Learn Hardcore Norwegian: Diskusjonen som vi hadde i går, føltes som en liten konflikt. - The discussion that we had yesterday felt like a small conflict.

In this sentence, you are talking about a specific discussion you and the listener both know about (the one you had yesterday). So you must use the definite form: Diskusjonen som vi hadde i går ... = The discussion that we had yesterday ...

What is the role of som in som vi hadde i går?

Som is a relative pronoun, similar to that/which or who in English.

Diskusjonen som vi hadde i går = The discussion *that we had yesterday*

It introduces a relative clause (som vi hadde i går) that gives more information about diskusjonen.

Can we leave out som and just say Diskusjonen vi hadde i går?

Yes, in everyday Norwegian you can omit som in many cases, and it will still be natural:

Diskusjonen vi hadde i går føltes som en liten konflikt.

Both versions are correct. Keeping som is a bit more explicit and sometimes a bit more formal or clear, but omitting it is extremely common in speech.

Why is it hadde and not gjorde like in English “the discussion we did”?

In Norwegian, you usually “have” a discussion, not “do” one.

å ha en diskusjon = to have a discussion
vi hadde en diskusjon = we had a discussion

So som vi hadde i går literally means that we had yesterday. Using gjorde here would be unnatural:
✗ diskusjonen vi gjorde i går – incorrect in this meaning.

Why is the verb føltes and not just følte? What is the difference?

Both forms are related to the verb å føles, which means “to feel” (as in “seem, come across as”).

å føle = to feel (emotionally or physically, more active)
å føles = to feel / to be felt (more like “seem”, often more impersonal)

Føltes is the past tense of å føles:

Det føltes rart. = It felt/It seemed strange.

Using følte would change the meaning a bit:

Vi følte en liten konflikt. = We felt a small conflict (more direct, about your feelings; still a bit odd).
Det/den føltes som en liten konflikt. = It felt like a small conflict (more natural way to talk about how the situation came across).

In the original sentence, føltes is the idiomatic choice.

Why is there a comma before føltes: ... i går, føltes som ...?

The comma separates the long subject from the rest of the sentence.

The full subject here is:

Diskusjonen som vi hadde i går

Then comes the verb:

føltes

Norwegian often uses a comma when the subject is long or contains a relative clause, especially in writing:

Diskusjonen som vi hadde i går, føltes som en liten konflikt.

You may also see it without the comma in informal writing, but the comma is standard and clear.

Could I move i går to the end and say Diskusjonen som vi hadde, føltes som en liten konflikt i går?

You can put i går at the end, but it sounds a bit odd and ambiguous. It could sound like only “the small conflict” part is located in time:

Diskusjonen som vi hadde i går, føltes som en liten konflikt.
→ Clearly: the discussion happened yesterday.
Diskusjonen som vi hadde, føltes som en liten konflikt i går.
→ Could be interpreted as: It felt like a small conflict yesterday (but maybe still feels different now).

If you want to say the discussion itself took place yesterday, keep i går attached to hadde:

som vi hadde i går is the most natural.

Why is it en liten konflikt and not et liten konflikt or ei lita konflikt?

Because konflikt is a masculine noun in Norwegian Bokmål:

indefinite singular: en konflikt
definite singular: konflikten

The adjective liten agrees with masculine:

en liten konflikt

You might see some dialectal or Nynorsk-like variation with feminine forms in other words (ei, lita), but for konflikt, en liten konflikt is the standard Bokmål form.

What is the nuance of en liten konflikt here? Does liten mean “small” literally or “minor”?

Here liten is more about degree than physical size.

en liten konflikt in this kind of context usually means:
- a minor conflict
- a small disagreement
- not a big dramatic fight, but some tension

So it softens the word konflikt a bit. Without liten, en konflikt can sound more serious.

Could I say krangel or uenighet instead of konflikt?

Yes, but the nuance changes slightly:

en krangel = an argument, a quarrel (more emotional, more like “we argued”)
en uenighet = a disagreement (often milder, more neutral)
en konflikt = a conflict (can be interpersonal, but also more general, maybe a bit more formal)

So:

... føltes som en liten krangel.
→ felt like a small fight/argument.
... føltes som en liten uenighet.
→ felt like a small disagreement.
... føltes som en liten konflikt.
→ somewhere in between; a bit formal, suggests tension.

All are grammatically fine; choice depends on the exact tone you want.

Is the word order Diskusjonen som vi hadde i går, føltes ... normal, or should the verb come earlier like in English?

The word order here is completely normal for a main clause in Norwegian:

Subject: Diskusjonen som vi hadde i går
Verb: føltes
Rest: som en liten konflikt

Norwegian basic main-clause order is Subject – Verb – (Object/Adverbials), like English. The subject is just long because it includes a relative clause (som vi hadde i går), but it’s still one subject.

So you cannot move føltes in front like:
✗ Føltes diskusjonen som vi hadde i går som en liten konflikt.
That would be a question in Norwegian, not a statement.