Learn Hardcore Indonesian: Saya tidak mau melukai perasaan teman saya. - I do not want to hurt my friend's feelings.

tidak mau = do not want (to)
- Focuses on your desire/intention.
- The sentence emphasizes: I don’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings.
tidak akan = will not
- Focuses on the future action, like a promise or prediction.
- Saya tidak akan melukai perasaan teman saya = I will not hurt my friend’s feelings (sounds more like a promise or assurance).

So:

Use tidak mau when talking about your inner wish or reluctance.
Use tidak akan when making a promise or stating that something will not happen.

Why is tidak used here and not bukan?

Indonesian has two main negatives:

tidak = negates verbs and adjectives
- Example: tidak mau, tidak cantik, tidak datang
bukan = negates nouns and noun phrases
- Example: bukan dokter, bukan rumah saya

In the sentence:

mau melukai is a verb phrase (want to hurt), so you must use tidak:
- Saya tidak mau melukai…

If you said Saya bukan mau melukai…, it would be wrong in standard Indonesian.

What does mau add here? Could I just say Saya tidak melukai perasaan teman saya?

mau literally means want.

Saya tidak mau melukai perasaan teman saya
= I don’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings. (talks about your intention/wish)

If you drop mau:

Saya tidak melukai perasaan teman saya
= I do not hurt my friend’s feelings / I didn’t hurt my friend’s feelings.
This sounds more like a statement of fact, not about desire.

So:

With mau: “I don’t want to do it.”
Without mau: “I don’t do it / I didn’t do it.”

What is the difference between melukai and menyakiti? Can I say menyakiti perasaan teman saya instead?

Yes, you can say Saya tidak mau menyakiti perasaan teman saya. It is very natural and common.

Nuance:

melukai comes from luka (wound, injury)
- Literally: to wound or injure
- Can be physical or emotional, depending on the object
- melukai perasaan = to wound someone’s feelings (quite idiomatic)
menyakiti comes from sakit (sick, hurt)
- Literally: to hurt (cause pain)
- Very common for both physical and emotional pain
- menyakiti perasaan = to hurt someone’s feelings

In everyday speech, menyakiti perasaan is slightly more common and sounds a bit more neutral. melukai perasaan can sound a little more formal or emotional, like “wound their feelings.” Both are correct.

What does melukai literally consist of? How is the word formed?

melukai is formed like this:

luka = wound, injury
Prefix me- (actually meN-) + root luka
- suffix -i

So:

meN- + luka + -i → melukai

Meaning:

melukai = to wound / to injure / to cause a wound to something
- melukai tangan = to wound (someone’s) hand
- melukai perasaan = to wound someone’s feelings (metaphorical)

This me- + root + -i pattern often means “to do X to something” (apply the action to an object).

What does perasaan literally mean, and how is it formed?

perasaan is formed from:

rasa = taste, feeling, sense
Prefix per-
- root rasa
  - suffix -an

So:

per- + rasa + -an → perasaan

Meaning:

perasaan = feeling(s), emotions, emotional state

Examples:

perasaan sedih = a sad feeling / sadness
perasaan cinta = feeling of love
melukai perasaan = hurt (someone’s) feelings

Note that Indonesian usually doesn’t add -s for plural, so perasaan can be “feeling” or “feelings”, depending on context.

Why is it perasaan teman saya and not perasaan teman saya itu or perasaannya?

All of these are possible, but the nuances differ.

perasaan teman saya
- Neutral: my friend’s feelings
- No extra emphasis or specificity.
perasaan teman saya itu
- Adds itu = that
- Often gives a feeling of specificity or emphasis, like “that friend of mine” or “that friend’s feelings (we’ve been talking about).”
- Used when both speakers know exactly which friend is being referred to.
perasaannya
- perasaan + -nya (the “-nya” can mean his/her/their/the)
- Could stand alone as his/her feelings if the person is already clear:
  - Saya tidak mau melukai perasaannya. = I don’t want to hurt his/her feelings.
- You’d only use perasaannya if you don’t mention teman saya in the same phrase, or you’ve already talked about the person.

In your sentence, perasaan teman saya is the most straightforward way to say my friend’s feelings.

How does possession work in teman saya? Why is it “friend my” instead of “my friend”?

In Indonesian, the possessed noun usually comes first, and the possessor comes after.

teman saya
- teman = friend
- saya = I / me / my
- Literally: friend I → my friend

This pattern is very common:

rumah saya = my house
ayah saya = my father
nama saya = my name

So teman saya is exactly how you say my friend in Indonesian. Saying saya teman means I am a friend, which is different.

Can teman saya also mean “I am a friend” or is it always “my friend”?

teman saya almost always means my friend.

To say I am a friend, you would reverse the order:

Saya teman. = I am a friend.
Or more complete: Saya teman dia. = I am his/her friend.

So:

teman saya = my friend
saya teman = I (am) a friend

Word order is important for meaning in this case.

Is Saya necessary, or can I drop it and just say Tidak mau melukai perasaan teman saya?

You can drop Saya in context, especially in casual speech, if it’s already clear who the subject is.

Saya tidak mau melukai perasaan teman saya.
- Full, clear, neutral.
Tidak mau melukai perasaan teman saya.
- More casual, sounds like spoken Indonesian.
- Often used when it’s obvious that I am the subject (from the situation or previous sentences).

Indonesian often omits pronouns when context makes them clear, but in isolated sentences (like in textbooks) Saya is usually included.

What’s the difference between Saya and Aku here? Could I say Aku tidak mau melukai perasaan teman aku?

Yes, you can, but the style changes:

Saya
- More neutral or formal
- Safe to use in most situations (with strangers, in writing, at work).
Aku
- More informal and intimate
- Used with close friends, family, or in certain regions.

Similarly, for possession:

teman saya = my friend (neutral)
teman aku or temen aku (spoken form) = my friend (informal)

So:

Aku tidak mau melukai perasaan teman aku.
Sounds like casual speech among friends.

In standard neutral style (like in learning materials), Saya … teman saya is preferred.

Why is there no word for “the” or “a” in this sentence?

Indonesian does not have articles like a/an or the.

teman saya can mean:
- my friend
- a friend of mine
  depending on context.

Similarly, perasaan teman saya is simply my friend’s feelings (no “the” or “a/the feelings”).

If Indonesians need to be extra specific, they sometimes use:

itu for something already known or previously mentioned:
- teman saya itu = that friend of mine / that friend

But in general, context tells you whether it’s definite or indefinite.

Can I change the word order, like Saya tidak mau teman saya melukai perasaan?

That would change the meaning:

Saya tidak mau melukai perasaan teman saya.
= I don’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings.
Saya tidak mau teman saya melukai perasaan…
Looks like the beginning of: I don’t want my friend to hurt the feelings (of …)
You’d need to complete it, e.g.:
- Saya tidak mau teman saya melukai perasaan orang lain.
  = I don’t want my friend to hurt other people’s feelings.

So you cannot freely move melukai around in this sentence without changing the structure and meaning. The original sentence’s word order is fixed for that meaning.

Is melukai perasaan teman saya a common phrase in Indonesian, or does it sound too formal?

melukai perasaan is natural and understandable, but the level of formality depends on the overall context:

In everyday conversation, people might more often say:
- menyakiti perasaan teman saya
- bikin teman saya sakit hati (colloquial: “make my friend hurt emotionally”)
- nyakitin perasaan teman saya (spoken / informal)
melukai perasaan sounds slightly more formal or literary, but it is still used in spoken Indonesian, especially when someone is speaking politely or talking about emotions more seriously.

Your sentence is perfectly correct and sounds polite and slightly careful in tone.