Learn Hardcore Russian: Мой добрый друг говорит, чтобы я не нервничал и больше отдыхал. - My kind friend says that I should not be nervous and should rest more.

Мой добрый друг говорит, чтобы я не нервничал и больше отдыхал.

My kind friend says that I should not be nervous and should rest more.

Breakdown of Мой добрый друг говорит, чтобы я не нервничал и больше отдыхал.

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Questions & Answers about Мой добрый друг говорит, чтобы я не нервничал и больше отдыхал.

What is the role of чтобы in this sentence?

Чтобы here introduces a clause of purpose or an indirect command.

Roughly, the structure is:

говорит, чтобы я не нервничал и больше отдыхал
→ tells me (says) that I should not worry and should rest more

So:

говорить + чтобы + past-tense verb = to tell (someone) to do something / to say that someone should do something.

It’s similar to English “so that / that … would (should)”, but very often used for reported advice, orders, or wishes.

Why are не нервничал and отдыхал in the past tense if the meaning is about the future / general advice?

In clauses with чтобы, Russian often uses the past tense to express something desired, hypothetical, or not yet real.
This is sometimes called the subjunctive / irrealis use of the past tense.

So:

(чтобы) я не нервничал
(чтобы) я больше отдыхал

literally look like past tense forms but actually mean:

that I not be nervous / that I shouldn’t worry
that I (should) rest more

It’s not about the past; it’s about an unreal or desired situation. This is a normal pattern after чтобы.

Does не нервничал show that the speaker is male? What happens if the speaker is female?

Yes. The verb form нервничал is masculine singular past.

If the speaker is male: …чтобы я не нервничал…
If the speaker is female: …чтобы я не нервничала…

Similarly for отдыхал / отдыхала:

male: …чтобы я больше отдыхал
female: …чтобы я больше отдыхала

So this sentence, as written, implies the “я” is male.

Why is there a comma before чтобы: говорит, чтобы?

The comma separates the main clause from the subordinate clause:

Main clause: Мой добрый друг говорит – My kind friend says
Subordinate clause: (о том), чтобы я не нервничал и больше отдыхал – (that) I shouldn’t worry and should rest more

In Russian, clauses introduced by чтобы are usually set off with a comma, just like “so that / that”-clauses in English are often separated.

Could we say Мой добрый друг говорит не нервничать и больше отдыхать instead? What is the difference?

Yes, you could say:

Мой добрый друг говорит не нервничать и больше отдыхать.

Differences:

Original (чтобы + personal form)
- говорит, чтобы я не нервничал и больше отдыхал
  Focuses on me (я), clearly marking the subject of both actions.
  Feels a bit more personal and explicit: tells me that *I shouldn’t worry and should rest more*.
Infinitive version
- говорит не нервничать и больше отдыхать
  Uses infinitives (не нервничать, отдыхать).
  This is more “impersonal” and can sound more like a general instruction: says not to worry and to rest more, without stressing who exactly must do it (though context usually implies it’s you).

For clear, personal advice directed at я, the чтобы + past construction is more explicit.

Why is говорит used here and not сказал?

Говорит is present tense, so it can mean:

is saying (right now), or
says (repeatedly, in general).

So the sentence can mean:

My kind friend is telling me not to worry and to rest more (now / these days).

If you use сказал (past):

Мой добрый друг сказал, чтобы я не нервничал и больше отдыхал.
→ My kind friend told me not to worry and to rest more.

This is a one-time, completed action in the past.
The choice depends on whether you want to stress a general/repeated tendency (говорит) or a single past event (сказал).

Why are нервничал and отдыхал imperfective, not perfective?

Нервничал (from нервничать) and отдыхал (from отдыхать) are imperfective because the advice is about ongoing or habitual behavior, not a single, finished act.

Imperfective: отдыхать → отдыхал
Used for repeated / ongoing actions: to rest (more often / in general).

A perfective form would sound odd here:

…чтобы я отдохнул = so that I (would) get some rest (once, successfully)
This could be used if the friend’s goal is that you rest once and be done with it (e.g. today), but it doesn’t fit well with больше (more, in general).

With больше отдыхал, the meaning is rest more (in general, as a habit), so imperfective is exactly right.

What is the nuance of добрый in мой добрый друг? Is it just “good friend”?

Добрый literally means kind, good-hearted, gentle.

мой добрый друг
→ my kind friend (someone warm, caring, compassionate)

This is different from:

мой хороший друг
→ my good friend (close friend / good relationship; says more about the closeness of the friendship than about his character)

So добрый друг highlights his kindness, which fits nicely with him giving supportive advice.

What case is мой добрый друг, and how does agreement work here?

Мой добрый друг is in the nominative singular, because it is the subject of the sentence.

Agreement:

друг – masculine singular noun
добрый – masculine singular adjective, nominative
мой – masculine singular possessive pronoun, nominative
говорит – 3rd person singular verb form agreeing with друг

So the structure is:

[мой] [добрый] [друг] [говорит] …
(my) (kind) (friend) (says)…

Why is it больше отдыхал, not отдыхал больше? Is there a difference?

Both orders are possible:

больше отдыхал
отдыхал больше

They are very close in meaning: rest more.
Subtle nuance:

больше отдыхал slightly foregrounds the increase (more), then the action.
отдыхал больше sounds a bit more neutral, closer to rested more (than before / than others).

In this sentence, больше отдыхал sounds natural and emphasizes the idea that you need more rest.

Is чтобы always used alone, or can it be split as что бы?

In this sentence it must be чтобы (one word).
It’s a conjunction meaning roughly in order that / so that / that (someone) would.

Что бы (two words) is different:

что – “what / that”
бы – particle that marks unreality / politeness / hypothesis

You might see что бы in questions or other constructions, for example:

Что бы мне почитать? – What should I read?

But after говорит in the meaning says that I should…, you need the conjunction чтобы, written as one word.