The Dative Reflexive "își"
When people perform actions for or to themselves (himself, herself, themselves), Romanian uses the third-person dative reflexive pronoun își. It is exactly the same for both singular (he/she) and plural (they) subjects.
In English, we usually express this idea using possessive adjectives (e.g., protecting his ego, justifying their behavior). In Romanian, however, the structure emphasizes that the subject is directing the action back to themselves. The pronoun își is placed directly before the verb.
When you use the past tense (perfect compus), the auxiliary verbs for the third person—a (he/she) and au (they)—start with a vowel. To make pronunciation smoother, își drops its vowels and connects to the auxiliary verb with a hyphen, becoming și-. This gives us the combinations și-a and și-au.
The Expression "A-și da seama" (To Realize)
One of the most common and essential uses of this reflexive pronoun is the expression a-și da seama, which means "to realize" (literally, "to give account to oneself").
Like any other verb using the dative reflexive, the pronoun adapts to the tense: it remains își in the present and becomes și- before the past tense auxiliary. When making the sentence negative, simply place nu immediately before the reflexive pronoun.
