Learn Hardcore Danish: Jeg kan tilgive mig selv, hvis jeg ved, at jeg gjorde mit bedste. - I can forgive myself if I know that I did my best.

Jeg kan tilgive mig selv = I am able to forgive myself.
Jeg tilgiver mig selv = I do forgive myself (as a simple statement of fact, no idea of “ability”).

In this sentence, we want the idea “I can (am able to) forgive myself”, so “kan tilgive” is correct.

Why do we say “mig selv” and not just “mig”?

“Mig selv” emphasizes that the subject and object are the same person: myself.

mig = me
mig selv = myself

Danish often uses “[object pronoun] + selv” to express English “-self”:

jeg elsker mig selv = I love myself
jeg ser mig selv i spejlet = I see myself in the mirror

So “tilgive mig selv” literally means “forgive myself” (not some other “me”). Without “selv”, “tilgive mig” just means “forgive me” (no explicit reflexive “-self”).

Could I say “jeg kan tilgive mig” instead of “jeg kan tilgive mig selv”?

You could say “jeg kan tilgive mig”, and people would understand it, but it sounds less natural and less clearly reflexive.

Jeg kan tilgive mig selv is the normal, idiomatic way to say “I can forgive myself.”
Jeg kan tilgive mig could be heard more as “I can forgive me” and is usually avoided in this context.

For reflexive meanings like “myself, yourself, himself”, Danish strongly prefers:

mig selv, dig selv, sig selv, os selv, jer selv.

Why is the word order “hvis jeg ved” and not “hvis ved jeg”?

In Danish:

In a main clause, the verb is in second position (V2):
- Jeg ved det. – I know it.
In a subordinate clause (introduced by hvis, at, fordi, når, som, etc.), the word order changes:
- [conjunction] + subject + verb
- hvis jeg ved … – if I know …
- at jeg gjorde … – that I did …

So:

“hvis jeg ved” is correct subordinate clause word order.
“hvis ved jeg” would follow main-clause V2 and is ungrammatical here.

What exactly does “hvis” mean here, and could I use “når” instead?

hvis = if (expresses a condition, something that may or may not happen)
når = when / whenever (something that does happen or is expected to happen)

In this sentence:

Jeg kan tilgive mig selv, hvis jeg ved, at jeg gjorde mit bedste.
→ I can forgive myself *if I know that I did my best* (it depends on whether I know it).

If you said:

… når jeg ved, at jeg gjorde mit bedste,
it would sound more like whenever / every time I know I did my best – talking about a regular, repeated situation.

So “hvis” is the natural choice because it expresses a condition.

Why is there a comma before “hvis” and before “at”? Are those commas necessary?

Danish has somewhat flexible comma rules, but in traditional / “grammatical” commas” (which many people still use):

You put a comma before most subordinate clauses:
- …, hvis jeg ved, …
- …, at jeg gjorde …

Under newer rules, the comma before “hvis” is optional, but the comma before “at” (when it starts a full clause) is usually kept.

So you might also see:

Jeg kan tilgive mig selv hvis jeg ved, at jeg gjorde mit bedste.

Both versions are accepted in modern Danish, but the sentence you have follows the traditional style with commas before both “hvis” and “at”.

Why is it “ved” and not “kender” in “hvis jeg ved, at …”?

Danish has two common verbs for “to know”:

vide (ved, vidste, vidst) = to know a fact, a piece of information, that-sentences
- jeg ved, at han kommer – I know that he is coming
kende (kender, kendte, kendt) = to know a person, a place, be familiar with
- jeg kender ham – I know him
- jeg kender byen – I know the town / I’m familiar with the town

Here, you are knowing a fact (“that I did my best”), so you must use vide:

✅ hvis jeg ved, at jeg gjorde mit bedste
❌ hvis jeg kender, at jeg gjorde mit bedste (incorrect)

Why is it “gjorde” (past tense) and not “har gjort” (present perfect)?

Both can be correct, but they are not identical:

jeg gjorde mit bedste = I did my best (simple past, just states a completed action)
jeg har gjort mit bedste = I have done my best (connects the completed action more to the present result)

In this sentence, you talk about a specific past situation that you are evaluating:

… at jeg gjorde mit bedste → that I did my best (then, in that situation)

If you said:

… at jeg har gjort mit bedste,
it would sound more like you’re emphasizing what you have done up to now or in some broader period.

With a concrete event in mind, “gjorde” is usually more natural.

Why is it “mit bedste” and not “min bedste”?

The choice between min and mit depends on the grammatical gender of the noun:

min = my (for common gender nouns: en-words)
mit = my (for neuter gender nouns: et-words)

Here, “bedste” functions almost like a noun meaning “best effort / best possible”. It behaves as if the implied noun were neuter (like “mit (bedste) arbejde” – “my best work”).

So you say:

mit bedste – my best (effort / work / attempt)

You cannot say “min bedste” on its own in this meaning.

What is the difference between “bedst” and “bedste” here?

Both come from god (good):

bedre = better
bedst = best (adverb or predicative adjective)
bedste = best (attributive adjective, or noun-like)

Compare:

Jeg gjorde det bedst. – I did it best (here bedst acts like an adverb)
mit bedste arbejde – my best work
mit bedste – my best (noun phrase: “my best effort”)

In “mit bedste”, bedste behaves like an adjective turned into a noun-ish expression, so it takes the -e form.

Do I need to repeat “jeg” so many times, or could I shorten it?

In Danish, you usually repeat the subject pronoun in each new clause:

Jeg kan tilgive mig selv, hvis jeg ved, at jeg gjorde mit bedste.

Leaving it out would be ungrammatical:

❌ … hvis ved, at gjorde mit bedste.

Each finite verb (kan, ved, gjorde) needs its own explicit subject in standard Danish, so the repetition of “jeg” is normal and required.

Could I move the “hvis…”-clause to the front:
“Hvis jeg ved, at jeg gjorde mit bedste, kan jeg tilgive mig selv.”?

Yes, that is perfectly correct and very natural Danish. The meaning is the same; only the emphasis / focus changes slightly.

Word order rule:

When you start a sentence with something that is not the subject (here: the hvis-clause), the finite verb in the main clause still has to be in second position:
- Hvis jeg ved, at jeg gjorde mit bedste, kan jeg tilgive mig selv.
  – If I know I did my best, I can forgive myself.

Notice that:

In the main clause after the comma, “kan” comes before “jeg” (V2 rule):
- kan jeg tilgive mig selv, not jeg kan tilgive mig selv at that point.

How do you pronounce some of these tricky words: “jeg”, “gjorde”, “selv”, “bedste”?

Approximate pronunciations (standard Danish):

jeg – often like “yai” or a short “y” sound (the g is usually silent):
- [jai] or [jɑj], often reduced in fast speech.
gjorde – roughly “YOR-uh”:
- g- is soft (almost like English y), -d- is voiced but soft, final -e is a weak “uh”.
selv – roughly “selv” but with a very soft v and final consonants often weakened.
bedste – roughly “BEST-uh”:
- d is very soft (almost disappearing), and final -e is a weak “uh”.

Precise phonetics vary by dialect, but these approximations will help you be understood.