Telling someone what to do is socially delicate in every language, and Afrikaans has a finely graded set of tools for it — from the blunt bare imperative through to a thoroughly softened request. The mechanics of the imperative form are covered elsewhere; this page is about choosing the right level of politeness for the relationship and the situation. The standout insight for English speakers: the little word maar is the warmest, most natural softener in the language, and it has no clean English equivalent.
The politeness gradient
Here is the whole spectrum at a glance, from most direct to most softened, using the verb sit (sit down):
| Level | Form | Tone |
|---|---|---|
| Bare imperative | Sit. | direct — command, urgency, or intimacy |
| Sit maar. | warm, reassuring "go ahead and sit" |
| Sit asseblief. | polite "please sit" |
| Sit tog. | gentle urging / pleading | |
| Modal question | Sal jy sit? | request framed as a question |
| Hedged modal | Sou jy kan sit? | very polite, tentative |
| Impersonal | 'n Mens moet sit. | general advice, no direct address |
Each step trades directness for warmth or deference. Let's walk through them.
The bare imperative
The plainest command is just the verb, optionally with its objects and particles. In a separable verb the particle still goes to the end: Maak die deur toe ("Close the door").
Sit.
Sit down.
Maak die deur toe.
Close the door.
Bel my môre.
Call me tomorrow.
The bare imperative is not automatically rude — among family, close friends, with children, or in urgent moments it's completely normal. But to a stranger, a customer, or anyone you'd treat formally, a bare Sit lands abruptly. English speakers often leave it bare out of habit and come across as curt without meaning to. The grammar of the form itself is on the imperative.
maar: the warm softener
This is the one to learn. Maar placed after the verb turns a command into a gentle, reassuring "go ahead" — it tells the listener it's fine, there's no pressure, do it freely. It's the sound of hospitality: Kom maar in ("Come on in"), Sit maar ("Have a seat, please"), Vat maar ("Go ahead, take it").
Kom maar in, die deur is oop.
Come on in, the door's open.
Sit maar, ek maak gou tee.
Have a seat, I'll quickly make tea.
Vat maar nog 'n stukkie koek.
Go ahead and take another piece of cake.
This maar is not the conjunction maar ("but"). It's a modal particle that says "feel free; no need to hesitate." In countless everyday situations it's more idiomatic and warmer than asseblief — asseblief makes a polite request, but maar gives reassuring permission, which is often exactly what a host or helper wants to convey.
asseblief and tog
Asseblief ("please") is the all-purpose politeness marker, fine in any register, and it can go at the start, in the middle, or at the end.
Gee my asseblief die sout aan.
Please pass me the salt.
Wees asseblief stil.
Please be quiet.
Tog adds a note of pleading or gentle insistence — "do please / do go on" — often when you're coaxing someone who's hesitating.
Kom tog kuier 'n bietjie!
Do come and visit a while!
Moenie tog so bekommerd wees nie.
Please don't be so worried.
Requests as questions: Sal jy...? and Sou jy...?
To soften further, drop the imperative entirely and frame the directive as a question with a modal. Sal jy...? ("Will you...?") is a friendly request; Sou jy kan...? ("Could you possibly...?") is markedly more deferential, the conditional sou lending it tentativeness.
Sal jy asseblief die venster oopmaak?
Will you please open the window?
Sou jy my kan help met hierdie dosies?
Could you possibly help me with these boxes?
Kan jy gou hier kom?
Can you come here quickly?
The conditional sou form is your most polite, lowest-pressure option — ideal for asking a stranger or a superior a favour. For the full range of request strategies and their responses, see making and responding to requests.
Prohibitions: moenie ... nie
To tell someone not to do something, Afrikaans uses moenie (a fusion of moet nie, "must not") at the front and closes the clause with nie — the standard double negative.
Moenie die deur oopmaak nie.
Don't open the door.
Moenie worry nie, dit sal regkom.
Don't worry, it'll work out.
You can soften a prohibition the same way you soften a command — with tog for gentle pleading, or by phrasing it as advice:
Moenie tog so hard werk nie.
Please don't work so hard.
The detailed grammar of negative commands — placement, separable verbs, the closing nie — is on negative commands: moenie ... nie.
Sequencing instructions: eers, dan, and the recipe register
When you give step-by-step instructions — a recipe, directions, a manual — you sequence the steps with eers ("first"), dan ("then"), daarna ("after that"), and laastens ("lastly"). The register is typically the bare imperative, since instructions are impersonal and the directness reads as clarity, not rudeness.
Meng eers die meel en die suiker.
First mix the flour and the sugar.
Voeg dan die eiers by en klop goed.
Then add the eggs and beat well.
Bak daarna vir dertig minute.
After that, bake for thirty minutes.
The impersonal directive: 'n mens moet
To give advice without bossing anyone, use the impersonal 'n mens ("one") with a modal — 'n mens moet, 'n mens moenie. It states a general norm rather than commanding the individual in front of you, which is maximally face-saving.
'n Mens moet versigtig wees met daardie pad in die reën.
One must be careful with that road in the rain.
'n Mens moenie alles glo wat jy lees nie.
One shouldn't believe everything you read.
This is the softest "command" of all — it doesn't tell you to do anything, it just describes what people generally ought to do, leaving you to apply it. For the broader art of sounding relaxed rather than bossy, see sounding casual.
Common mistakes
❌ Kom asseblief in. (to a guest you're welcoming warmly)
Not wrong, but it merely requests — for hospitable 'come on in', maar is warmer.
✅ Kom maar in.
Come on in (go ahead).
❌ Moenie die deur oopmaak. (no closing nie)
Incorrect — moenie requires a closing nie at the end of the clause.
✅ Moenie die deur oopmaak nie.
Don't open the door.
❌ Sit jy asseblief. (statement word order for a request)
Incorrect — a request question needs verb-first inversion: Sal jy sit?
✅ Sal jy asseblief sit?
Will you please sit down?
❌ Maak toe die deur.
Incorrect — the separable particle 'toe' goes to the end, after the object.
✅ Maak die deur toe.
Close the door.
❌ Sit. (curtly, to a customer or stranger)
Too blunt for a formal stranger — soften it.
✅ Sit gerus / Sit asseblief.
Please have a seat.
Key takeaways
- Afrikaans commands run a politeness gradient: bare imperative → maar → asseblief → modal question (Sal jy...?) → hedged Sou jy kan...? → impersonal 'n mens moet.
- maar after a verb is the uniquely warm "go ahead" softener — Kom maar in — often more natural than asseblief for hospitality and reassurance.
- The bare imperative isn't rude in itself; it's normal with intimates, children, urgency, and in recipe/manual register — but it lands curtly with strangers.
- Prohibitions use moenie ... nie, always with the closing nie. See moenie.
- Sequence instructions with eers → dan → daarna → laastens, keeping imperatives bare in true instruction register.
Now practice Afrikaans
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Start learning Afrikaans→Related Topics
- The ImperativeA2 — How to give commands in Afrikaans — the bare verb stem with no subject, the inclusive 'let's' with kom ons / laat ons, and softening with asseblief.
- Making and Responding to RequestsB1 — The full request-and-response cycle in Afrikaans — from bare imperatives softened with asseblief to conditional sou-modals, and the warm replies graag and met plesier.
- Sounding Casual: sommer, maar, netB2 — The little particles that make Afrikaans sound relaxed — sommer downplays effort, maar softens commands into invitations, and net narrows — plus the contractions that loosen the rhythm.
- Negative Commands: moenie ... nieA2 — How to tell someone NOT to do something in Afrikaans — the fused prohibition word moenie and its mandatory closing nie.
- Politeness and RequestsB1 — How Afrikaans softens requests and offers — asseblief, conditional modals, and diminutives — by layering particles rather than adding clauses.