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### Polite Excuses with "Het is dat..."

When you need to decline an invitation like an informal dinner (**het etentje**), a flat "no" can be too blunt. To soften the blow, Dutch speakers often use the phrase **het is dat...** ("it's just that..." or "the only reason is that..."). 

This phrase introduces the obstacle preventing you from attending. Because **dat** is a subordinating conjunction, the conjugated verb is pushed to the end of the clause. 

To complete the excuse, state what you *would* have done if things were different by starting the second clause with **anders** (otherwise). Because **anders** takes the first position in this main clause, the verb comes immediately after it, followed by the subject. To express the hypothetical outcome, Dutch uses the past tense (typically forms of **zijn** or **willen**).

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### Circumstances Beyond Control

Sometimes you have to cancel your attendance (**zich afmelden**) because of circumstances completely out of your hands, known as **de overmacht** (force majeure). 

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### Expressing Regret

When you are forced to skip (**overslaan**) an event, it is customary to express that you feel bad about it. Dutch uses adjectives like **sneu** (a pity) or **spijtig** (regrettable).

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You can also state your regrets straightforwardly without needing a counterfactual **anders** clause.

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In more casual situations, you might simply use **het is dat...** on its own to make an excuse, leaving the hypothetical "otherwise" clearly implied.

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Counterfactual explanations (het is dat…)

adjective

adverb

conjunction

determiner

determiner/pronoun

interjection

noun

numeral

particle

preposition

pronoun

sentence

verb

Singular pronouns and 'to be' (ik ben, hij is)

The formal 'you' (u bent)

Definite articles (de, het)

Plural pronouns and 'to be' (wij zijn)

The verb 'to have' (hebben)

Basic word order

Numbers 1 to 10 (een, twee, drie)

Verb stems and the 'I' form (ik werk)

Long vowels in verb stems (maken, ik maak)

Short vowels in verb stems (zitten, ik zit)

Present tense singular (-t)

Present tense plural (-en)

Yes/no questions

Question words (wie, wat, waar)

Noun negation (geen)

Plural nouns (-en)

Plural nouns (-s)

Diminutives (-je)

Adjective modifiers (heel, erg, te)

Verb negation (niet)

Singular possessives (mijn, jouw, zijn, haar)

Plural and formal possessives (ons/onze, jullie, hun, uw)

This and these (deze, dit)

That and those (die, dat)

Asking which (welke, welk)

Numbers 11 to 20 (elf, twaalf, dertien...)

Tens and compound numbers (dertig, veertig...)

Ordinal numbers 1st to 10th (eerste, tweede...)

Telling time: hours and half hours (uur, half)

Telling time: quarters (kwart over, kwart voor)

Question words (hoeveel, waarom)

Irregular verbs (doen, gaan, staan, zien, komen)

Adjective endings (+e)

Adjectives with 'het' words

Prepositions of place (uit, bij)

Subject-verb inversion

Time before place

Modal verbs (willen, kunnen)

Modal verbs (moeten, mogen)

The verb bracket

Separable prefix verbs

The imperative mood (kom, luister)

Singular object pronouns (mij, jou, hem, haar)

Plural and formal object pronouns (ons, jullie, hen, u)

Reflexive verbs and pronouns (zich, me, je)

Position of negation (niet)

The present perfect tense with regular verbs (hebben gewerkt)

The present perfect tense with motion verbs (zijn gegaan)

Irregular past participles (gezien, gedaan)

The present continuous (zijn aan het)

There is / there are (er is, er zijn)

Unstressed there (er)

And, but, or (en, maar, of)

Because (want)

Months of the year

Prepositions of time (om, van ... tot)

Greetings and politeness

Conversational glue

Prepositions with days (op)

Prepositions with seasons (in)

Genitive of time ('s morgens, 's nachts)

Adverbs of frequency (altijd, vaak)

The future tense (gaan)

The future tense (zullen)

Separable verbs with auxiliary verbs

Apostrophe plurals ('-s)

Irregular plurals (-eren)

Complex diminutives (-pje, -etje, -kje)

Possessive 's (Jan's, vaders)

Indefinite pronouns (iets, niemand, alles)

Indefinite subject pronoun (je)

Reciprocal pronoun (elkaar)

Comparative adjectives (-er dan)

Comparatives with spelling change (-der)

Superlative adjectives (-st)

Irregular comparisons (beter, meer, minder)

Expressing preference (graag, liever, het liefst)

Equality comparisons (even ... als)

Fixed prepositions

That clauses (dat)

Because clauses (omdat)

If and when clauses (als)

Inversion after clauses

Separable verbs in clauses

Negation in clauses (niet)

Past tense of to be (was / waren)

Past tense of to have (had / hadden)

Question	Answer
the dinner (informal)	het etentje
inconvenient	ongelegen
It's just that this dinner is very inconvenient, otherwise I certainly would have come.	Het is dat dit etentje erg ongelegen komt, anders was ik zeker gekomen.
the lack of time	de tijdnood
It's just that we are short on time, otherwise a dinner wouldn't be unthinkable.	Het is dat we in tijdnood zitten, anders was een etentje niet ondenkbaar.
force majeure / circumstances beyond control	de overmacht
to participate (informal)	meedoen
It's just that it really is force majeure, otherwise he would have loved to participate.	Het is dat het echt overmacht is, anders wilde hij graag meedoen.
to excuse oneself / to cancel (one's attendance)	zich afmelden
It's just that it's inconvenient, otherwise she wouldn't want to cancel.	Het is dat het ongelegen komt, anders wilde ze zich niet afmelden.
a pity / sad (evoking sympathy)	sneu
It's just that we are tired enough, otherwise it would be a pity to have to stop.	Het is dat we moe genoeg zijn, anders was het sneu om te moeten stoppen.
to skip	overslaan
regrettable	spijtig
Unfortunately, I have to cancel and skip this training, and I find that regrettable.	Ik moet me helaas afmelden en deze training overslaan, en dat vind ik spijtig.
to stay home	thuisblijven
She preferred to stay home and decided to skip the meeting.	Zij wilde liever thuisblijven en besloot de vergadering over te slaan.
Due to force majeure, we ran out of time with the schedule.	Door overmacht kwamen we in tijdnood met de planning.
I think it's really a pity that you couldn't participate yesterday.	Ik vind het echt sneu dat jullie gisteren niet konden meedoen.
What you are saying is regrettable, because it is very inconvenient.	Datgene wat u zegt is spijtig, omdat het erg ongelegen komt.
Thanks for the invitation, but it's just that I have to stay home.	Bedankt voor de uitnodiging, maar het is dat ik moet thuisblijven.