Breakdown of Со временем я учусь относиться к неудачам спокойнее и видеть в них опыт, а не что‑то ужасное.
Questions & Answers about Со временем я учусь относиться к неудачам спокойнее и видеть в них опыт, а не что‑то ужасное.
Со временем literally means “with time” and is a very common, natural way to say “over time / as time goes by / eventually.”
- со = “with” (a variant of с used before some consonants for euphony)
- временем = instrumental case of время (“time”)
You could also say:
- С течением времени – “with the passing of time” (more formal, a bit heavier)
- Постепенно – “gradually”
In everyday speech, Со временем is short, neutral, and very natural at the start of a sentence about slow change or learning.
Учиться is often followed by an infinitive and means “to learn to do something.”
Structure:
- учиться
- infinitive = “to learn how to / learn to [do something]”
So:
- я учусь относиться ≈ “I am learning to relate / to treat (something in some way).”
Other examples:
- Я учусь говорить по‑русски. – I am learning to speak Russian.
- Он учится водить машину. – He is learning to drive (a car).
So учусь относиться is grammatically the same pattern: учусь (1st person) + относиться (infinitive).
Относиться (к чему‑то) literally means “to relate (to something), to have an attitude toward something, to treat something in a certain way.”
The -ся ending is a reflexive suffix, but in many verbs it no longer means “oneself”; instead it forms a separate verb with a particular meaning. Here:
- относить = “to carry / to attribute” (different meanings)
- относиться = “to relate / to have an attitude”
In this sentence, относиться к неудачам спокойнее means:
- “to treat failures more calmly,”
- “to have a calmer attitude toward failures.”
This is a very common verb in the sense of attitude:
- Как ты относишься к этой идее? – How do you feel about / what’s your attitude to this idea?
- Он серьёзно относится к работе. – He takes work seriously.
Неудачам is dative plural of неудача (failure, setback).
The verb относиться in the sense “to have an attitude towards” is used with:
- к
- dative case
So the pattern is:
- относиться к кому / к чему – to have an attitude toward someone / something
Examples:
- относиться к людям – to treat people (in some way)
- относиться к работе – to treat one’s work (in some way)
- относиться к деньгам легко – to be relaxed about money
So к неудачам is required by the verb относиться. It answers “toward what?” – “toward failures.”
Спокойнее is the comparative form of спокойный / спокойно (“calm / calmly”).
Comparatives in Russian often have the same form whether they’re used adverbially or adjectivally. Here it functions like an adverb (“more calmly”):
- спокойно – calmly
- спокойнее – more calmly
In the sentence:
- относиться спокойнее = “to treat (something) more calmly,” “to have a calmer attitude.”
Other examples:
- Он говорит тише. – He speaks more quietly.
- Становится холоднее. – It’s getting colder.
Breakdown:
- видеть – to see
- что? (direct object, accusative) → опыт (“experience”)
- в ком / в чём? (prepositional) → в них (“in them” = “in these failures”)
So literally: “to see in them experience” = “to see them as experience” / “to see experience in them.”
Них is the prepositional (and also genitive after some prepositions) form of они after certain prepositions, including в when it means “in”:
- я думаю о них – I think about them
- говорю о них – talk about them
- верю в них – believe in them
- вижу в них опыт – see experience in them
You can’t use их here; их is used mainly for:
- direct object: я вижу их – I see them
- possessive “their”: их дом – their house.
Literally, видеть в них опыт = “to see experience in them.”
In Russian, видеть в (чём‑то/ком‑то) [что‑то] is a very common figurative way to say “to regard / to perceive / to interpret [something] as [something].”
Examples:
- Он видит в этом проблему. – He sees this as a problem.
- Я вижу в нём друга. – I see him as a friend.
- Они видят в этом шанс. – They see this as an opportunity.
So видеть в них опыт means:
- to interpret/understand these failures as a source of experience
- to treat them as experience, not just as something bad.
Yes, а не is used to contrast two options, very close to English “rather than / and not / not … but ….”
Structure here:
- видеть в них опыт, а не что‑то ужасное
- see in them experience, and not something horrible
А by itself can mean “and / but” (contrast), and не is “not.” Together а не introduces an opposed alternative.
Compare:
- Не опыт, а наказание. – Not experience, but punishment.
(negating the first) - Опыт, а не наказание. – Experience, not punishment.
(affirming the first, contrasting with the second)
In your sentence, the pattern is the second one: we affirm опыт and contrast it with что‑то ужасное.
Что‑то is an indefinite pronoun meaning “something.”
- что – “what”
- ‑то – an enclitic particle that makes it indefinite (“some‑, a certain”)
Orthographically, it’s written as one word with a hyphen:
- кто‑то – someone
- что‑то – something
- где‑то – somewhere
- когда‑то – sometime / once
- какой‑то – some (kind of)
The special small dash you see is just a typographic non‑breaking hyphen; functionally, it’s the normal hyphen in spelling. You should always write что‑то with a hyphen, not as two separate words.
Ужасное is a neuter singular adjective used as a noun: “something horrible / something terrible.”
It agrees with что‑то, which is grammatically neuter singular:
- что (what) – neuter
- so: что‑то ужасное – literally “some horrible what,” i.e. “something horrible”
Adjective endings:
- masculine: ужасный
- feminine: ужасная
- neuter: ужасное
- plural: ужасные
This pattern (neuter adjective used as a noun) is very common with что‑то:
- что‑то интересное – something interesting
- что‑то странное – something strange
- что‑то новое – something new
So что‑то ужасное = “something awful/terrible,” with ужасное grammatically matching что‑то.
Yes, Russian word order is relatively flexible, and several variants are possible without changing the basic meaning:
- Со временем я учусь… – Neutral, slightly emphasizes the time frame: Over time, I am learning…
- Я со временем учусь… – Also possible; sounds a bit less standard, but still understandable. The focus is still similar.
- Я учусь со временем относиться… – This starts to sound awkward; со временем very naturally goes at the beginning or right after the subject, not wedged in the middle of учусь относиться.
Most natural are:
- Со временем я учусь относиться к неудачам спокойнее…
- Я со временем учусь относиться к неудачам спокойнее… (acceptable, though the first is smoother)
The given version is idiomatic and stylistically very natural.