Learn Hardcore Japanese: tuma ha tomodati to issyo ni ryourikyousitu ni kayoihazimemasita. - My wife has started attending a cooking class together with a friend.

In Japanese, when you talk about your own close family (wife, husband, parents, children, etc.), the possessor is usually omitted if it’s obvious from context.

So:

妻は…
is naturally understood as “My wife …” when you are the speaker.

Saying 私の妻は… is not wrong, but sounds more formal or explanatory, for example in a presentation about your family or when you need to make it extra clear whose wife you’re talking about.

In casual or normal conversation, 妻は already implies “my wife” unless the context clearly indicates someone else’s wife.

What is the difference between 妻は and 妻が here? Could I say 妻が友達と一緒に…?

Both are grammatically possible, but the nuance changes:

妻は友達と一緒に料理教室に通い始めました。
- は marks the topic: As for my wife, (she) started going…
- The focus is on what’s happening with your wife. It sounds like you are giving information about her in a broader context.
妻が友達と一緒に料理教室に通い始めました。
- が marks the subject with more focus: It’s my wife who started going…
- This can sound like you’re identifying who did it, possibly in contrast to someone else (e.g. not me, not my daughter, but my wife).

In everyday narration about your family, 妻は is more natural if you’re just updating someone on what your wife has started doing.

What exactly does 通い始めました mean? How is it formed?

通い始めました is:

通い – the ます-stem of the verb 通う (かよう, “to commute / attend regularly”)
始める – a verb meaning “to begin / start”
ました – polite past form

So 通い始めました literally is “began to attend (regularly)” or “started commuting (to).”

Pattern:

V‑ます stem + 始める → “to start V‑ing”
- 勉強し始める – to start studying
- 話し始める – to start talking
- 雨が降り始める – it starts to rain

Here, it expresses that the action of regularly attending the cooking class has started.

What is the difference between 通う and 行く? Why use 通う for a class?

Both can mean “go,” but:

行く – to go (once / in general). No implication of repetition.
- 料理教室に行きました。 – I went to a cooking class (e.g., yesterday, one time).
通う – to go back and forth repeatedly / attend regularly.
- 料理教室に通っています。 – I (regularly) attend a cooking class.
- 会社に通う – to commute to a company
- 学校に通う – to go/attend school

In the sentence:

料理教室に通い始めました。
→ She has started regularly attending the cooking class (not just going once).

Why is there a に after 料理教室? Could I use へ instead?

料理教室に marks the destination / target of 通う (“attend a cooking class”).

に is the default particle with 通う for places you regularly go to:
- 学校に通う
- 会社に通う

You can say 料理教室へ通い始めました, but:

へ emphasizes the direction “toward” more than the idea of being at the location.
With 通う, which already implies regular movement to that place, に is more natural and standard.

So 料理教室に通い始めました is the usual, most natural expression.

What does 友達と一緒に mean exactly? Why do we need both と and 一緒に?

Breakdown:

友達と – “with (a) friend”
一緒に – “together”

Combined: 友達と一緒に = “together with (a) friend.”

Nuance:

友達と料理教室に行きました。
→ I went to the cooking class with a friend. (Implies together, but not emphasized.)
友達と一緒に料理教室に行きました。
→ I went together with a friend to the cooking class. (Stronger sense of “together.”)

Using both と and 一緒に is very common and natural; they reinforce each other to clearly express doing something together with someone.

Why is it 一緒に and not just 一緒? What does the に do there?

一緒に (いっしょに) is a fixed adverbial expression meaning “together (with)”.

一緒 on its own is a noun meaning “togetherness / the same,” but to use it as an adverb modifying the verb (“do X together”), you typically add に:
- 一緒に行く – to go together
- 一緒に食べる – to eat together

So in your sentence:

友達と一緒に通い始めました。
→ “(She) started attending together with a friend.”

Using just 一緒通い始めました would be incorrect; you need 一緒に before the verb.

The sentence has に twice: 一緒に and 料理教室に. Are they the same に?

They are the same particle に, but used in different roles:

一緒に – here に makes 一緒 (“together”) into an adverb:
- “together (do something)”
料理教室に – here に marks the destination / target of the verb 通う:
- “to (the) cooking class”

So:

友達と一緒に – together with a friend (manner)
料理教室に – to a cooking class (destination)

It’s perfectly normal in Japanese to have multiple に particles in one sentence with different functions.

Does 通い始めました mean “started” (completed in the past) or “has started” (still continuing)?

Japanese ました covers both English simple past and present perfect, so context decides.

通い始めました can be:
- “She started attending (at some point in the past).”
- “She has started attending (and is attending now).”

In everyday conversation, when you say someone 通い始めました, it usually implies an ongoing situation: she has recently started and still attends.

If you wanted to clearly show a continuing current action, you might continue with something like:

今も料理教室に通っています。 – She is still going to the cooking class now.

Could the word order be changed, like: 妻は料理教室に友達と一緒に通い始めました? Is that okay?

Yes, Japanese word order before the verb is quite flexible. These two are both natural:

妻は友達と一緒に料理教室に通い始めました。
妻は料理教室に友達と一緒に通い始めました。

Nuance:

The original order slightly groups 友達と一緒に as a chunk before mentioning the destination.
The alternative groups 料理教室に as a chunk before mentioning the companion.

There’s no big meaning difference; both are fine. What must stay is:

The main verb at the end (通い始めました),
And particles attached to the right nouns (e.g., 友達と, 料理教室に).

How do you read each part of the sentence, especially 通い and 料理教室?

Readings:

妻 – つま (tsuma)
は – pronounced わ (wa) when used as the topic particle
友達 – ともだち (tomodachi)
と – と (to)
一緒に – いっしょに (issho ni)
料理教室 – りょうりきょうしつ (ryōri kyōshitsu)
- 料理 – りょうり (ryōri) – cooking
- 教室 – きょうしつ (kyōshitsu) – classroom / class
に – に (ni)
通い始めました
- 通い – かよい (kayo‑i), from 通う – かよう
- 始めました – はじめました (hajimemashita), from 始める – はじめる

So the full sentence is read:

つまはともだちといっしょにりょうりきょうしつにかよいはじめました。

Is using 妻 polite? When should I use 妻 vs 奥さん or 家内?

When referring to your own wife:

妻（つま） – neutral, standard, appropriate in most situations (work, polite conversation, etc.).
家内（かない） – older, humble; still used by some, especially older men.
嫁（よめ） – can mean “my wife” or “my son’s wife”; usage and nuance vary.

When referring to someone else’s wife:

奥さん（おくさん） – polite word for another person’s wife.
奥様（おくさま） – even more polite / honorific.

In your sentence, 妻は… means “my wife” and is a polite, standard way to talk about your own wife in neutral or formal contexts. You would not normally say 奥さんは… about your own wife.