English has one workhorse word for desire: want. "I want coffee," "I want to sleep," "I want you to help," "my brother wants a phone" — one verb covers all of it, and the only thing that changes is what follows. Japanese refuses to lump these together. Instead it sorts wanting along two axes at the same time, and the answers to two simple questions pick your form for you. This page is the map that ties the whole system together, so that five separate patterns collapse into one grid you can navigate on sight.
If you have already met the pieces individually — 〜たい, 〜がほしい, 〜てほしい, 〜たがる, and 〜ほしがる — this page is where you learn to choose between them under pressure.
The two questions
Every act of wanting in Japanese is located by answering two things:
- Whose desire is it? Yours (first person), or someone else's (third person)? This decides the word class: your own wants use an i-adjective (たい, ほしい); other people's wants use a がる-verb (たがる, ほしがる), because Japanese reports others' feelings as observed behavior rather than asserted fact.
- What kind of thing is wanted? An action you perform (verb-based), a thing (noun-based), or an action you want someone else to perform?
Cross those two axes and you get the whole system:
| What is wanted | My desire (1st person) i-adjective | Their desire (3rd person) がる-verb |
|---|---|---|
| To do an action myself | 動詞 stem + たい 飲みたい | 動詞 stem + たがる 飲みたがる |
| A thing | 名詞 + が + ほしい 傘がほしい | 名詞 + を + ほしがる 傘をほしがる |
| Someone else to do an action | て‑form + ほしい 手伝ってほしい | て‑form + ほしがる 手伝ってほしがる |
Column 1: my own wants (the ‑い forms)
Because these describe your feelings, which you have direct access to, they are stated plainly as fact.
〜たい — I want to do something. Attach たい to a verb stem (the ます‑stem). The result is an i-adjective; the object may take が or を:
私はコーヒーが飲みたい。
watashi wa kōhī ga nomitai
I want to drink coffee.
今日はもう何もしたくない。ずっと寝ていたい。
kyō wa mō nani mo shitakunai. zutto nete itai
I don't want to do anything else today. I just want to stay in bed.
〜がほしい — I want a thing. A noun + が + the adjective ほしい:
私は新しい傘がほしい。前のを電車に忘れちゃった。
watashi wa atarashii kasa ga hoshii. mae no o densha ni wasurechatta
I want a new umbrella. I left my old one on the train.
〜てほしい — I want someone else to do something. The て‑form of a verb + ほしい. The person you want to act is marked に; the negative is 〜ないでほしい:
ちょっと手伝ってほしいんだけど、今いい？
chotto tetsudatte hoshii n da kedo, ima ii?
I'd like you to help me a bit — is now okay?
これは秘密だから、誰にも言わないでほしい。
kore wa himitsu da kara, dare ni mo iwanaide hoshii
This is a secret, so I don't want you to tell anyone.
Notice that 〜てほしい still lives in the "my desire" column even though someone else does the acting — the wanting is yours. What is wanted just happens to be another person's action.
Column 2: other people's wants (the がる forms)
The moment the wanter is a third party, Japanese stops asserting the feeling and switches to がる ("shows signs of"), turning the whole thing into a verb.
〜たがる — someone else wants to do something. Verb stem + たがる (a u-verb). The object takes を:
弟はコーヒーを飲みたがるけど、まだ子供だから飲ませない。
otōto wa kōhī o nomitagaru kedo, mada kodomo da kara nomasenai
My little brother wants to drink coffee, but he's still a kid so we don't let him.
〜ほしがる — someone else wants a thing. Noun + を + ほしがる:
子供がそのおもちゃをほしがっている。
kodomo ga sono omocha o hoshigatte iru
The kid wants that toy.
〜てほしがる — someone else wants a third party to act. The rarest cell, but it completes the grid:
娘は私に絵本を読んでほしがる。
musume wa watashi ni ehon o yonde hoshigaru
My daughter wants me to read her picture books.
Action vs. thing: the が/て split
Within your own wants, the difference between wanting a thing and wanting an action is marked by how the want attaches:
- Thing → the noun takes が and stands before ほしい: 水がほしい ("I want water").
- Action someone else does → the verb goes into its て‑form before ほしい: 来てほしい ("I want you to come").
They look similar because both end in ほしい, but the slot before it is completely different — a bare noun+が versus a て‑form. Mixing them up is the second-most-common error (see below).
When first person and third person swap
The person restriction is not iron-clad — it bends with grammar that gives you a window into another mind, or that hides your own:
- Questions let you use たい/ほしい about the listener, because you are asking, not asserting: 何が飲みたい？("What do you want to drink?"), コーヒー、ほしい？("Want some coffee?").
- Quotation and reported speech let you attribute the ‑い forms to others: 弟は「新しい自転車がほしい」と言っていた ("My brother said he wants a new bike").
- Evidential endings (〜たいようだ, 〜たいらしい, 〜たそうだ) let you infer a first-person-style want for someone else without the full がる shift.
コーヒー、飲みたい？それとも紅茶にする？
kōhī, nomitai? soretomo kōcha ni suru?
Do you want coffee? Or shall we go with tea?
Common mistakes
1. Using たい or ほしい to flatly report a third person's want. These are your-own-feeling words. For a bare statement about someone else, switch to the がる column.
❌ 弟は新しい自転車がほしい。
otōto wa atarashii jitensha ga hoshii
Wrong as a plain report — that's the own-want adjective used about someone else.
✅ 弟は新しい自転車をほしがっている。
otōto wa atarashii jitensha o hoshigatte iru
My brother wants a new bike.
2. Confusing action-want (て+ほしい) with thing-want (が+ほしい). If you want a thing, use が + ほしい; if you want someone to do something, use the て‑form + ほしい.
❌ 手伝いがほしい。
tetsudai ga hoshii
If you meant 'I want you to help,' this misfires — it sounds like you want 'a helper' as a thing. For the action, use 手伝ってほしい.
✅ 手伝ってほしい。
tetsudatte hoshii
I want you to help me.
3. Keeping が on the object of a がる-verb. The right column is verbs, so a wanted thing takes を.
❌ 妹がそのバッグがほしがっている。
imōto ga sono baggu ga hoshigatte iru
Wrong particle — ほしがる is a verb, so the bag takes を.
✅ 妹がそのバッグをほしがっている。
imōto ga sono baggu o hoshigatte iru
My sister wants that bag.
4. Using たがる/ほしがる about yourself. You never infer your own desires from behavior — use the plain ‑い forms.
❌ 私は日本に行きたがっている。
watashi wa nihon ni ikitagatte iru
Wrong — describing your own want as observed behavior. Use 行きたい.
✅ 私は日本に行きたい。
watashi wa nihon ni ikitai
I want to go to Japan.
Key takeaways
- Japanese sorts wanting on two axes at once: whose desire (mine → i-adjective + が; theirs → がる-verb + を) and what kind (an action I do, a thing, or an action someone else does).
- The five forms fill a clean grid: たい / たがる (do an action), がほしい / をほしがる (a thing), てほしい / てほしがる (want someone else to act).
- One rule does most of the work: first person → ‑い adjective + が; third person → がる u-verb + を.
- The が vs て slot before ほしい distinguishes wanting a thing from wanting an action.
- Questions, quotation, and evidential endings relax the person restriction, letting the ‑い forms reach the listener or a quoted speaker.
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- 〜たい: Expressing Your Own DesireN4 — How ます-stem + たい states the speaker's own wish to do something — why it inflects like an い-adjective, why it's essentially first-person, and the が/を object alternation English has no match for.
- 〜がほしい: Wanting a ThingN4 — How noun + が + ほしい says you want a thing — why wanting is framed as an adjectival state, why the wanted thing takes が, and how it splits from 〜たい (want to do) and 〜てほしい (want someone to act).
- 〜てほしい: Wanting Someone to Do SomethingN4 — How te-form + ほしい says you want another person to act — the に-marked doer, the negative wish 〜ないでほしい, and why this outward-facing desire so often comes softened.