Learn Hardcore Chinese: tā dìyīcì gēn nǚpéngyou zài fàndiàn yuēhuì, wèile zhǎodào héshì de dìdiǎn xiǎng le hěn jiǔ. - The first time he had a date with his girlfriend at a restaurant, he thought for a long time to find a suitable place.

The most natural positions for 第一次 are:
- 他第一次跟女朋友在饭店约会。 (most common)
- 他跟女朋友第一次在饭店约会。 (also possible, but sounds slightly more focused on “the first time at the restaurant”)

Putting 第一次 right after the subject (他第一次…) is the default pattern:
Subject + 第一次 + Verb phrase.

Why is 跟 used here instead of 和 in 跟女朋友在饭店约会? Are 跟 and 和 interchangeable?

Both 跟 and 和 can mean “with” in many contexts.

In this sentence, 跟女朋友约会 literally means “go on a date with his girlfriend.”
跟 often emphasizes “together with / in company with” and is very common in spoken Chinese.
和 is fine here too: 和女朋友在饭店约会 is also acceptable and natural.

Nuances:

跟 sounds a bit more colloquial and is very common in everyday speech.
和 can sound slightly more neutral or written, but in this context they largely overlap.

What does 在 do in 在饭店约会? Is this the standard way to express location?

Yes. 在 + place + Verb is the basic pattern to show where an action happens.

在饭店约会 = “have a date at a restaurant.”
在 marks the location, similar to English “at” / “in”.

Common patterns:

在学校学习 – study at school
在家吃饭 – eat at home
在饭店约会 – have a date at a restaurant

Does 饭店 mean “restaurant” or “hotel”? Why not use 餐厅 or 饭馆?

饭店 can mean either restaurant or hotel, depending on context and region.

In mainland everyday speech, 饭店 often means:
- restaurant, especially a nicer / formal one, or
- hotel (especially “XX饭店” as a hotel name).

Other words:

餐厅 – “dining hall / restaurant,” a bit more formal or neutral.
饭馆 – usually “restaurant,” often smaller or more casual, very colloquial.

In this sentence, with 在饭店约会 and no other context, most learners would understand it as “at a restaurant” (perhaps a nicer place for a date).

Is 约会 a verb or a noun here? Can it be used both ways?

约会 can be both verb and noun.

Here it’s used as a verb:
在饭店约会 – “(to) have a date at a restaurant”.
As a noun, you can also say:
- 我今天有一个约会。– I have a date/appointment today.

So it works like English “date” in “to date someone” and “to have a date.”

What is the function of 为了 in 为了找到合适的地点想了很久? How does this pattern work?

为了 introduces a purpose / goal and usually means “in order to / for the sake of”.

Basic pattern:

为了 + goal，+ action (main clause)

The more standard word order here would be:

为了找到合适的地点，他想了很久。
= In order to find a suitable place, he thought for a long time.

In your sentence, the subject is understood from context, so you get:

…，为了找到合适的地点想了很久。
Literally: “…, (he) thought for a long time in order to find a suitable place.”

Why 找到 and not just 找 in 为了找到合适的地点?

找到 combines:

找 – to look for
到 – a result complement meaning “to successfully reach / achieve”

So:

找 – to look for (process)
找到 – to find (successfully complete the search)

为了找到合适的地点 focuses on the goal of actually finding a suitable place, not just looking around.

What is the difference between 合适 and 适合? Why use 合适 here?

Both relate to “suitable / fitting,” but their grammar roles differ.

合适 is usually an adjective:
- 这个地方很合适。– This place is very suitable.
- 合适的地点 – a suitable place
适合 is usually a verb (or verb-like):
- 这个地方适合约会。– This place suits (is suitable for) dating.
- 这件衣服很适合你。– These clothes really suit you.

In 合适的地点, you need an adjective to modify 地点, so 合适 is correct.
You cannot say 适合的地点 in the same simple way unless you expand it, e.g. 适合约会的地点 (“places suitable for dating”).

Why is there a 的 in 合适的地点? Could you say just 合适地点?

的 is used to connect an adjective (or adjective-like phrase) to a noun:

合适的地点 = “suitable place” (adj + 的 + noun)

In standard modern Chinese, you usually need 的 between an adjective and the noun it modifies, especially when the adjective is more than one syllable or carries emphasis.

Without 的 (合适地点) it sounds incomplete or too clipped in normal speech and writing.
There are exceptions where 的 can be dropped (e.g. 大人, 好人, 小孩子), but 合适地点 is not a common, natural form.

The sentence puts the 为了 phrase after the main clause: 他第一次…约会，为了找到合适的地点想了很久。 Is that word order normal?

This order is understandable, but the most standard and clear structure is:

为了找到合适的地点，他想了很久。

Putting the purpose (为了…) before the main action is more typical:

为了 + goal，+ subject + verb + 了 + duration

Your version:

他第一次跟女朋友在饭店约会，为了找到合适的地点想了很久。

is stylistically a bit looser, like adding an afterthought:
“He had his first date with his girlfriend at a restaurant, and (for that) he thought for a long time in order to find a suitable place.”

For learners, it’s safer to put 为了 at the beginning of the second clause.

What does 了 do in 想了很久? Is it just past tense?

了 here is not simply a “past tense” marker; it marks a completed action.

想了很久 = “(he) thought for a long time (and that thinking is complete)”.

Pattern:

Verb + 了 + duration
expresses that the action lasted for that period and has been completed.
Compare:
他想了很久。– He thought for a long time. (completed, duration emphasized)
他想很久。– grammatical but incomplete; normally you’d say 他想了很久.

So 了 is more about aspect (completion) than grammatical tense.

Why is the duration 很久 placed after the verb in 想了很久? Could it go elsewhere?

Duration expressions normally go after the verb:

Verb + 了 + duration:
- 想了很久 – thought for a long time
- 学了三年汉语 – studied Chinese for three years

You can move it only if you change the structure, e.g.:

他想了很久才决定。– He thought for a long time before deciding.
他想了很久很久。– He thought for a very, very long time. (emphasis)

But the neutral place for duration is still after the verb (and 了).

Does 很 in 很久 literally mean “very”? Why not just 久?

Literally, 很 means “very”, but in many fixed expressions it can soften or naturalize the adjective rather than strongly intensify it.

久 by itself can sound a bit bare or literary in some contexts.
很久 is the common, natural way to say “a (long) time / for a long time” in everyday speech.

So 想了很久 feels much more natural than 想了久.

In 女朋友 (nǚpéngyou), why is the you part written without a tone mark? How is it pronounced?

In 朋友 (friend):

péng is 2nd tone
you is neutral tone (轻声), not yǒu.

That’s why it’s often written péngyou in learning materials:

女朋友 is pronounced nǚ péngyou (3rd tone + 2nd tone + neutral tone).

Neutral tone syllables lose their original full tone and are pronounced shorter and lighter.

Why is it 他 for “he” here even though we’re talking about a girlfriend (女朋友)—is there any confusion with 她?

他 (tā) – “he / him”
她 (tā) – “she / her”

They are pronounced the same (tā), but written differently to show gender in writing.

In 他第一次跟女朋友在饭店约会:

他 = he (the boyfriend / male person)
女朋友 = (his) girlfriend

There’s no grammatical agreement like in some European languages, so you just choose 他 or 她 according to who you’re talking about.