You have met ほしい as the way to want a thing: 車がほしい "I want a car." The very same adjective, attached instead to a verb's て-form, lets you want an action — and specifically an action performed by someone else. 手伝ってほしい "I want you to help me"; 早く来てほしい "I want you to come soon." This is the outward-facing member of the desire family: where 〜たい keeps the wish on your own hands, 〜てほしい aims it at another person, which quietly makes it a kind of request.
The form: て-form + ほしい
Take the て-form of the action and add ほしい. Because ほしい is the same い-adjective you already know, it keeps all its adjective behavior: negating with くない, pasting with かった.
| Verb | て-form |
|
|---|---|---|
| 手伝う (to help) | 手伝って | 手伝ってほしい (want you to help) |
| 来る (to come) | 来て | 来てほしい (want you to come) |
| 聞く (to listen) | 聞いて | 聞いてほしい (want you to listen) |
| 説明する (to explain) | 説明して | 説明してほしい (want you to explain) |
ちょっとだけ、私の話を聞いてほしい。
chotto dake, watashi no hanashi o kiite hoshii
Just for a moment, I want you to listen to what I have to say.
約束したんだから、早く来てほしいな。
yakusoku shita n da kara, hayaku kite hoshii na
You promised, so I really want you to come soon.
The reframing English speakers need: English embeds a whole little clause under "want" — "I want [you to help]." Japanese doesn't build a subordinate clause at all. It takes the desired action, freezes it into a て-form, and treats that as the thing that "is desirable": 手伝って (helping) + ほしい (is wanted). Cleaner shape, no embedded subject.
The doer is marked with に
The person you want to perform the action is marked with に — the same に that points to a recipient or goal. Your wish is directed at that person.
この文法、先生に説明してほしい。
kono bunpō, sensei ni setsumei shite hoshii
I want the teacher to explain this grammar point.
子供にはもっと本を読んでほしい。
kodomo ni wa motto hon o yonde hoshii
I want my kids to read more books.
Watch the two roles carefully: に marks who does the て-form verb, while that verb keeps its own object in を. Both can appear in one sentence — 先生にこの文法を説明してほしい ("I want the teacher to explain this grammar") — and collapsing them (marking the person with を, or with が) is the single most common structural error here.
The negative wish: 〜ないでほしい
To say you want someone not to do something, you don't negate ほしい — you negate the action, using the 〜ないで form plus ほしい: 行かないでほしい "I want you not to go."
ここでたばこを吸わないでほしいんですが。
koko de tabako o suwanai de hoshii n desu ga
I'd rather you didn't smoke here, if you don't mind.
大丈夫だから、そんなに心配しないでほしい。
daijōbu da kara, sonna ni shinpai shinai de hoshii
I'm fine, so I'd rather you didn't worry so much.
Keep this apart from negating ほしい itself. 〜ないでほしい wishes for the absence of an action ("I want you not to go"). 〜てほしくない denies the wish for the action ("I don't want you to go / I'd rather you didn't do that for me"). The nuance is subtle but real:
そんなに気を使ってほしくない。
sonna ni ki o tsukatte hoshikunai
I don't want you going to all that trouble (for me).
Why 〜てほしい is inherently a request — and often softened
Here is the distinguishing insight. Because 〜てほしい aims your desire outward at another agent, it is not just a feeling you're reporting — it lands on the listener as something you'd like them to do. That makes it interpersonally loaded in a way 〜たい (which involves only your own hands) never is. A flat 手伝ってほしい can feel abrupt, even a little imposing. So in real speech it comes wrapped in softeners far more often than not:
- Explanatory / hedging endings: 〜んですが, 〜んだけど, な, or simply trailing off. These frame the wish as a situation you're sharing rather than a demand.
ちょっと手伝ってほしいんですが、今よろしいですか。
chotto tetsudatte hoshii n desu ga, ima yoroshii desu ka
I'd like you to give me a hand — is now a good time?
もう少し静かにしてほしいんだけど。
mō sukoshi shizuka ni shite hoshii n da kedo
I'd like you to be a little quieter, if that's okay.
- Climbing to a humbler verb for superiors: the receiving verbs 〜てもらいたい (a touch more objective) and the deferential 〜ていただきたい (see giving and receiving). To a boss or client you would not say 確認してほしい; you'd say 確認していただきたい.
お忙しいところ恐縮ですが、一度ご確認いただきたいのですが。
o-isogashii tokoro kyōshuku desu ga, ichido go-kakunin itadakitai no desu ga
I'm sorry to trouble you, but I'd be grateful if you could check it once. (deferential — for a superior)
Note too that 〜てほしい differs from an outright request with 〜てください: てください asks the listener to act; てほしい states your desire that they act. 来てほしい ("I want you to come") confides a wish; 来てください ("please come") issues a request. They overlap in effect but differ in stance.
Don't reach for the causative
When you simply wish someone would act, 〜てほしい is the tool — not the causative. The causative 〜させる means to make or let someone act, which is about control, not desire. 子供に本を読ませたい ("I want to make my kid read books") is a parent exercising authority; 子供に本を読んでほしい ("I want my kid to read books") is a parent expressing a hope. Confusing them turns a gentle wish into a command.
無理にとは言わないけど、行ってほしいなと思ってる。
muri ni to wa iwanai kedo, itte hoshii na to omotteru
I won't force it, but I do hope you'll go.
Common mistakes
❌ 先生が説明してほしい。
sensei ga setsumei shite hoshii
Incorrect — the person you want to act takes に, not が.
✅ 先生に説明してほしい。
sensei ni setsumei shite hoshii
I want the teacher to explain it.
❌ あなたを手伝ってほしい。
anata o tetsudatte hoshii
Incorrect — the doer takes に, not を: あなたに手伝ってほしい.
✅ あなたに手伝ってほしい。
anata ni tetsudatte hoshii
I want you to help.
❌ 行かないほしい。
ikanai hoshii
Incorrect — the negative wish uses the 〜ないで form: 行かないでほしい.
✅ 行かないでほしい。
ikanai de hoshii
I want you not to go.
❌ 聞いてほしいだった。
kiite hoshii datta
Incorrect — ほしい is an い-adjective, so the past is ほしかった.
✅ 聞いてほしかった。
kiite hoshikatta
I wanted you to listen.
Key takeaways
- て-form + ほしい = "I want someone else to do X." Distinct from 〜たい ("I want to do it myself") and from 〜がほしい ("I want a thing").
- The doer is marked with に; the action's own object stays in を (先生に文法を説明してほしい).
- The negative wish is 〜ないでほしい (行かないでほしい) — not to be confused with 〜てほしくない ("I don't want you to…").
- ほしい is an い-adjective: ほしくない, ほしかった, ほしくなかった.
- Because it points outward at another agent, 〜てほしい is inherently a request and usually comes softened with 〜んですが / 〜んだけど, or climbs to 〜ていただきたい for superiors.
- It expresses a wish, not control — don't swap in the causative 〜させる unless you really mean "make/let."
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Start learning Japanese→Related Topics
- 〜がほしい: Wanting a ThingN4 — How noun + が + ほしい says you want a thing — why wanting is framed as an adjectival state, why the wanted thing takes が, and how it splits from 〜たい (want to do) and 〜てほしい (want someone to act).
- 〜たい: Expressing Your Own DesireN4 — How ます-stem + たい states the speaker's own wish to do something — why it inflects like an い-adjective, why it's essentially first-person, and the が/を object alternation English has no match for.
- Choosing Among the Desire FormsN4 — A decision grid for the whole Japanese wanting system — たい, たがる, がほしい, てほしい, ほしがる — sorted along two axes at once: whose desire it is and what kind of thing is wanted.
- The て-form: Japanese's Universal ConnectorN4 — Why the tenseless, politeness-free て-form is the single most productive conjugation in Japanese — the hinge that feeds requests, progressives, sequence, permission, and dozens more constructions.
- Giving & Receiving: あげる・くれる・もらうN4 — Why Japanese has three giving-and-receiving verbs where English has two, and how they are chosen by the direction of the transfer relative to the speaker's in-group.
- 〜てほしい: Wanting Someone Else to ActN3 — How te-form + ほしい expresses wanting another person to do something — the に-marked agent, the negative 〜ないでほしい, and why it splits from 〜たい by who actually performs the action.