Learn Hardcore Dutch: Zij is te verlegen om het grapje meteen te vertellen. - She is too shy to tell the joke right away.

Both mean the same (she), but zij is the stressed form and ze is the unstressed, colloquial form. Zij can add emphasis (as in: SHE, not someone else) and is also common at the start of a sentence in writing. In everyday speech you’ll hear Ze is… more often.

Is zij ever plural?

Yes. Zij can also mean they. The verb shows which one it is:

Zij is = she is (singular)
Zij zijn = they are (plural)

What does te mean in te verlegen versus te vertellen?

Two different words spelled the same:

te before an adjective/adverb = too (excess): te verlegen = too shy.
te before an infinitive = to (infinitive marker): te vertellen = to tell.

Why do we have om … te in om het grapje meteen te vertellen?

In the pattern te + adjective + om te + infinitive (too X to Y), Dutch uses om te to introduce the infinitive clause. It’s standard: te verlegen om te vertellen. Don’t drop om here in standard Dutch.

Can I say om het grapje meteen vertellen without te?

No. In an om … te infinitive clause, te is required: om … te vertellen is correct; om … vertellen is not.

Why is vertellen at the end?

Dutch puts infinitives at the end of their clause. The om … te clause is its own (non-finite) clause, so the infinitive vertellen goes to the end: om [het grapje] [meteen] te vertellen.

Can I move meteen to another spot?

Yes. Common, natural options:

om het grapje meteen te vertellen (neutral)
om meteen het grapje te vertellen (also fine, slight focus on immediacy) Less natural: om het grapje te vertellen meteen.

Why het grapje and not de grapje?

All diminutives in Dutch (words ending in -je, -tje, -etje, -pje, -kje) take the article het. The base noun de grap becomes het grapje in the diminutive.

When would I use grap versus grapje?

grap = joke (neutral), article de.
grapje = little/harmless joke (diminutive), article het. In practice, een grap(je) vertellen are both idiomatic; grapje often sounds a bit lighter or friendlier.

Why vertellen and not zeggen?

Vertellen is used for telling a story, anecdote, or joke, often with a recipient: een grap(je) aan iemand vertellen.
Zeggen is “to say,” typically a statement or quoted words: iets tegen iemand zeggen. For jokes, vertellen is the idiomatic choice.

Is the om te clause expressing purpose or result here?

Here it’s linked to the adjective and expresses a result/constraint: she is too shy, with the consequence that she doesn’t tell the joke. With verbs like komen you can also get a true purpose reading (in order to), e.g., Ik kwam om je te helpen.

Can I rephrase with a dat-clause?

Yes, the zo … dat pattern is common:
Zij is zo verlegen dat ze het grapje niet meteen vertelt.
This avoids the te … om te structure but conveys a similar idea.

How do I negate the idea “not too shy to …”?

Place niet before the adjective phrase:
Zij is niet te verlegen om het grapje meteen te vertellen.
That means she’s sufficiently confident to tell it.

How would I add the recipient (to someone)?

Two common ways:

Double object with a pronoun: … om hem het grapje meteen te vertellen.
Prepositional phrase: … om het grapje meteen aan hem te vertellen. With nouns instead of pronouns, aan is often clearer: … aan haar moeder.

Are there good synonyms for meteen?

direct (very common, neutral)
onmiddellijk (more formal)
dadelijk (more Belgian/Dutch regional) Note: zo meteen means “in a moment/very soon,” not exactly “immediately.”

Do I need a comma before om?

No. Dutch normally doesn’t use a comma before an om … te clause. You might add one only in very long sentences for readability, but it’s not needed here.

Any quick pronunciation tips?

zij: [zɛi] (like English “say” with a short e at the start)
verlegen: stress on -le-; the g is the guttural Dutch sound
grapje: [ˈɣrɑpjə] (guttural g, schwa at the end)
meteen: [məˈteːn] (second syllable stressed)

What other adjectives commonly use this pattern?

Very productively:

te moe om te lopen (too tired to walk)
te klein om te fietsen (too small to cycle)
te druk om te komen (too busy to come)