Learn Hardcore Danish: Når søskende skændes, prøver onklens rolige ord at hjælpe dem. - When siblings argue, the uncle’s calm words try to help them.

It normally refers to at least two children of the same parents.
It does not distinguish between gender; it covers brothers, sisters, or a mix.
It can function as both singular collective (“a group of siblings”) and plural (“siblings in general”), but in practice you almost always understand it as plural in a sentence like this.

So Når søskende skændes = When siblings argue (in general), not “when a single sibling argues.”

Why is there no article before søskende? Why not når de søskende skændes or når søskenderne skændes?

There is no article because søskende is used in a general, generic sense:

Når søskende skændes = When siblings argue (any siblings, in general).

Danish often omits articles when you talk about people in general, especially in the plural:

Børn leger udenfor. – Children are playing outside.
Lærere arbejder meget. – Teachers work a lot.
Når søskende skændes – When siblings argue.

If you said:

Når de søskende skændes or Når søskenderne skændes,
you’d be referring to some specific, known siblings (the ones we already have in mind), not siblings in general. That changes the meaning.

What exactly does skændes mean, and why does it end in -s?

Skændes means to argue / to quarrel (with each other).

The -s at the end is not a passive here; it’s part of a group of verbs sometimes called “deponent” or “reciprocal” verbs in Danish. These verbs:

Always appear with -s in their normal forms.
Often have a meaning that involves each other or some kind of reflexive/reciprocal action.

Common examples:

skændes – to argue (with each other)
slås – to fight (with each other)
sammenlignes med – to be compared with

So søskende skændes literally has the idea “siblings are quarreling with each other” built in; you do not need to add hinanden (“each other”).

Why is the verb order prøver onklens rolige ord and not onklens rolige ord prøver?

Danish main clauses follow the V2 rule: the conjugated verb must be in second position in the clause.

Your sentence has two clauses:

Subordinate clause: Når søskende skændes – “When siblings argue”
Main clause: prøver onklens rolige ord at hjælpe dem – “…the uncle’s calm words try to help them.”

Because a subordinate clause is placed first, the whole subordinate clause counts as position 1 in the main-clause word order. Then:

Position 1: Når søskende skændes (the entire subordinate clause)
Position 2: prøver (the conjugated verb)
Then comes the subject: onklens rolige ord

So you get:

Når søskende skændes, prøver onklens rolige ord at hjælpe dem.

If you started with the subject instead, you’d say:

Onklens rolige ord prøver at hjælpe dem, når søskende skændes.

Here, onklens rolige ord is in position 1, and prøver stays in position 2 – still obeying the V2 rule.

What is onklens exactly? Why do we add -s instead of using af onklen?

Onklens is the genitive (possessive) form of onkel (uncle).

onkel – uncle
onklens – the uncle’s (belonging to the uncle)

In Danish, the normal way to express possession is to add -s to the noun:

Peters bog – Peter’s book
min søsters ven – my sister’s friend
onklens ord – the uncle’s words

You can use af (“of”) in some expressions, but it is less common and often sounds heavier or more formal, especially with people:

ordene af onklen would be grammatically possible but stylistically odd here. The natural form is onklens ord.

Also note: when you use a possessive like onklens, you do not add a definite ending or a separate article:

onklens ord (correct)
onklens ordene or de onklens ord (incorrect)

Why is it rolige ord, not rolig ord?

The adjective rolig (“calm”) changes form depending on number, definiteness, and possessives.

Basic pattern:

en rolig mand – an calm man (common gender, indefinite, singular)
et roligt barn – a calm child (neuter, indefinite, singular)
rolige mænd / rolige børn – calm men / calm children (plural)
den rolige mand / det rolige barn / de rolige børn – the calm …
After possessives and genitives, you also use the -e form:
- min rolige onkel
- onklens rolige ord

In your sentence:

ord is plural (words).
It is modified by a genitive: onklens.
In that situation you must use rolige, the -e form.

So: onklens rolige ord (the uncle’s calm words).

How do we know ord is plural here, since singular and plural look the same?

Ord is one of those Danish nouns whose singular and plural forms are identical:

et ord – a word
ord – words (plural indefinite)
ordet – the word
ordene – the words

In onklens rolige ord, you know it’s plural because:

The adjective rolige is the plural/definite/possessive form.
Semantically, it makes more sense that the uncle has several words, not just one.
With a genitive + bare noun, you often get an indefinite plural reading:
- onklens ord – the uncle’s words
- lærerens bøger – the teacher’s books

So the phrase is naturally understood as “the uncle’s calm words” (plural).

What is the function of at in at hjælpe, and can it ever be omitted after prøver?

At here is the infinitive marker, similar to English “to” in “to help”.

hjælpe – help (bare infinitive form)
at hjælpe – to help

With prøve, the normal construction is prøve at + infinitive:

prøver at hjælpe – tries to help
prøver at forstå – tries to understand

In standard written Danish, you generally do not omit at after prøve. In casual spoken Danish, you might hear something like “jeg prøver hjælpe”, but this is considered informal/colloquial and not correct in careful writing.

So the correct form here is prøver at hjælpe.

Why is it dem and not de at the end of the sentence?

De and dem are different forms of the third-person plural pronoun:

de – subject form (like English they)
dem – object form (like English them)

In your sentence:

The subject of the main clause is onklens rolige ord (the uncle’s calm words).
hjælpe is the verb in the infinitive.
dem is the object of hjælpe (the ones being helped).

So, at hjælpe dem = to help them.

If you used de instead, it would sound as if they were the subject of the infinitive, which is not the case here.

Why is there a comma after Når søskende skændes?

Because Når søskende skændes is a subordinate clause (introduced by når, “when”), and it comes before the main clause.

Standard Danish comma rules (the newer rules that most people use now) say:

Put a comma before a main clause that follows a fronted subordinate clause.

So:

Når søskende skændes, (subordinate clause)
prøver onklens rolige ord at hjælpe dem. (main clause)

If you reversed the order, you would normally not have a comma:

Onklens rolige ord prøver at hjælpe dem når søskende skændes.

Why is it når and not da at the beginning?

Danish distinguishes når and da more clearly than English distinguishes when:

når is used for:
- repeated, general situations (present, past, future)
- present or future single events
da is used mainly for:
- a specific, single past event

In your sentence, the meaning is general and repeated: whenever siblings argue (whenever this type of thing happens), the uncle’s calm words try to help them. That fits når perfectly.

If you said Da søskende skændtes, prøvede onklens rolige ord at hjælpe dem, you would be referring to one specific arguing event in the past, in a narrative context. That’s a different meaning.