Learn Hardcore Swedish: Hon säger att riktig vänskap kräver både humor och tålamod. - She says that real friendship requires both humor and patience.

vänskap (friendship) is an abstract noun.
When we talk about friendship in general, Swedish normally uses no article:
- riktig vänskap = “real friendship (in general)”
- vänskap är viktigt = “friendship is important”

If you add an article, it becomes more specific:

en riktig vänskap = “a real friendship” (one specific friendship)
den riktiga vänskapen = “the real friendship” (a particular one we both know about)

So here, the speaker is talking about friendship in a general, abstract sense, so no article is used.

Why is the adjective order riktig vänskap and not vänskap riktig?

In Swedish, just like in English, adjectives normally go before the noun:

riktig vänskap = real friendship
en snäll hund = a kind dog
ett stort hus = a big house

Putting the adjective after the noun is only done in special cases (for example in certain fixed expressions or with extra emphasis, often with är / “is”):

vänskapen är riktig = “the friendship is real”

But vänskap riktig on its own would not be grammatical here. The normal noun phrase order is:

(article / determiner) + adjective + noun
riktig vänskap, en bra vän, den stora bilen

What exactly is the nuance of riktig here? Could you also say äkta or verklig?

All three exist in Swedish, but they feel slightly different:

riktig vänskap
- Very natural and common.
- Similar to “true / genuine / proper friendship”.
- Focus on “the kind of friendship that really deserves to be called friendship”.
äkta vänskap
- Also very natural.
- äkta = “genuine, authentic”.
- Slightly more emotional or emphatic; good if you want to stress that it’s not fake or superficial.
verklig vänskap
- Possible, but less common in this exact phrase.
- verklig = “real” as in “existing in reality”.
- Sounds more literal or contrastive (“friendship that exists in real life, not just in theory”).

In everyday speech, riktig vänskap or äkta vänskap would be the most idiomatic.

What’s the difference between kräver and behöver? Could I say vänskap behöver både humor och tålamod?

Both relate to “need”, but they’re not interchangeable:

kräva (here: kräver)
- Literally “to demand, to require”.
- Stronger, more objective requirement.
- Often used about things that are necessary conditions:
  - Jobbet kräver erfarenhet. = “The job requires experience.”
behöva (would be behöver)
- “to need”.
- More about what someone feels or personally needs:
  - Jag behöver kaffe. = “I need coffee.”

In this sentence:

riktig vänskap kräver både humor och tålamod

“Requires” fits well: these qualities are presented as essential components of real friendship.

You could say:

riktig vänskap behöver både humor och tålamod

and it would be understandable and not wrong, but kräver sounds tighter and more natural when describing what something must have in order to be what it is.

How does både … och work? Is it always used like “both … and …”?

Yes. både … och is the standard way to say “both … and …” in Swedish.

Structure:

både X och Y = “both X and Y”

In your sentence:

både humor och tålamod = “both humor and patience”

Some more examples:

Jag gillar både kaffe och te.
“I like both coffee and tea.”
Hon talar både svenska och engelska.
“She speaks both Swedish and English.”

Notes:

både almost always needs a matching och.
Don’t use och twice (no både X och Y och Z); for more than two things, you usually choose slightly different wording:
- Hon har humor, tålamod och omtanke.
- Or split it: både humor och tålamod, och dessutom omtanke.

What is att doing here in Hon säger att riktig vänskap kräver …? Is it the same att as in infinitives like att läsa (“to read”)?

Swedish has two main uses of att, written the same but functioning differently.

Subordinating conjunction att (= “that”)
- Introduces a subordinate clause, usually a “that-clause” in English.
- That’s what we have here:
  - Hon säger att riktig vänskap kräver …
    = “She says that real friendship requires …”
Infinitive marker att (= “to”)
- Used before verbs in the infinitive:
  - Jag gillar att läsa. = “I like to read.”
  - Att bo i Sverige är dyrt. = “To live in Sweden is expensive.”

Same spelling and pronunciation, but different grammar roles:

In your sentence, att links the verb säger to what is being said (a whole clause).
There is no infinitive here; kräver is a present-tense finite verb, not an infinitive.

Why is the word order att riktig vänskap kräver and not att kräver riktig vänskap? I thought the verb goes early in Swedish.

In main clauses, Swedish has the V2 rule: the verb is normally in second position:

Hon säger det. (subject + verb)
I dag säger hon det. (adverbial + verb + subject)

But in subordinate clauses (those introduced by att, eftersom, när, etc.), the word order is different:

The subject usually comes before the verb, like in English:
- att hon säger det = “that she says it”
- att jag bor här = “that I live here”

So:

att riktig vänskap kräver …
- riktig vänskap = subject
- kräver = verb

This is the standard subordinate-clause order in Swedish:
[att] + subject + verb + …

Why isn’t there a comma before att? In English we often write “She says, that …” (even though modern English usually skips the comma).

Modern Swedish punctuation normally does not use a comma before att when it introduces an essential subordinate clause like this one.

So:

Hon säger att riktig vänskap kräver … ✅
Hon säger, att riktig vänskap kräver … ❌ (old-fashioned / incorrect by modern standards)

General guideline:

No comma before att when it simply introduces the content of what someone says, thinks, knows, etc.:
- Jag tror att det regnar.
- De vet att han kommer.

You may see commas used differently in older texts, but current standard Swedish keeps it comma-free in this type of sentence.

What are the grammatical genders and forms of vänskap, humor, and tålamod? Can they be plural?

Let’s look at each noun:

vänskap (friendship)
- Gender: en-word (common gender) → en vänskap
- Plural: vänskaper
  - Vi har haft många vänskaper i livet. = “We have had many friendships in life.”
- Often used as an abstract mass noun without an article, as in your sentence.
humor (humor, sense of humor)
- Gender: usually treated as an en-word → en humor, hennes humor
- Often used without an article in practice:
  - Han har bra humor. = “He has a good sense of humor.”
- Plural is rarely used in everyday speech; you more often talk about en sorts humor (“a kind of humor”).
tålamod (patience)
- Gender: ett-word (neuter) → ett tålamod
- Very often used without article as a mass noun:
  - Hon har mycket tålamod. = “She has a lot of patience.”
- Practically no plural in normal use.

In your sentence, all three nouns are used in a general, abstract way, so they appear without articles:
riktig vänskap, både humor och tålamod.

How do you pronounce the difficult sounds in this sentence, especially sä-, vän-, -skap, ä, and å?

Very rough guide with English approximations (Swedish has its own phonetics, but this helps):

Hon
- Like English hone but with a shorter vowel: roughly [hon].
säger
- Often pronounced like “sä-jer”: [ˈsɛːjɛr]
- ä = like “e” in “bed”, but often a bit longer here.
riktig
- rik- like English “rick” (but with a trilled or tapped r).
- -tig is often pronounced more like “tih” or “tik” than “tig” in English.
- Roughly [ˈrɪktɪg] (in many accents the g is weak or almost gone).
vänskap
- vän:
  - ä like “e” in “bed”.
  - ä
    - n: [vɛn].
- skap:
  - a more like the “a” in “father”, but short.
  - Final p is clear and unaspirated compared to English.
- Together: [ˈvɛnˌskɑːp] (stress on vän).
kräver
- krä- again with ä like “e” in “bed”, but long: [krɛː-].
- -ver similar to English “vair”, but shorter: [vɛr].
både
- å = like “aw” in “law” or the vowel in British English “more”.
- Roughly [ˈboːdɛ] or [ˈbɔːdɛ] depending on accent.
humor
- hu- like the “hoo” in “hoop”, but often shorter: [ˈhʉː-] (Swedish u is usually rounded and central/fronted).
- -mor a bit like “moor”: [mʊr] / [muːr] depending on accent.
tålamod
- tå: å like “aw” in law: [toː] / [tɔː].
- la: a like the “a” in father, but short: [la].
- mod: like “mood” but often a bit shorter: [muːd].
- Whole: [ˈtoːlaˌmuːd].

Main stresses in the sentence fall on: SÄger, RIKtig, VÄNskap, KRÄver, HU-mor, TÅ-la-mod.

What tense is säger? Can it also mean “is saying” like English present continuous?

säger is the present tense of säga (“to say”):

säga – säger – sa/sade – sagt
(infinitive – present – past – supine)

Swedish doesn’t have a separate present continuous form like “is saying / are saying”. Instead, present tense covers both:

Hon säger att …
- “She says that …”
- or “She is saying that …” (depending on context)

If you really want to make it feel ongoing, you can sometimes add an adverb:

Hon sitter och säger att …
Literally “She sits and says that …”
→ feels more like “She’s sitting there saying that …”

Is Hon säger att riktig vänskap kräver både humor och tålamod a natural way for a native to say this, or would they phrase it differently?

This sentence is completely natural and idiomatic Swedish. A native speaker might also say, with slightly different nuance:

Hon säger att äkta vänskap kräver både humor och tålamod.
(using äkta instead of riktig)
Hon menar att riktig vänskap kräver både humor och tålamod.
(menar = “means / thinks / believes”)
Hon tycker att riktig vänskap kräver både humor och tålamod.
(tycker = “is of the opinion that”)

But your original version is perfectly correct, neutral, and something a Swede could easily say.