Learn Hardcore Croatian: Mi se ne želimo seliti, jer nam je obitelj ovdje. - We don’t want to move, because our family is here.

So se is a reflexive pronoun that is part of the verb’s meaning. You’re not just “moving” something abstract; you are moving yourselves from one place to another.

If se belongs to seliti se, why is it not next to seliti? Why is it Mi se ne želimo seliti?

Croatian has a rule that short unstressed words like se, ne, mi, ti, ga, mu, joj, nam etc. (called clitics) move towards the second position in the clause, even if they logically belong to a different verb.

In Mi se ne želimo seliti:

Mi = first stressed word
se has to go into the “second position”
ne (negation) also stays close to the main verb (želimo)
seliti comes at the end

So although se “belongs” to seliti, it appears after Mi because of the general second-position clitic rule, not because its meaning changes.

Could I say Ne želimo se seliti instead of Mi se ne želimo seliti?

Yes, Ne želimo se seliti is also correct and sounds very natural. Here’s how they compare:

Mi se ne želimo seliti.
- Explicit mi emphasizes we (as opposed to someone else):
  → “We don’t want to move.”
Ne želimo se seliti.
- mi is omitted; the verb ending -mo already shows “we”.
- Neutral statement, no special emphasis on we.

Both are good. What you generally cannot do is split ne and želimo with other words in a strange way, like:

✗ Mi ne se želimo seliti. (wrong)
✗ Mi želimo ne se seliti. (wrong in this sense)

Keep ne directly before the main verb: ne želimo. And keep se in the clitic position (usually second in the clause or right after ne + verb cluster).

Why is it seliti and not preseliti? What’s the difference?

Croatian distinguishes aspect:

seliti se – imperfective: to be moving / to move in general (process, repeated, ongoing)
preseliti se – perfective: to move once, to complete the act of moving

In a sentence about wanting (a general or future intention), the imperfective is normal:

Ne želimo se seliti. = We don’t want to be moving / to move (at all).

If you used preseliti se, you’d stress the single completed action:

Ne želimo se preseliti.
→ “We don’t want to (actually) go through with one move / relocation.”

In many everyday contexts, both could be heard, but seliti se is the more neutral choice with željeti when talking about the general idea of moving.

Why do we even say Mi here? Doesn’t želimo already show it’s “we”?

Yes, želimo already encodes we (first person plural), so grammatically Mi is not required:

Ne želimo se seliti. – fully correct.

You use Mi mainly for emphasis or contrast:

Mi se ne želimo seliti, ali oni žele.
→ We don’t want to move, but they do.

So Mi adds focus to who doesn’t want to move. Without it, the sentence is just a neutral statement.

What exactly does nam do in jer nam je obitelj ovdje?

Nam is the dative form of mi (“we, us”):

mi (we) → nam (to us, for us)

In jer nam je obitelj ovdje, it has two roles:

Dative of possession / interest
Literally: “because (to us) the family is here”.
Functionally: “because our family is here”.
It adds a feeling of personal involvement:
It’s our family, important to us; it’s not just some random family.

So nam expresses both possession and emotional relevance.

Could I say jer je naša obitelj ovdje instead? Is the meaning the same?

Yes, jer je naša obitelj ovdje is grammatically correct and understandable. The difference is nuance:

jer nam je obitelj ovdje
- Literally: “because (to us) the family is here”
- Feels more personal, involved, a bit colloquial/natural.
- The focus is: for us, the family (the one that matters to us) is here.
jer je naša obitelj ovdje
- Literally: “because our family is here”
- More straightforwardly possessive, slightly more neutral/formal.
- The focus is on whose family it is (ours), less on the “for us” flavor.

In everyday speech, jer nam je obitelj ovdje sounds very idiomatic.

Why is there a comma before jer, when in English we usually don’t put a comma before because?

Croatian punctuation rules differ from English. In Croatian, subordinate clauses introduced by “jer” (because) are usually separated by a comma:

Mi se ne želimo seliti, jer nam je obitelj ovdje.

This comma marks the start of a reason clause. Omitting it is often seen as a mistake in standard writing, although in quick informal writing you’ll sometimes see it left out.

So:

English: “We don’t want to move because our family is here.” (often no comma)
Croatian: Mi se ne želimo seliti, jer nam je obitelj ovdje. (comma expected)

Why is obitelj singular when in English “family” can behave like a plural (“our family are here”)?

In Croatian, obitelj is grammatically:

feminine singular noun (like kuća, žena)
It takes singular verb agreement in standard Croatian.

So:

Obitelj je ovdje. – The family is here.
(je = 3rd person singular of biti)

Even though obitelj refers to multiple people, grammatically it’s one group, so everything around it stays singular (verbs, adjectives, pronouns that agree with it):

moja obitelj – my family (singular)
velika obitelj – a big family (singular)
moja obitelj je velika. – my family is big.

In some dialects or casual speech, people might sometimes use plural agreement, but the standard is singular.

Can I change the word order in jer nam je obitelj ovdje? For example, jer je obitelj nam ovdje or Obitelj nam je ovdje?

Some changes are natural; some are wrong or very odd.

Within the clause nam je obitelj ovdje:

Obitelj nam je ovdje. – very natural
→ “Our family is here.” (obitelj as topic, ovdje as new info)
Nam je obitelj ovdje. – okay but marked; nam is a clitic and normally doesn’t start the clause unless something is strongly emphasized in front of it.
✗ Jer je obitelj nam ovdje. – sounds wrong/unnatural in standard Croatian.
Clitics like nam should appear early in the clause (2nd position), not stuck after the noun like in English “family to us”.

Good, natural variants:

Mi se ne želimo seliti, jer je obitelj nam ovdje. → unnatural
Mi se ne želimo seliti, jer nam je obitelj ovdje. → natural
Mi se ne želimo seliti, jer je obitelj ovdje. → natural, just omits nam.
Obitelj nam je ovdje, pa se ne želimo seliti. → reordered for emphasis.

Rule of thumb: keep clitics (like nam) right after the first stressed element of the clause whenever possible.

What’s the difference between ovdje, tu, and ovde?

All three can be translated as “here”, but they differ by variety and nuance:

ovdje – standard Croatian word for “here”
tu – also common in Croatian; can mean “here” or “there (near you)” depending on context. Often slightly less formal / more colloquial and can be a bit vaguer than ovdje.
ovde – standard in Serbian, not standard in Croatian.

In your sentence:

… jer nam je obitelj ovdje. – neutral, standard Croatian.
… jer nam je obitelj tu. – also fine, everyday speech, maybe a bit more colloquial.
… jer nam je obitelj ovde. – marks Serbian / non-Croatian standard usage.

How would the sentence change if we did want to move?

You just remove ne (the negation):

Mi se želimo seliti, jer nam je obitelj ovdje.

However, this doesn’t make much sense logically (“We want to move because our family is here”) unless you mean something like “We want to move (to this place) because our family is here.” To make that clearer in Croatian, you’d normally add the destination:

Mi se želimo preseliti ovamo, jer nam je obitelj ovdje.
→ “We want to move here because our family is here.”

Grammar-wise, though, the key point is:

Ne želimo se seliti. → we don’t want to move
Želimo se seliti. → we want to move

Could I replace jer with something else, like zato što? Would it still be correct?

Yes. You can say:

Mi se ne želimo seliti, jer nam je obitelj ovdje.
Mi se ne želimo seliti zato što nam je obitelj ovdje.

Both mean “We don’t want to move because our family is here.”

Nuance:

jer – very common, simple “because”
zato što – often slightly more emphatic or explanatory, like “for the reason that…”

In practice, they’re both used all the time, and in this sentence the difference is very small.