Learn Hardcore Greek: Μετά το μπάνιο σκουπίζομαι με μια πετσέτα και πλένω τα χέρια μου με σαπούνι. - After the bath I dry myself with a towel and wash my hands with soap.

Σκουπίζομαι is the middle / reflexive form and means I wipe myself / I dry myself.
In Greek, the reflexive idea (myself, yourself, etc.) is very often expressed with the middle-passive ending -ομαι, not with a separate reflexive pronoun like “myself”.

So:

Μετά το μπάνιο σκουπίζομαι = After the bath, I dry myself.
If you said σκουπίζω here, it would sound like “After the bath, I wipe [something] with a towel” and listeners would wait to hear the object.

What does μετά το μπάνιο literally mean, and why do we have the article το there?

Literally, μετά το μπάνιο is:

μετά = after
το = the (neuter singular definite article, accusative)
μπάνιο = bath

So word‑for‑word: after the bath.

In English we usually say after bathing or after a bath, often without “the”.
In Greek, when μετά is followed by a noun, that noun almost always takes the definite article:

μετά το φαγητό = after (the) food / after eating
μετά τη δουλειά = after (the) work / after work

This is just the natural Greek pattern. Using the definite article here doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a specific, unique bath; it’s just how Greek structures the phrase.

Could we also say μετά από το μπάνιο? Is there any difference from μετά το μπάνιο?

Yes, you can say μετά από το μπάνιο. Both are correct.

μετά το μπάνιο – a bit shorter and quite common, especially in writing.
μετά από το μπάνιο – very common in everyday speech; από makes the sequence (“after from…”) feel a little more explicit, but the meaning is the same.

In this sentence, Μετά το μπάνιο σκουπίζομαι… and Μετά από το μπάνιο σκουπίζομαι… are both perfectly natural.

How is σκουπίζομαι formed and how do we conjugate it?

The verb is σκουπίζω (to wipe), and its middle/passive form is σκουπίζομαι (to wipe myself, to be wiped).

Present tense of σκουπίζομαι:

εγώ σκουπίζομαι – I dry myself
εσύ σκουπίζεσαι – you dry yourself
αυτός/αυτή/αυτό σκουπίζεται – he/she/it dries himself/herself/itself
εμείς σκουπιζόμαστε – we dry ourselves
εσείς σκουπίζεστε – you (pl./formal) dry yourselves
αυτοί/αυτές/αυτά σκουπίζονται – they dry themselves

You will also meet the aorist (simple past):

σκουπίστηκα = I dried myself (once, completed).

In this sentence, the present is used to describe a usual sequence of actions.

Why is it με μια πετσέτα and not με μία πετσέτα or με την πετσέτα?

Μια / μία is the indefinite article for feminine nouns (“a / one”):

μια πετσέτα = a towel
μία πετσέτα is the same word; μία is the fully written/stressed form, usually used when we emphasize “one (and not two)”.

In everyday writing, for an ordinary “a towel” without emphasis on the number, you normally see μια πετσέτα.

Why not την πετσέτα?

με μια πετσέτα = with a towel (any towel, not specific)
με την πετσέτα = with the towel (a specific one that we both know about)

In the example, we are talking about the typical action, not a particular towel, so μια πετσέτα is more natural.

Why is πετσέτα in the form πετσέτα and not something like πετσέτας?

The form πετσέτα here is accusative singular feminine, because:

The preposition με (with) in modern Greek is followed by the accusative case.
πετσέτα is a feminine noun of this pattern:
- Nominative: η πετσέτα (the towel – subject)
- Genitive: της πετσέτας (of the towel)
- Accusative: την πετσέτα (the towel – object)

When you add μια, the form is the same in nominative and accusative:

μια πετσέτα (nom./acc.)

So με + μια πετσέτα is correct: με + accusative.

Why is it πλένω τα χέρια μου and not πλένω τα χέρι μου or πλένω το χέρι μου?

The noun χέρι (hand) works like this:

Singular: το χέρι – the hand
Plural: τα χέρια – the hands

In the sentence we mean both hands, so Greek uses the plural:

πλένω τα χέρια μου = I wash my hands.

Saying:

πλένω το χέρι μου = I wash my hand (one hand – unusual unless the context is special).
πλένω τα χέρι μου is grammatically wrong; you can’t mix plural article τα with singular noun χέρι.

For body parts, Greek very often uses the plural, just like English:

τα πόδια μου = my feet/legs
τα δόντια μου = my teeth

Why is μου placed after τα χέρια and not before, like μου πλένω τα χέρια?

In Greek, possession with body parts is normally expressed using this pattern:

article + noun + possessive pronoun

So:

τα χέρια μου = the hands my = my hands
το σπίτι μου = my house
η μητέρα μου = my mother

The possessive pronoun (μου, σου, του, της, μας, σας, τους) almost always comes after the noun.

Μου πλένω τα χέρια is ungrammatical.
If you wanted to put the possessive in front of the verb, you would need a clitic pronoun construction, but that would duplicate the meaning and sound strange here. The natural way is:

Πλένω τα χέρια μου. = I wash my hands.

Why is there no article before σαπούνι in με σαπούνι? Why not με το σαπούνι or με ένα σαπούνι?

Here σαπούνι is used like a material / substance, in a general sense:

με σαπούνι = with soap (using soap, in general)

In Greek, when we talk about a material or an indefinite substance used to do something, we often omit the article:

πίνω νερό = I drink water
γράφω με μολύβι = I write with pencil / in pencil
πλένω τα πιάτα με σαπούνι = I wash the dishes with soap

If you say:

με το σαπούνι = with the soap (a specific bar/bottle of soap we both know about)
με ένα σαπούνι = with a bar of soap / with a soap (one soap)

Those are possible, but they sound more concrete or specific. In the original sentence, we describe a typical action done with soap in general, so the bare noun σαπούνι is natural.

What tense are σκουπίζομαι and πλένω here? Could we use other tenses like σκουπίστηκα or έπλυνα?

In the sentence:

σκουπίζομαι – present tense, middle/passive
πλένω – present tense, active

The present tense in Greek is used both for:

things happening right now, and
habitual or typical actions.

Here the sentence describes a usual routine: After my bath, I (normally) dry myself and wash my hands with soap.

For a specific completed event in the past, you would typically use the aorist (simple past):

Μετά το μπάνιο σκουπίστηκα με μια πετσέτα και έπλυνα τα χέρια μου με σαπούνι.
= After the bath, I dried myself with a towel and washed my hands with soap.

So:

Present: σκουπίζομαι, πλένω – habit/routine or current action.
Aorist: σκουπίστηκα, έπλυνα – one completed action in the past.

Can we change the word order, for example Μετά το μπάνιο με μια πετσέτα σκουπίζομαι or Σκουπίζομαι μετά το μπάνιο με μια πετσέτα?

Greek has relatively flexible word order, especially for adverbial phrases like μετά το μπάνιο and με μια πετσέτα. Several orders are possible and correct:

Μετά το μπάνιο σκουπίζομαι με μια πετσέτα… (original)
Μετά το μπάνιο με μια πετσέτα σκουπίζομαι και πλένω τα χέρια μου με σαπούνι.
Σκουπίζομαι με μια πετσέτα μετά το μπάνιο και πλένω τα χέρια μου με σαπούνι.

All are grammatical. The differences are mostly about rhythm and emphasis; the original version is very natural and clear.

Parts you normally don’t break are:

The preposition with its noun:
- μετά το μπάνιο should stay together.
- με μια πετσέτα should stay together.
The noun with its possessive:
- τα χέρια μου should not be split.

What is the difference between μπάνιο and ντους? Could we say μετά το ντους instead?

Yes, you can say μετά το ντους; it is very common.

Differences:

μπάνιο
- Literally “bath”, but in everyday speech it often means “bath or shower” in general:
  - Κάνω μπάνιο. = I’m having a bath / shower.
ντους
- Borrowed from French/English “douche / douche / shower”.
- More specifically refers to a shower.

So:

Μετά το μπάνιο σκουπίζομαι… can mean after I bathe/shower.
Μετά το ντους σκουπίζομαι… clearly means after the shower.

Both are natural; μπάνιο is a bit broader in meaning.

Why is σκουπίζομαι reflexive but πλένω is not? Could we also say πλένομαι?

There are two related verbs:

πλένω = I wash (something)
πλένομαι = I wash myself / I get washed

In your sentence:

πλένω τα χέρια μου με σαπούνι
Literally: I wash my hands with soap.

Here, the object τα χέρια μου is explicitly stated, so Greek prefers the active form πλένω.

If you use πλένομαι, you usually mean I wash myself (body, in general), without specifying a direct object:

Μετά το μπάνιο πλένομαι με σαπούνι.
= After the bath I wash (myself) with soap.

So:

With a specific body part as an object: πλένω τα χέρια μου.
Talking generally about washing yourself: πλένομαι is common.

Your sentence is natural and idiomatic as it is.