Learn Hardcore Portuguese (Portugal): A amiga dele é muito racional e ajuda‑o a lidar com o conflito. - His friend is very rational and helps him deal with the conflict.

amiga is the feminine form of amigo (friend).
The definite article must agree with the noun in gender and number:
- a amiga = the (female) friend
- o amigo = the (male) friend

So A amiga tells you the friend is female. If the friend were male, the sentence would be:

O amigo dele é muito racional e ajuda‑o a lidar com o conflito.

What does dele mean, and why not use seu / sua here?

dele literally means of him / his.

de = of
ele = he
dele (contracted) = of him → his

In the sentence:

A amiga dele = his friend (literally “the friend of him”)

Portuguese also has possessive adjectives:

seu / sua / seus / suas = his, her, your, their (all possible!)

But seu / sua are ambiguous. For example:

A sua amiga é muito racional.
Could mean:
- his friend is very rational
- her friend is very rational
- your friend is very rational
- their friend is very rational

Using dele (of him) or dela (of her) removes that ambiguity:

A amiga dele = his friend
A amiga dela = her friend

That’s why dele is very common in European Portuguese when you want to be clear.

What is ajuda‑o, and why is there a hyphen?

ajuda‑o is made of:

ajuda = (she) helps
o = him / it (direct object pronoun, masculine singular)
ajuda‑o = helps him

In European Portuguese, in a normal affirmative sentence, object pronouns usually attach after the verb with a hyphen. This is called enclisis:

ajuda‑o = she helps him
vê‑lo = she sees him/it
chama‑te = she calls you

So the hyphen shows that o is a clitic pronoun attached to the verb.

Why is it ajuda‑o and not o ajuda?

This is a difference between European Portuguese (EP) and Brazilian Portuguese (BP).

In European Portuguese, in simple affirmative sentences without triggers like não, nunca, etc., the pronoun normally goes after the verb with a hyphen:
- Ela ajuda‑o. (standard EP)
In Brazilian Portuguese, the most natural order is usually before the verb:
- Ela o ajuda. (standard BP)

So in Portugal, ajuda‑o is the normal written form here. O ajuda would sound Brazilian or non‑standard in European Portuguese.

Could we say ajuda ele instead of ajuda‑o?

Not in standard European Portuguese.

ajuda‑o is the correct standard form in EP.
ajuda ele (using the strong pronoun ele as direct object) is common in spoken Brazilian Portuguese, but it is not considered correct in formal European Portuguese.

So for European Portuguese:

✅ ajuda‑o
❌ ajuda ele (non‑standard in EP)

Why is the pronoun o and not lo in ajuda‑o?

The direct object pronouns o / a / os / as change form (lo / la / los / las) only after verbs ending in -r, -s, -z (or -em in some cases), where the final consonant is dropped:

amar
- o → amá‑lo (final r disappears, o → lo)
fiz
- o → fi‑lo (final z disappears, o → lo)
traz
- a → trá‑la

But ajuda ends in a vowel a, not in -r, -s, -z, so the pronoun stays o:

ajuda + o → ajuda‑o

So ajuda‑lo would be incorrect here.

What does racional mean exactly? Is it like “reasonable”?

racional means rational, i.e. someone who:

thinks logically
bases decisions on reason, not just emotion
analyzes situations carefully

It is similar to reasonable, but razoável is the closer word to “reasonable” in Portuguese.

Nuances:

racional – guided by logic, reason
razoável – reasonable, fair, not excessive
sensata – sensible, showing good judgment

So muito racional emphasizes that she tends to think analytically and logically.

Why is it é muito racional and not está muito racional?

Portuguese distinguishes between:

ser – essential, permanent or characteristic qualities
estar – temporary states or conditions

Being racional is seen as a relatively stable personality trait, so ser is used:

Ela é muito racional. = She is (by nature / generally) very rational.

Using estar (Ela está muito racional) would sound like:

“She is being very rational (right now / lately)” – a temporary, unusual state.

In this context, the sentence talks about her usual way of being, so é is correct.

What does lidar com mean? Is it always used with com?

lidar com means to deal with / to handle / to cope with.

lidar on its own is rarely used in modern Portuguese with this meaning; the usual expression is lidar com
- noun or situation:

Examples:

Ela sabe lidar com stress. – She knows how to deal with stress.
É difícil lidar com este problema. – It’s difficult to handle this problem.

So yes, in the sense of “deal with”, you almost always say lidar com.

Why is it lidar com o conflito and not just lidar o conflito?

Because lidar in the sense of deal with is used with the preposition com:

lidar com algo = to deal with something

You cannot say lidar algo in this meaning. It must be:

lidar com o conflito – deal with the conflict
lidar com problemas – deal with problems

Without com, it would sound ungrammatical or change meaning in older/rare uses.

Why o conflito (the conflict) and not um conflito (a conflict)?

The definite article o refers to a specific or known conflict:

o conflito = the conflict (the one they both know about: a particular argument, situation, etc.)

If you said:

A amiga dele é muito racional e ajuda‑o a lidar com um conflito.

it would sound like:

“helps him deal with a conflict” – any conflict, a conflict in general, not necessarily a specific one already known in the context.

So o conflito is used here because it’s about a particular, identified conflict.

Why doesn’t racional change to a feminine form like racionala with amiga?

Adjectives in Portuguese fall into classes:

Some change with gender: cansado / cansada, bonito / bonita.
Some are invariable in gender, especially those ending in -al, -ar, -ez, -or (with some exceptions).

racional is one of these invariable adjectives:

um amigo racional – a rational (male) friend
uma amiga racional – a rational (female) friend

So racional stays the same for masculine and feminine; only number changes:

amigo racional / amiga racional
amigos racionais / amigas racionais

Can we leave out muito and just say é racional? What changes?

Yes, you can say:

A amiga dele é racional e ajuda‑o a lidar com o conflito.

This is grammatically correct, but weaker in meaning.

muito = very, highly, really
- muito racional = very rational, strongly rational
- racional = rational (without extra emphasis)

So muito is just an intensifier. Removing it makes the description less strong.