Learn Hardcore Spanish (Spain): Mi novio y yo queremos que nuestra relación sea sincera. - My boyfriend and I want our relationship to be sincere.

Saying Yo y mi novio is not grammatically wrong, but it sounds less natural and, in many situations, a bit self‑centered or childish. Native speakers normally avoid starting with yo in coordinated subjects like this.

What exactly does novio mean in Spain? Is it always “boyfriend”?

In Spain, novio most commonly means boyfriend (a romantic partner, usually in an exclusive relationship). But context matters:

novio / novia
- boyfriend / girlfriend
- can also mean fiancé / fiancée (someone you’re engaged to)
pareja
- more neutral: partner (can be boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, long‑term partner, same‑sex or opposite‑sex)

So Mi novio y yo in Spain is naturally understood as My boyfriend and I, unless context suggests engagement (then it could be “my fiancé and I”).

Why is it queremos que and not just queremos followed by the rest of the sentence?

Spanish distinguishes between:

querer + noun / infinitive (direct object)
- Queremos una relación sincera. – We want an honest relationship.
- Queremos ser sinceros. – We want to be honest.
querer que + sentence (with a different subject)
- Queremos que nuestra relación sea sincera. – We want our relationship to be honest.

In your sentence, “what we want” is not a thing (noun) but a situation: that our relationship be honest.
To express “we want that X happens / is like this”, Spanish uses querer que + subjunctive.

So:

queremos que introduces a subordinate clause (a full mini-sentence),
and that clause then uses the subjunctive: sea.

Why is it sea and not es?

Sea is used because this is the subjunctive mood, not the indicative.

Structure:

queremos que
- [subjunctive]

Queremos que nuestra relación sea sincera.
= We want our relationship to be honest.

We use the subjunctive after verbs of:

desire / wish (querer, desear)
emotion (gustar, molestar)
doubt, etc.

Here, queremos expresses a desire about another subject (nuestra relación), so the verb ser goes into the present subjunctive sea, not the indicative es.

If you said:

Queremos que nuestra relación es sincera.
→ This is grammatically wrong in standard Spanish.

What form is sea exactly (tense and person)?

Sea is:

Verb: ser
Mood: subjunctive
Tense: present subjunctive
Person/number: 3rd person singular

Present subjunctive of ser is:

yo sea
tú seas
él / ella / usted sea
nosotros / nosotras seamos
vosotros / vosotras seáis
ellos / ellas / ustedes sean

In the sentence, the subject of sea is nuestra relación (3rd person singular), so we use sea.

Why is it sincera and not sincero?

In Spanish, adjectives agree in gender and number with the noun they describe.

relación is feminine and singular: la relación
Therefore, the adjective must also be feminine singular: sincera

Examples:

una relación sincera (fem. sg.)
unas relaciones sinceras (fem. pl.)
un chico sincero (masc. sg.)
unos chicos sinceros (masc. pl.)

So nuestra relación sea sincera is correct because relación is feminine.

Could I say Mi novio y yo queremos ser sinceros instead? Does it mean the same?

You can say it, but the nuance is slightly different:

Mi novio y yo queremos que nuestra relación sea sincera.
Focus on the relationship itself being honest/transparent (its nature, the dynamic between you).
Mi novio y yo queremos ser sinceros.
Focus on you and your boyfriend personally wanting to be honest people (with each other, maybe also generally).

In real life, they’re closely related ideas, and both sound natural, but the first one emphasizes the quality of the relationship, the second emphasizes your behaviour/attitude.

Could I drop nuestra and just say …que la relación sea sincera?

You could say la relación, but it would sound less natural here and slightly more distant or generic, as if talking about “the relationship” in an abstract way.

nuestra relación = our relationship (personal, clearly referring to yours)
la relación = the relationship (more neutral; which relationship? context must clarify)

In everyday speech about your own romantic relationship, Spanish speakers usually say:

nuestra relación (our relationship)
So nuestra is the most natural choice here.

Is queremos que literally “we want that”? Why don’t we say that in English?

Yes, structurally queremos que is like “we want that…”, but English usually doesn’t use “that” with “want” in this way.

Spanish:

Queremos que nuestra relación sea sincera.

Literal structure:

We want that our relationship be honest.

Natural English:

We want our relationship to be honest.

So:

Spanish uses querer que + subjunctive.
English uses want + object + to + infinitive (we want [our relationship] to be …).

If you translate “queremos que” as “we want that” word‑for‑word, the English sounds wrong, but the Spanish is perfectly natural.

Can I change the word order and say Queremos que sea sincera nuestra relación?

It’s grammatically possible, but it sounds unusual and a bit poetic or emphatic in everyday speech.

Normal, neutral order:

Queremos que nuestra relación sea sincera.

Marked / emphatic:

Queremos que sea sincera nuestra relación.

The second version may be used in writing or speech to give special emphasis to sincera, but for normal conversation, stick with the original word order.

Is it always Mi novio y yo queremos… or can I say Nosotros queremos… instead?

Both are correct, but they’re used a bit differently:

Mi novio y yo queremos…
- Explicitly states who “we” are.
- Very common and natural when you first mention the subject.
Nosotros queremos…
- Uses the pronoun nosotros, which is often omitted in Spanish because the verb already shows the person (queremos = we want).
- You’d say nosotros mainly for contrast or emphasis:
  - Ellos no quieren, pero nosotros queremos que nuestra relación sea sincera.

If the listener doesn’t already know who “we” refers to, Mi novio y yo is clearer.