anuncios de la tele.
I don't trust TV adverts.
Me fío más de ti que de él, la verdad.
I trust you more than I trust him, to be honest.
¿Te fías de lo que dice el periódico?
Do you trust what the newspaper says?
empeñarse en: to insist on
A high-frequency verb in everyday speech. The construction is empeñarse en + infinitive (to insist on doing something) or empeñarse en que + subjunctive (to insist that...).
Se ha empeñado en pintar el salón de verde, y no hay quien la pare.
She's insisted on painting the living room green, and there's no stopping her.
¿Por qué te empeñas en discutirlo todo?
Why do you insist on arguing about everything?
Se empeñó en que fuéramos a su casa a cenar.
He insisted that we go to his place for dinner.
desmayarse, suicidarse, arrodillarse: bodily events
These verbs describe events that happen to or with the body. There is no separate notion of "fainting someone" or "kneeling someone down", so the non-reflexive form would be meaningless.
Se desmayó en pleno concierto, del calor que hacía.
She fainted right in the middle of the concert, from the heat.
El paciente se suicidó dos años después del diagnóstico.
The patient took his own life two years after the diagnosis.
Se arrodilló delante de ella y le pidió matrimonio.
He knelt down in front of her and proposed.
A historical curiosity: where these verbs come from
Many inherently pronominal verbs are old medio-pasivos — verbs that, in earlier stages of Spanish or Latin, included the reflexive as a marker of the subject's involvement in the event without a true object. The pattern is alive in other Romance languages too: French se plaindre, Italian lamentarsi, Portuguese queixar-se. The reflexive in these verbs is a fossil of a once-productive grammatical category called the middle voice, which sat halfway between active and passive: the subject is the locus of the event, but is not really doing anything to anyone or anything else. Modern Spanish has reclassified these verbs as a separate lexical category — pronominal verbs — but the middle-voice flavour explains why they all feel like they describe internal or self-contained processes (regretting, complaining, daring, fainting, kneeling).
Distinguishing inherent from meaning-change reflexives
The category overlaps with the meaning-change family (ir/irse, dormir/dormirse) — both have a se that is not strictly reflexive. The difference is:
- Meaning-change verbs have a non-reflexive base that is alive and used (ir, dormir, comer). The se shifts the meaning.
- Inherently pronominal verbs have no non-reflexive form in current use. Arrepentir, quejar, atrever simply do not exist.
You can test this with the dictionary: if the entry exists only as X-se, the verb is inherently pronominal. If the entry has both X and X-se, it is a meaning-change pair.
Inherently pronominal verbs in subordinate clauses
When you use these verbs in an infinitive after another verb, the pronoun must still appear, and must agree with the implicit subject of the infinitive. This is a place where learners often forget the pronoun.
Quiero arrepentirme antes de que sea tarde.
I want to repent before it's too late.
No queremos quejarnos por nada, pero hace mucho frío.
We don't want to complain about anything, but it's really cold.
Tendrás que atreverte a decirle la verdad algún día.
You'll have to dare to tell her the truth one day.
Notice that arrepentirme, quejarnos, atreverte show the pronoun attached to the infinitive, agreeing with the subject of the main verb. This is mandatory — you cannot say quiero arrepentir in modern Spanish.
Common Mistakes
❌ Me arrepiento por lo que dije.
Incorrect preposition — arrepentirse takes 'de', not 'por'.
✅ Me arrepiento de lo que dije.
I regret what I said.
❌ Quejaron del servicio al gerente.
Incorrect — 'quejar' without se does not exist in modern Spanish.
✅ Se quejaron del servicio al gerente.
They complained to the manager about the service.
❌ Atrévete decirle la verdad.
Missing preposition — atreverse needs 'a' before the infinitive.
✅ Atrévete a decirle la verdad.
Dare to tell her the truth.
❌ No me fío en los políticos.
Incorrect preposition — fiarse takes 'de', not 'en'. (Compare confiar EN, which is the near-synonym with 'en'.)
✅ No me fío de los políticos.
I don't trust politicians.
❌ Quiero arrepentir antes de morir.
Missing reflexive pronoun on the infinitive — arrepentirse is inherently pronominal.
✅ Quiero arrepentirme antes de morir.
I want to repent before I die.
Key takeaways
- Inherently pronominal verbs exist only in their se-form. There is no non-reflexive base in modern Spanish — arrepentir, quejar, atrever are not real verbs.
- The reflexive pronoun is a fossil of the historical middle voice, not a sign that the subject is acting on itself.
- Each verb locks in a specific preposition (de, a, en) which must be memorised together with the verb.
- The pronoun must agree with the subject in every form, including infinitives in subordinate clauses (quiero arrepentirme, necesitas atreverte).
- The category is not large — a dozen or so high-frequency members carry most of the load.
- Pay particular attention to quejarse de, atreverse a, fiarse de and empeñarse en, which appear constantly in everyday peninsular conversation.
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