Polite Excuses with "Het is dat..."
When you need to decline an invitation like an informal dinner (het etentje), a flat "no" can be too blunt. To soften the blow, Dutch speakers often use the phrase het is dat... ("it's just that..." or "the only reason is that...").
This phrase introduces the obstacle preventing you from attending. Because dat is a subordinating conjunction, the conjugated verb is pushed to the end of the clause.
To complete the excuse, state what you would have done if things were different by starting the second clause with anders (otherwise). Because anders takes the first position in this main clause, the verb comes immediately after it, followed by the subject. To express the hypothetical outcome, Dutch uses the past tense (typically forms of zijn or willen).
| It's just that this dinner is very inconvenient, otherwise I certainly would have come. | Het is dat dit etentje erg ongelegen komt, anders was ik zeker gekomen. |
| It's just that we are short on time, otherwise a dinner wouldn't be unthinkable. | Het is dat we in tijdnood zitten, anders was een etentje niet ondenkbaar. |
Circumstances Beyond Control
Sometimes you have to cancel your attendance (zich afmelden) because of circumstances completely out of your hands, known as de overmacht (force majeure).
| It's just that it really is force majeure, otherwise he would have loved to participate. | Het is dat het echt overmacht is, anders wilde hij graag meedoen. |
| It's just that it's inconvenient, otherwise she wouldn't want to cancel. | Het is dat het ongelegen komt, anders wilde ze zich niet afmelden. |
Expressing Regret
When you are forced to skip (overslaan) an event, it is customary to express that you feel bad about it. Dutch uses adjectives like sneu (a pity) or spijtig (regrettable).
| It's just that we are tired enough, otherwise it would be a pity to have to stop. | Het is dat we moe genoeg zijn, anders was het sneu om te moeten stoppen. |
You can also state your regrets straightforwardly without needing a counterfactual anders clause.
| Unfortunately, I have to cancel and skip this training, and I find that regrettable. | Ik moet me helaas afmelden en deze training overslaan, en dat vind ik spijtig. |
In more casual situations, you might simply use het is dat... on its own to make an excuse, leaving the hypothetical "otherwise" clearly implied.
| Thanks for the invitation, but it's just that I have to stay home. | Bedankt voor de uitnodiging, maar het is dat ik moet thuisblijven. |