Learn Hardcore Indonesian: Kita bisa berbeda pendapat tanpa komentar kasar jika kita berbicara dengan santun. - We can disagree without harsh comments if we speak politely.

If you used kami, it would mean “we (some group that does not include you) can disagree without harsh comments…”, which would sound odd in this context.

What does bisa mean here, and how is it different from dapat or boleh?

In this sentence, bisa means can / be able to in the sense of possibility:

Kita bisa berbeda pendapat = We can disagree / It’s possible for us to have different opinions

Common contrasts:

bisa = can, be able to (ability or possibility)
- Saya bisa datang besok. – I can come tomorrow.
dapat = can, may, manage to (slightly more formal; often interchangeable with bisa)
- Saya dapat datang besok. – I can come tomorrow. (more formal)
boleh = may, be allowed to (permission)
- Saya boleh datang besok? – May I come tomorrow?

In this sentence, boleh could also work:

Kita boleh berbeda pendapat…

That would emphasize permission: It’s okay / It’s allowed for us to disagree, rather than just “it’s possible.” Bisa sticks to possibility/ability.

What does the expression berbeda pendapat literally mean, and is it a fixed phrase?

Literally:

berbeda = to be different
pendapat = opinion

So berbeda pendapat literally means to have different opinions.

Functionally, it’s a common, almost fixed expression meaning:

to disagree
to differ in opinion

You could also say:

memiliki pendapat yang berbeda – to have a different opinion
punya pendapat berbeda – (more informal) have a different opinion

But berbeda pendapat is compact, natural, and widely used in both spoken and written Indonesian.

How does tanpa work grammatically in tanpa komentar kasar?

Tanpa means without and behaves like a preposition.

Pattern:
> tanpa + noun phrase

In the sentence:

tanpa komentar kasar

tanpa = without
komentar kasar = harsh comments (literally: “rough/impolite comments”)

So grammatically, it’s:

preposition (tanpa)
followed by a noun phrase (komentar kasar)

You don’t normally use tanpa directly before a verb in Indonesian. If you need a verb, you’d usually turn it into a noun phrase, for example:

tanpa mengeluarkan komentar kasar – without making harsh comments
tanpa berkomentar kasar – without commenting harshly

Why isn’t there yang between komentar and kasar (why not komentar yang kasar)?

Both are possible, but slightly different in feel:

komentar kasar
komentar yang kasar

komentar kasar is the more common, simple noun phrase:
> adjective (kasar) directly modifies the noun (komentar)

komentar yang kasar adds a tiny bit of emphasis or specificity, like “comments that are harsh.” It can sound slightly more formal or more focused, as if you are distinguishing harsh comments from other kinds of comments.

In this sentence, komentar kasar is perfectly natural and normal. Adding yang is grammatically correct but not necessary.

What is the difference between jika and kalau in this kind of sentence?

Both jika and kalau can mean if.

jika: more formal, commonly used in writing, speeches, or careful language
kalau: more informal, very common in everyday spoken Indonesian

So:

Jika kita berbicara dengan santun…
Kalau kita berbicara dengan santun…

Both mean If we speak politely….

In casual conversation, kalau is probably more frequent. The sentence as given, with jika, sounds slightly more formal or “standard.”

Why is kita repeated? Could you say …jika berbicara dengan santun instead of …jika kita berbicara dengan santun?

Yes, you can omit the second kita:

Kita bisa berbeda pendapat tanpa komentar kasar jika kita berbicara dengan santun.
Kita bisa berbeda pendapat tanpa komentar kasar jika berbicara dengan santun.

Both are grammatical.

Differences:

With kita: explicit and clear that we are the ones speaking politely.
Without kita: still understood as “we” from context, but slightly more general in tone, like “when speaking politely” as a general situation.

Indonesian often drops pronouns when the subject is clear from context, so the shorter form is quite natural in speech.

Is there a difference between berbicara and bicara?

berbicara and bicara are closely related.

berbicara: full verb form, slightly more formal
bicara: shorter, more informal/colloquial

In many contexts, they can be used interchangeably:

Dia berbicara dengan pelan.
Dia bicara pelan.

Both mean “He/She speaks softly.”

In the given sentence, you could also say:

…jika kita bicara dengan santun.

This sounds a bit more casual. The version with berbicara feels a bit more neutral or formal.

What does dengan santun mean exactly, and how does it compare to words like sopan?

dengan santun literally means with politeness, so functionally it means:

politely
in a polite manner

Related words:

santun = polite, courteous, refined in behavior/speech (slightly formal word)
sopan = polite/well-mannered (very common)
sopan santun = manners, etiquette

You could also say:

berbicara dengan sopan – speak politely
berbicara sopan-sopan (more informal) – speak politely / nicely

santun often has a nuance of being refined, respectful, and well-mannered, not just “not rude.” It fits well in more formal or moral/ethical statements, like encouraging good behavior.

Can we change the word order to put the if clause at the beginning, like in English?

Yes. Indonesian allows both orders:

Main clause first: > Kita bisa berbeda pendapat tanpa komentar kasar jika kita berbicara dengan santun.
If-clause first: > Jika kita berbicara dengan santun, kita bisa berbeda pendapat tanpa komentar kasar.

Both are natural and mean the same. When the jika/kalau clause comes first, it’s common (though not mandatory) to use a comma after it in writing, just like in English.

What is the overall level of formality of this sentence? Would it sound natural in everyday conversation?

The sentence is neutral to slightly formal:

kita – neutral/inclusive
bisa – neutral
berbeda pendapat – neutral, common
tanpa komentar kasar – neutral
jika – a bit formal compared to kalau
berbicara dengan santun – slightly formal/ethical tone

In everyday conversation, people might say something like:

Kita boleh beda pendapat, tapi jangan kasih komentar kasar.
Kalau kita bicara sopan, kita bisa kok beda pendapat tanpa marah-marah.

So yes, the original sentence is natural, but feels more like something you’d see in writing, in a speech, or in a polite discussion about good behavior.