Learn Hardcore Indonesian: Dia mendengarkan perasaan saya dengan sabar sehingga saya merasa damai. - He/She listens to my feelings patiently so that I feel at peace.

Dia can mean he, she, or even they (singular, gender-neutral). Indonesian third-person pronouns do not show gender.
You only know whether it’s “he” or “she” from context (who you are talking about). Without context, dia is just “that person / he / she” in a gender-neutral way.

What is the difference between mendengar and mendengarkan? Why is mendengarkan used here?

Both come from the root dengar (to hear).

mendengar: to hear; can also mean to listen, but more neutral.
mendengarkan: to listen to something/someone with attention; clearly takes an object.

In this sentence, mendengarkan perasaan saya suggests “listening to my feelings” in an attentive, caring way, which fits the emotional context better than the more neutral mendengar. In everyday speech, you will hear both, but mendengarkan often feels more deliberate and “active.”

Why is it perasaan saya (“my feelings”) and not just saya (“me”) after mendengarkan?

Indonesian often uses a noun + possessor structure where English might just say “me”.

mendengarkan saya = listen to me (as a person)
mendengarkan perasaan saya = listen to my feelings (what I feel, my emotions)

The sentence wants to emphasize that the person is not just listening to you talk, but specifically listening to your feelings, so perasaan saya is chosen.

Could you say Dia mendengarkan saya dengan sabar instead? Would that still be correct?

Yes, Dia mendengarkan saya dengan sabar is grammatically correct and natural. It means “He/She listened to me patiently.”
However, it’s less specific: the focus is on you as a person. The original Dia mendengarkan perasaan saya dengan sabar focuses more on your inner feelings, which sounds more emotional and intimate.

What does dengan sabar literally mean, and why do we use dengan here?

Literally:

dengan = with
sabar = patient

So dengan sabar is literally “with patience”, but functionally it acts like an adverb: “patiently.”

Indonesian often forms adverb-like expressions using dengan + adjective/noun, for example:

dengan pelan = slowly
dengan hati-hati = carefully

So dengan sabar is the natural way to say “patiently” here.

Could we say Dia mendengarkan perasaan saya sabar without dengan?

No, Dia mendengarkan perasaan saya sabar is not natural.
To modify the verb with sabar, you normally use dengan sabar. Without dengan, sabar tends to describe a noun (e.g. Dia orang yang sabar – “He/She is a patient person”), not how the action is done.
So for “listened patiently,” you should keep dengan sabar.

What does sehingga mean here, and how is it different from jadi or makanya?

In this sentence, sehingga means “so that / so / as a result” and introduces a result clause:

Dia mendengarkan perasaan saya dengan sabar
sehingga
saya merasa damai.
= He/She listened patiently, so (as a result) I felt peaceful.

Compared with others:

sehingga – more neutral, often used in writing; clearly shows result.
jadi – very common in speech, more casual: “so / therefore”.
makanya – “that’s why”; often used to explain a reason in a more conversational way.

You could say … jadi saya merasa damai in informal speech; sehingga sounds a bit more formal or written.

Why do we need merasa before damai? Can we just say sehingga saya damai?

Merasa means “to feel”. So saya merasa damai = “I feel peaceful.”

Saya damai is grammatically possible but unusual in everyday speech; it sounds like a statement about your state or identity (almost “I am peace / I am a peaceful [entity]”), not about your current feeling.
To express a temporary emotional state like “I feel at peace,” Indonesian usually uses merasa + adjective:

Saya merasa sedih – I feel sad.
Saya merasa senang – I feel happy.
Saya merasa damai – I feel peaceful.

So merasa is natural and important here.

Is damai an adjective or a noun here? What nuance does it have?

In this sentence, damai functions like an adjective meaning “peaceful / at peace.”
It can also be a noun in other contexts, meaning “peace” (as a concept), for example perdamaian dunia – “world peace.”
Here, with merasa damai, you should understand it as “feel peaceful / feel at peace,” describing your emotional state.

Can the word order be changed, for example Dia dengan sabar mendengarkan perasaan saya?

Yes, Indonesian word order is fairly flexible with adverbial phrases like dengan sabar. All of these are acceptable and natural:

Dia mendengarkan perasaan saya dengan sabar.
Dia dengan sabar mendengarkan perasaan saya.

Both mean the same thing; the difference is just slight emphasis. Putting dengan sabar earlier can emphasize the manner a bit more, but it’s a subtle nuance. The original order is very standard.

Why is saya used instead of aku? Would aku be okay?

Saya and aku both mean “I / me”, but:

saya – more formal, polite, neutral; safe in almost any situation.
aku – more informal, intimate, used with friends, family, or people your age/younger.

Grammatically, you could say:

Dia mendengarkan perasaan aku dengan sabar sehingga aku merasa damai.

But in correct written Indonesian you’d usually say:

Dia mendengarkan perasaanku dengan sabar sehingga aku merasa damai.

(perasaanku = perasaan + ku, “my feelings”).
The original sentence with saya sounds polite and neutral.

Can we omit the second saya and just say … sehingga merasa damai?

Yes, in natural Indonesian you can often drop a repeated subject when it’s clear from context. So:

Dia mendengarkan perasaan saya dengan sabar sehingga saya merasa damai.
→ can become
Dia mendengarkan perasaan saya dengan sabar sehingga merasa damai.

The subject of merasa damai is still understood to be saya. This shorter version is common in speech and informal writing, as long as the meaning remains clear.