Learn Hardcore Norwegian: Etter skilsmissen følte han seg ofte deprimert, men vennskap hjalp ham videre. - After the divorce he often felt depressed, but friendship helped him move on.

Etter skilsmissen følte han seg ofte deprimert, men vennskap hjalp ham videre.

After the divorce he often felt depressed, but friendship helped him move on.

Breakdown of Etter skilsmissen følte han seg ofte deprimert, men vennskap hjalp ham videre.

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Questions & Answers about Etter skilsmissen følte han seg ofte deprimert, men vennskap hjalp ham videre.

Why is it “skilsmissen” (the divorce) and not just “skilsmisse” (divorce) after “etter”?

Skilsmissen is the definite form: skilsmisse (a divorce) → skilsmissen (the divorce).

Here we mean that particular divorce that he went through, not divorces in general. In Norwegian, you use the definite form in exactly this kind of situation:

Etter skilsmissen følte han seg ofte deprimert.
After the divorce, he often felt depressed.

If you said:

Etter en skilsmisse føler mange seg deprimert.
After a divorce, many people feel depressed.

now it’s a general statement, so the noun is indefinite (en skilsmisse).

Why is the word order “Etter skilsmissen følte han seg …” and not “Etter skilsmissen han følte seg …”?

Norwegian main clauses follow the V2 rule: the finite verb must be in second position in the sentence, no matter what comes first.

In this sentence:

Etter skilsmissen = first element (a time adverbial)
følte = verb (must be second)
han = subject

So: Etter skilsmissen følte han seg … is correct.

You could also make the subject the first element:

Han følte seg ofte deprimert etter skilsmissen.

But you cannot say:

✗ Etter skilsmissen han følte seg ofte deprimert. (verb is not in second place → ungrammatical)

Why do we say “følte han seg” and not just “følte han” or “han følte deprimert”?

The verb is å føle (seg):

å føle noe = to feel something (physically or emotionally)
- Han følte smerte. – He felt pain.
å føle seg + adjektiv = to feel + adjective (to feel a certain way)
- Han følte seg deprimert. – He felt depressed.

When you use å føle seg, you need the reflexive pronoun (meg, deg, seg, oss, dere, seg), because you’re describing how the subject feels in themself:

Jeg føler meg trøtt.
Hun føler seg bedre.
Han følte seg ofte deprimert.

You cannot say:

✗ Han følte ofte deprimert.

If you don’t want the reflexive structure, you change the verb, for example:

Han var ofte deprimert. – He was often depressed.
Han ble ofte deprimert. – He often became depressed.

What’s the difference between “seg” and “ham” here? Why not use “seg” in both places?

They refer to “him” in two different grammatical roles:

følte han seg ofte deprimert
- han = subject
- seg = reflexive pronoun referring back to han
  This describes how he felt himself.
vennskap hjalp ham videre
- vennskap = subject (friendship)
- ham = object (the person who is helped)

Here, the subject is not “he”, it’s “friendship”. So we don’t use the reflexive seg; we use the ordinary object form ham (him).

Compare:

Han hjalp seg selv. – He helped himself. (subject = han, so reflexive seg is possible)
Vennene hans hjalp ham. – His friends helped him. (subject = vennene hans, so we use ham, not seg)

Why is “ofte” placed where it is? Could you say “følte han seg deprimert ofte” instead?

Ofte is a frequency adverb and usually comes after the verb (and subject), but before most of the rest of the predicate.

In this sentence:

Etter skilsmissen følte han seg ofte deprimert …

Typical positions for ofte:

Han er ofte deprimert.
Han føler seg ofte deprimert.
Etter skilsmissen følte han seg ofte deprimert.

Putting ofte at the very end:

… følte han seg deprimert ofte.

is not wrong, but it sounds marked/unusual in Norwegian and may sound like emphasis or slightly unnatural. The neutral place is where it appears in the original: … følte han seg ofte deprimert.

Why is “deprimert” without an -e here? When do adjectives get an -e in Norwegian?

Adjectives in Norwegian have different forms depending on how they are used.

Here deprimert is used predicatively (after a verb, describing the subject):

Han er deprimert.
Han føler seg deprimert.
Han ble deprimert.

In predicative position, the base form (without -e) is used for:

masculine singular
feminine singular
neuter singular
plural

So:

Han er deprimert.
Hun er deprimert.
De er deprimert. (spoken Bokmål; in writing, some prefer deprimerte here, but deprimert is also widely used predicatively)

The -e form is required before a definite noun:

den deprimerte mannen – the depressed man
den deprimerte kvinnen – the depressed woman
de deprimerte vennene – the depressed friends

So “deprimert” is correct in “følte han seg ofte deprimert”, because it comes after the verb and describes how he feels.

Why is it just “vennskap” (friendship) and not “vennskapet” (the friendship) or “vennskapene” (the friendships)?

Vennskap often behaves like a mass noun, describing the concept or quality of friendship in general, not a specific countable instance:

Vennskap er viktig. – Friendship is important.
Vennskap hjalp ham videre. – Friendship helped him move on.

No article = general sense.

If you used vennskapet, you would mean a specific friendship:

Vennskapet mellom dem hjalp ham videre.
The friendship between them helped him move on.

Vennskap can have a plural (vennskap – vennskap – vennskapene), but that’s more for clearly countable relationships:

Han hadde flere nære vennskap. – He had several close friendships.

Could you say “vennskapet hjalp ham videre” instead? How would that change the meaning?

Yes, grammatically it’s fine:

Vennskapet hjalp ham videre.

Then you’re talking about one specific friendship that you and the listener both know about (for example, his friendship with one particular person).

In the original:

Vennskap hjalp ham videre.

this is more general: friendship (in general), possibly several friendships, the support from friends as a whole.

What does “videre” add to the meaning of “hjalp ham”? Could you omit it?

Videre literally means further, onward. In this context, “hjalp ham videre” is close to English:

helped him move on
helped him go forward with his life

Without videre:

Vennskap hjalp ham. – Friendship helped him.

This is correct but more vague. Videre makes it clear that friendship helped him get past the difficult period and continue with his life.

Why is there a comma before “men”? Is punctuation like English here?

Yes, it’s similar to English in this case.

Men = but, and it introduces a new main clause that contrasts with the previous one. Norwegian typically uses a comma before men when it links two main clauses:

Han var trist, men han ga ikke opp.
Etter skilsmissen følte han seg ofte deprimert, men vennskap hjalp ham videre.

So the comma before men here is normal and expected.

Could we say “Etter skilsmissen ble han ofte deprimert” instead of “følte han seg ofte deprimert”? What’s the difference?

Both are correct, but there’s a nuance difference:

Han følte seg ofte deprimert.
Focuses on his subjective feeling. He experienced himself as depressed.
Han ble ofte deprimert.
Literally: he often became depressed. Focuses more on a change of state (he went from not depressed to depressed), and can feel a bit more external/observational.

So:

Etter skilsmissen følte han seg ofte deprimert …
= he often felt depressed (from his own perspective).
Etter skilsmissen ble han ofte deprimert …
= he often became depressed (describes what tended to happen).

Can the same idea be expressed with “var” instead of “følte seg”?

Yes:

Etter skilsmissen var han ofte deprimert, men vennskap hjalp ham videre.

This is perfectly natural and maybe even slightly simpler. The nuance:

var deprimert = was depressed (a state)
følte seg deprimert = felt depressed (how he experienced himself)

Both usually work in context; var is a bit more neutral and less explicitly about subjective feeling.

Is there a version using “friends” instead of “friendship”? How would that change the Norwegian?

Yes, you could make it more concrete by talking about his friends:

Etter skilsmissen følte han seg ofte deprimert, men vennene hans hjalp ham videre.
After the divorce, he often felt depressed, but his friends helped him move on.

Difference in meaning:

vennskap hjalp ham videre – friendship in general; the support of having friendships.
vennene hans hjalp ham videre – his specific friends helped him.