Learn Hardcore Norwegian: Datteren min spør hvor gammel en tenåring egentlig er. - My daughter asks how old a teenager really is.

Datteren min (noun + definite ending + possessive)
- This is the most common, neutral pattern in spoken Norwegian.
- Sounds very natural and everyday.
Min datter (possessive + noun)
- More formal, often used in writing, speeches, or when you want to emphasize min.
- Can sound a bit “heavier” or more solemn in everyday speech.

In this sentence, Datteren min spør … is exactly what a native would normally say in conversation.

Why datteren and not dattera? I’ve seen both.

Both exist in Bokmål:

datteren = standard Bokmål definite form (common gender).
dattera = an alternative definite form influenced by dialects; feels more informal/colloquial.

If you use dattera, the possessive often matches in form:

datteren min (standard, very common)
dattera mi (also correct, but more dialectal/informal)

So you could also say:

Dattera mi spør hvor gammel en tenåring egentlig er.

The meaning is the same; only the style and dialect “flavor” change.

Why is it spør and not spør om here?

In Norwegian, whether you use om after å spørre depends on what follows:

Yes/no questions (no question word) use om:
- Hun spør om jeg kommer. = She asks if I am coming.
Questions with a question word (hva, hvor, hvorfor, hvem, etc.) do not use om:
- Hun spør hva du heter. = She asks what your name is.
- Datteren min spør hvor gammel en tenåring egentlig er.

So in your sentence, because you already have hvor, you must omit om.

How does the word order work in hvor gammel en tenåring egentlig er?

This is an indirect question, embedded inside the main clause. The basic pattern in Norwegian embedded questions is:

question word + subject + (adverbs/other stuff) + verb

So:

hvor (question word: how)
gammel (adjective, “old”)
en tenåring (subject: a teenager)
egentlig (adverb)
er (verb)

You must not invert the subject and verb as in a direct question. That means:

Correct: Datteren min spør hvor gammel en tenåring egentlig er.
Wrong: Datteren min spør hvor gammel er en tenåring egentlig.

The verb er stays at the end of the clause here.

Can I move egentlig somewhere else, like in English “how old a teenager is really”?

Yes, adverbs like egentlig are fairly flexible, but some positions sound more natural.

Most natural here:

… hvor gammel en tenåring egentlig er.

Other possible variants:

… hvor gammel en tenåring er, egentlig.
(egentlig as an afterthought; a bit more spoken/colloquial)

Less natural or marked:

… hvor gammel egentlig en tenåring er. (possible but slightly awkward focus)
… hvor egentlig gammel en tenåring er. (incorrect)

So the original sentence has a very typical and neutral placement of egentlig.

What exactly does egentlig add? Could I just skip it?

You can absolutely skip it:

Datteren min spør hvor gammel en tenåring er.
= “My daughter asks how old a teenager is.”

Egentlig adds a nuance like “actually / really / in reality / exactly”. It often softens or nuances a question, or suggests that there might be a misunderstanding:

She’s not just asking the number; she’s sort of asking “what counts as being a teenager, really?”
It can reflect curiosity about the true or real definition.

So egentlig is not required grammatically, but it makes the question sound more natural and nuanced.

Why is it en tenåring (singular, indefinite) when we’re talking about teenagers in general?

Norwegian often uses singular, indefinite to talk about things in general, similar to:

En hund er et dyr. = A dog is an animal. (meaning dogs in general)

So:

hvor gammel en tenåring egentlig er literally: “how old a teenager really is,”
but functionally: “how old teenagers (typically) are / what age makes you a teenager.”

You could also use:

… hvor gamle tenåringer egentlig er. = how old teenagers really are.

Both are correct. The singular indefinite is just a very common generic pattern.

Can I say hvor gamle tenåringer egentlig er instead of hvor gammel en tenåring …?

Yes:

Datteren min spør hvor gamle tenåringer egentlig er.

This shifts from generic singular (en tenåring) to generic plural (tenåringer). Both are natural, but there is a slight nuance:

en tenåring: focuses on the concept of “a teenager (any given one)”.
tenåringer: focuses more on the group of teenagers.

In everyday speech, both versions would be understood the same way.

Why does the verb er come at the end in hvor gammel en tenåring egentlig er but not in a normal main clause?

Norwegian has two relevant patterns:

Main clause (statement): verb in second position (V2)
- En tenåring er tretten til nitten år gammel.
  (subject – verb – rest)
Subordinate clause / indirect question: no V2; verb usually comes later.
- … hvor gammel en tenåring egentlig er.

So your sentence is:

Main clause: Datteren min spør … (V2: spør is second)
Embedded clause: … hvor gammel en tenåring egentlig er (verb at the end)

That “verb-last-ish” order is standard for embedded questions and other subordinate clauses.

Could I use lurer på instead of spør here? What’s the difference?

Yes, you could say:

Datteren min lurer på hvor gammel en tenåring egentlig er.

Difference in nuance:

spør = “asks”
→ She is actively asking someone this question.
lurer på = “wonders / is curious about”
→ This describes what she is thinking; she may or may not ask aloud.

Both are very common. Your original sentence with spør emphasizes the act of asking another person.