English has one reciprocal-looking expression, get married. Traditional standard Serbian divides the event according to the subject: женити се / оженити се has a male subject, while удавати се / удати се has a female subject. The two networks are not grammatical mirror images: they use different partner frames, and neutral венчати се is often the clearest choice when gender is irrelevant or the traditional split does not fit.
Four Verbs, Two Aspect Pairs
| Viewpoint | Male subject | Female subject |
|---|---|---|
| imperfective: process, plans, repeated/general event | женити се | удавати се |
| perfective: one marriage reaches its boundary | оженити се | удати се |
Мој брат се жени у септембру, па већ тражи салу за прославу.
My brother is getting married in September, so he is already looking for a reception venue.
Јована се удаје следећег месеца и управо бира венчаницу.
Jovana is getting married next month and is choosing her wedding dress now.
These imperfective presents frame preparation or the event in progress. For the completed transition into marriage, use a perfective verb.
Лука се оженио прошлог пролећа, а сада живи у Краљеву.
Luka got married last spring and now lives in Kraljevo.
Невена се удала после завршетка факултета.
Nevena got married after graduating from university.
The prefix о- forms perfective оженити се, but the female-subject pair is suppletive in practice: learn удавати се / удати се together. There is no useful rule that derives all four forms from one English verb.
Principal Forms
| Verb | Present | l-participle (m./f./n. sg.; m./f./n. pl.) | Imperative | Future I, 1st sg. |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| женити се | женим се, жениш се, жени се, женимо се, жените се, жене се | женио се, женила се, женило се; женили се, жениле се, женила се | жени се, женимо се, жените се | женићу се |
| оженити се | оженим се, ожениш се, ожени се, оженимо се, ожените се, ожене се | оженио се, оженила се, оженило се; оженили се, ожениле се, оженила се | ожени се, оженимо се, ожените се | оженићу се |
| удавати се | удајем се, удајеш се, удаје се, удајемо се, удајете се, удају се | удавао се, удавала се, удавало се; удавали се, удавале се, удавала се | удај се, удајмо се, удајте се | удаваћу се |
| удати се | удам се, удаш се, уда се, удамо се, удате се, удају се | удао се, удала се, удало се; удали се, удале се, удала се | удај се, удајмо се, удајте се | удаћу се |
The gender-incongruent l-participles in the table are morphologically possible, for example when discussing wording or adopting a marked personal perspective, but ordinary traditional usage pairs оженио се with a male referent and удала се with a female referent. For production, learn the forms in their usual frames rather than treating every theoretically formable combination as equally neutral.
The bare imperatives Ожени се! and Удај се! are grammatically ordinary but socially intrusive unless the relationship licenses such advice. Register is determined by situation, not morphology.
The Partner Frames Are Asymmetrical
In careful standard Serbian, оженити се takes the partner as a bare instrumental. Удати се takes за + accusative.
Марко се оженио Аном после седам година забављања.
Marko married Ana after they had dated for seven years.
Ана се удала за Марка после седам година забављања.
Ana married Marko after they had dated for seven years.
These sentences describe the same marriage from different subjects, yet Аном and за Марка are not interchangeable. English gives learners no warning about this government contrast.
In colloquial usage one may encounter оженити се са + instrumental or transitive оженити + accusative for “marry a woman.” Prescriptive contemporary standard favors bare instrumental in the first meaning: оженио се Аном. The unambiguously standard transitive use has a male person as object and means to arrange or bring about his marriage.
Родитељи су желели да ожене сина што пре, али је он одлучио да сачека.
The parents wanted to get their son married as soon as possible, but he decided to wait.
Likewise, transitive удати ћерку means “marry off a daughter.” Both causative frames can evoke traditional family authority, so use them only when that meaning is intended; they are not neutral translations of “X married Y.”
Neutral and Reciprocal Alternatives
Венчати се са + instrumental focuses on marrying or undergoing a wedding ceremony without encoding the subject through the traditional male/female lexical split. Ступити у брак са + instrumental is (formal) and common in administrative or legal prose. Бити у браку describes the resulting state.
Маја и Ива су се венчале у иностранству, а прославу су приредиле код куће.
Maja and Iva got married abroad and held the celebration at home.
Подносилац захтева је ступио у брак са држављанком Србије 2022. године.
The applicant married a Serbian citizen in 2022. (formal)
Они су у браку већ двадесет година, али никада нису правили велику свадбу.
They have been married for twenty years, but they never had a big wedding.
Венчати се and ступити у брак are not evasions or lesser alternatives; they simply package different information. Serbian, Croatian, Bosnian, and Montenegrin usage shares much of this vocabulary, but individual speakers and communities differ in how readily they use the traditional gendered verbs. Describe the referent accurately and follow the person’s preferred wording when that is known.
Ожењен, удата, and Resulting State
The conventional adjectives are ожењен for a married man and удата for a married woman. Both agree for case within the noun phrase: са ожењеним колегом, о удатој сестри. Gender-neutral у браку avoids choosing either adjective.
Мој старији брат је ожењен, а млађи тренутно не планира брак.
My older brother is married, while the younger one is not currently planning to marry.
Да ли сте у браку? — Да, венчали смо се пре три године.
Are you married? — Yes, we got married three years ago.
Do not use the perfective present ожени се / уда се as a current-state copula. It normally refers to a future or generic completed event, as in кад се ожени “when he gets married.”
Clitic Placement and Dropped је
The lexical се occupies the normal second-position clitic slot. In the affirmative third-person singular perfect, је is omitted beside се: Марко се оженио, Јована се удала. It returns inside negative није.
Тамара се није удала за свог тадашњег вереника; раскинули су пре венчања.
Tamara did not marry her fiancé at the time; they broke up before the wedding.
Other persons retain their auxiliary: оженио сам се, удала си се, венчали смо се. See perfect word order for the complete cluster logic.
Micro-dialogue
„Чуо сам да се Милош жени.“ — „Да, ожениће се Соњом у јуну.“ — „А где ће се венчати?“ — „У Новом Саду, а после ће славити у Сремским Карловцима.“
‘I heard that Miloš is getting married.’ — ‘Yes, he’ll marry Sonja in June.’ — ‘And where will they have the wedding?’ — ‘In Novi Sad, and afterward they’ll celebrate in Sremski Karlovci.’
Here imperfective жени се presents the announced plan, perfective ожениће се the future transition, and neutral венчати се the ceremony itself.
Practice Tasks
Task 1: Change the subject, then the government
Describe one marriage first with a male subject and оженити се, then with a female subject and удати се. Change the partner from instrumental to за + accusative rather than translating word for word.
Task 2: Choose a neutral frame
Rewrite two traditional gendered sentences with венчати се са + instrumental and ступити у брак са + instrumental. Label the second version formal and explain what each construction foregrounds.
Common Mistakes
❌ Ненад је оженио са Јеленом прошлог лета.
Incorrect — for a male subject getting married, standard Serbian needs reflexive се and bare instrumental.
✅ Ненад се оженио Јеленом прошлог лета.
Nenad married Jelena last summer.
❌ Јелена се удала Ненадом прошлог лета.
Incorrect — удати се selects за + accusative, not a bare instrumental partner.
✅ Јелена се удала за Ненада прошлог лета.
Jelena married Nenad last summer.
❌ Милан се је оженио одмах после факултета.
Incorrect — је is omitted next to се in the affirmative third-person singular perfect.
✅ Милан се оженио одмах после факултета.
Milan got married immediately after university.
❌ Ивана је ожењена већ пет година.
Incorrect in the traditional standard gendered adjective system — use удата or the neutral phrase у браку.
✅ Ивана је у браку већ пет година.
Ivana has been married for five years.
Key Takeaways
- Male-subject женити се / оженити се contrasts with female-subject удавати се / удати се.
- Standard partner government is оженити се + instrumental but удати се за + accusative.
- Венчати се са + instrumental is a productive neutral frame; ступити у брак са is formal.
- Се remains in second position, and affirmative third-singular је drops: оженио се, удала се.
- Transitive оженити сина / удати ћерку means “marry off,” not simply “marry a partner.”
Now practice Serbian
Reading grammar gets you part of the way. The exercises are where it sticks — free, no signup needed.
Start learning Serbian →Related Topics
- Reflexive Verbs (se-verbs)A2 — The many functions of the clitic se on verbs.
- Perfect Tense Word Order and the Dropped jeB1 — Placing the auxiliary clitic and the je-deletion rule.
- Aspectual Pairs versus Related VerbsB1 — A focused guide to aspectual pairs versus related verbs in Serbian.
- Instrumental: Means and AccompanimentA2 — The 'by means of' and 'with someone' functions.
- Family and RelationshipsA2 — Kinship terms and talking about family.