Learn Hardcore Russian: Когда у детей серьёзный конфликт из‑за слов, родителям приходится внимательно слушать всех. - When children have a serious conflict because of words, parents have to carefully listen to everyone.

у детей серьёзный конфликт = “the children have a serious conflict”
- у = “at / by”
- детей = genitive plural of дети (“children”)
- literally: “at the children [there is] a serious conflict”

Using дети имеют серьёзный конфликт is grammatically correct but sounds bookish or very formal. For everyday speech, у детей... is far more natural.

There’s no verb like “are/have” in когда у детей серьёзный конфликт. Is something missing?

Nothing is missing; this is normal Russian.

In the present tense, Russian often omits the verb есть (“there is / is”) in sentences of the type “X is Y” or “X has Y” when it’s obvious from context.

So underlyingly the structure is:

Когда у детей (есть) серьёзный конфликт...

The есть is simply dropped. If you say Когда у детей есть серьёзный конфликт, it’s still correct, but the есть may sound a bit heavier or more emphatic, as if you’re stressing the existence of such a conflict.

Why is there a comma before родителям приходится внимательно слушать всех?

The comma separates a subordinate clause from the main clause.

Когда у детей серьёзный конфликт из‑за слов, → subordinate clause introduced by когда (“when”)
родителям приходится внимательно слушать всех. → main clause (“the parents have to…”)

In Russian, a когда‑clause is always separated from the main clause by a comma, whether it comes first or second:

Когда у детей конфликт, родители волнуются.
Родители волнуются, когда у детей конфликт.

Why is it из‑за слов and not something like из-за слова or из-за того, что сказали?

Several things are happening here:

из‑за always takes the genitive case.
слово → genitive plural is слов (zero ending, irregular form).
из‑за слов is a concise, idiomatic way to say “because of (some) words / over something said”.

You could say:

из-за того, что кто-то что-то сказал – “because someone said something”

But that’s longer and more explicit. из‑за слов is more compact and general: it just means the conflict is provoked by what was said / by words, without specifying exactly who said what.

из‑за слова (gen. singular) would mean “because of a (single) word”, which is also possible but a bit more specific: one particular word caused the conflict.

Why is the form слов, not слова, after из‑за?

Because слово is in the genitive plural here.

Nominative singular: слово
Nominative plural: слова
Genitive plural: слов

The preposition из‑за requires the genitive case. Since we’re talking about “words” in general (more than one), we need genitive plural:

из‑за слов = “because of words”

So слова would be nominative plural or genitive singular, and that’s not what из‑за needs here.

Why is it родителям приходится, with родителям in the dative, instead of simply родители должны внимательно слушать всех?

Приходится forms an impersonal construction that expresses necessity or obligation which is imposed by circumstances, not by someone’s will. The structure is:

[Dative] + приходится + [infinitive]

Here:

родителям = dative plural of родители (“parents”)
приходится ≈ “have to / are forced to / it is necessary for [them to]”

So:

родителям приходится внимательно слушать всех
literally: “for the parents, it is necessary to listen carefully to everyone”

Nuance difference:

родители должны внимательно слушать всех – more direct “parents must / should…”, sounds like a rule or moral obligation.
родителям приходится внимательно слушать всех – suggests that, in this situation, circumstances leave them no choice; they end up having to listen to everyone.

What is the grammatical subject of приходится in this sentence?

Syntactically, приходится here is part of an impersonal construction, so it doesn’t have a normal, concrete subject like in English.

The verb is in 3rd person singular neuter: приходится.
The “experiencer” (the one who must do the action) is in the dative case: родителям.
The required action is in the infinitive: внимательно слушать всех.

So there is no explicit subject equivalent to English “it”. The whole structure is:

(Им) приходится [делать что‑то] = “They have to / It is necessary for them to [do something]”

Why is it внимательно and not внимательный or внимательная?

Внимательно is an adverb, and you need an adverb to modify a verb.

Verb: слушать (“to listen”)
Question: как? (“how?”)
Answer: внимательно (“carefully, attentively”)

So:

слушать внимательно – “to listen carefully”

Внимательный / внимательная / внимательное / внимательные are adjectives and would describe a noun:

внимательный человек – “an attentive person”

But we’re describing how the parents listen, not what kind of people they are, so we use the adverb внимательно.

Why is всех used after слушать, and what case is it?

Всех here is the accusative plural of the pronoun все, used for animate objects.

Base pronoun: все – “everyone / all”
Animate accusative plural = same as genitive plural: всех

In Russian, for animate nouns and pronouns, the accusative plural form is identical to the genitive plural. Since we are “listening to people” (animate), we must use that form:

слушать всех = “to listen to everyone / to all of them”

So всех is formally genitive plural in shape, but functionally it is the accusative here.

Could I say когда у детей есть серьёзный конфликт из‑за слов? Does adding есть change the meaning?

You can say it, and it’s grammatically correct. The difference is subtle:

Когда у детей серьёзный конфликт из‑за слов…
– the most neutral, everyday way to say it.
Когда у детей есть серьёзный конфликт из‑за слов…
– adds a slight emphasis on the existence of such a conflict, can sound a bit more pointed or careful in tone.

In many contexts, they will be understood the same, but Russian prefers omitting есть in simple present‑tense “have” / “there is” sentences unless you really want to stress that something does (in fact) exist.

Is the word order у детей серьёзный конфликт fixed, or could it be серьёзный конфликт у детей?

Both are possible, but the nuance changes slightly.

У детей серьёзный конфликт.
- More neutral.
- Focus is on what the children have: “the children have a serious conflict.”
Серьёзный конфликт у детей.
- Brings серьёзный конфликт to the front; sounds a bit more emphatic or contrastive:
- “A serious conflict – that’s what the children have” / “The serious conflict is with the children.”

In your sentence, Когда у детей серьёзный конфликт из‑за слов… is perfectly natural and flows well. Changing the word order here would sound more marked and less typical for this kind of general statement.

Why is the infinitive слушать (imperfective), not a perfective form like послушать?

Imperfective aspect (слушать) is used for:

general rules or habits,
ongoing or repeated actions,
processes without focusing on completion.

Here we’re talking about what parents have to do in such situations in general: they need to listen carefully as a process, not “listen once and be done”.

Perfective послушать would focus on a single, completed act: “to listen (once) for a while”. In this sentence, that would sound strange because we’re expressing a general recommendation/obligation, not a one‑time event.