Quem is the relative pronoun reserved for people. Coming from English, where who and whom do much of the work of introducing relative clauses about humans, you might expect quem to do the same. It doesn't. In Portuguese, quem has a narrow and specific distribution: it appears almost exclusively after prepositions (a quem, de quem, com quem, por quem) and as a free relative meaning whoever / the one who. For a plain preposition-less relative clause, Portuguese uses que even when the antecedent is a person. Getting this right is one of the key markers of an intermediate speaker — it requires unlearning an English instinct.
Quem refers only to people
This is the one hard rule that never breaks. Quem is for humans, personified beings (a pet addressed emotionally, a deity, a personified concept), and occasionally for institutions treated as agents. Never for things or abstract concepts.
Foi o Pedro a quem eu dei o livro.
It was Pedro I gave the book to. (a person)
A pessoa com quem estou a falar é a minha tia.
The person I'm talking to is my aunt.
O deus a quem rezavam os romanos era Júpiter.
The god to whom the Romans prayed was Jupiter.
If you find yourself wanting to use quem for a thing — "a caneta com quem escrevo" — that's a signal that you need a different relative. Use com que or com a qual instead. Quem would sound odd, almost as if the pen were being animated.
Quem is invariable
Unlike o qual / a qual / os quais / as quais, which agree in gender and number, quem has a single form. It doesn't inflect for masculine, feminine, singular, or plural — one word covers them all.
O amigo com quem viajei é muito divertido.
The friend I travelled with is very fun. (masculine, singular)
A amiga com quem viajei é muito divertida.
The friend I travelled with is very fun. (feminine, singular — same 'quem')
Os amigos com quem viajei são muito divertidos.
The friends I travelled with are very fun. (masculine, plural — same 'quem')
As amigas com quem viajei são muito divertidas.
The friends (f.) I travelled with are very fun. (feminine, plural — same 'quem')
Notice only the antecedent noun, the articles, and the following adjectives change — quem stays put. This is a small mercy for learners, balanced by the fact that you have to remember when to use quem at all.
Use 1: after prepositions
This is where quem earns its keep. Whenever you have a preposition that governs a person, Portuguese speakers prefer preposition + quem over the more formal preposition + o qual. The short prepositions a, de, com, em, por, para combine most naturally with quem.
O aluno a quem emprestei o dicionário ainda não mo devolveu.
The student I lent the dictionary to still hasn't given it back.
A pessoa de quem estás a falar não é o meu irmão.
The person you're talking about is not my brother.
Os amigos com quem fui ao concerto ontem ficaram em minha casa.
The friends I went to the concert with yesterday stayed at my house.
O colega por quem fiz este favor vai ficar contente.
The colleague I did this favour for is going to be happy.
A pessoa para quem trabalho é muito exigente.
The person I work for is very demanding.
O professor em quem confio é o Dr. Ribeiro.
The professor I trust is Dr. Ribeiro.
English almost always puts the preposition at the end of the relative clause ("the person I'm talking about"). Portuguese does the opposite: the preposition leads the clause, glued to quem as a unit.
Contracted prepositions with quem
The preposition de does not contract with quem — you write de quem, two separate words. Likewise a quem, por quem, em quem, com quem, para quem. Portuguese resists the kinds of fusions you see between prepositions and articles (de + o → do) when the object is quem.
É uma pessoa de quem gosto muito.
She's a person I like very much. (de quem — not 'dequem')
O médico a quem recorri tem muita paciência.
The doctor I turned to has a lot of patience.
Foi ela por quem fiz tudo isto.
It was for her that I did all this.
Use 2: quem as free relative ("whoever / the one who")
Quem also appears with no antecedent at all, acting as its own noun plus relative. In this usage it means the one who, whoever, he who, she who. This is very common in proverbs, generalizations, and formal writing.
Quem não arrisca não petisca.
He who doesn't risk, doesn't get a taste. (Nothing ventured, nothing gained — proverb)
Quem procura, encontra.
Whoever searches, finds. (Seek and you shall find — proverb)
Quem avisa amigo é.
He who warns (you) is a friend. (proverb)
Quem me dera estar de férias!
If only I were on holiday! (literally: 'who to me would give' — a fixed expression)
Quem chegar primeiro ganha um prémio.
Whoever arrives first wins a prize.
In these sentences, quem means the person who — it stands for both a subject noun and a relative pronoun at once. You will encounter it constantly in proverbs, public notices, and instructions ("Quem parar fica, quem andar vai" — signs at train stations, roughly "standers stay, walkers go").
Quem as free relative often takes the subjunctive
Because quem in free-relative usage typically refers to an unspecified, unknown person, the verb that follows frequently goes into the future subjunctive or present subjunctive — depending on whether the action is anchored in time or is a general truth.
Quem tiver tempo, ajude-me.
Whoever has time, help me. (future subjunctive — specific future event)
Quem souber a resposta levante a mão.
Whoever knows the answer, raise your hand.
Quem estudar passará no exame.
Whoever studies will pass the exam. (generalization)
If the person is known or the truth is general and present, the indicative is used:
Quem come em excesso engorda.
Whoever eats to excess gets fat. (general truth — present indicative)
Quem disse isso estava a mentir.
Whoever said that was lying. (past, specific — indicative)
The subjunctive-vs-indicative choice after quem follows the usual logic: hypothetical/unknown/future → subjunctive; factual/past → indicative. This is treated more fully in the subjunctive pages.
Can quem be the subject of a relative clause with an antecedent?
Here is the tricky part. Traditional European Portuguese restricts quem in subject position to either (a) non-restrictive clauses, or (b) free-relative constructions. In a restrictive relative clause with an antecedent, subject-quem sounds archaic or wrong — you use que instead.
❌ O aluno quem falou primeiro tem razão.
Incorrect in modern European Portuguese — use 'que' for a restrictive subject relative.
✅ O aluno que falou primeiro tem razão.
The student who spoke first is right.
In non-restrictive clauses (those with commas), quem is sometimes found in literary or older texts as a subject referring to a person, but even there que is the modern default.
O meu pai, que sempre me apoiou, está orgulhoso.
My father, who always supported me, is proud. (modern — use que)
O meu pai, quem sempre me apoiou, está orgulhoso.
My father, who always supported me, is proud. (possible but literary/old-fashioned)
Keep the rule simple: subject relatives → que. Quem → after prepositions or as free relative.
Quem with cleft sentences: "foi quem..."
Portuguese loves cleft sentences for emphasis, and quem plays a role here. The pattern foi X quem... ("it was X who...") singles out a person as the agent of an action.
Foi a Ana quem fez o bolo.
It was Ana who made the cake.
Foi o meu irmão quem resolveu o problema.
It was my brother who solved the problem.
Foram os miúdos quem deixaram tudo desarrumado.
It was the kids who left everything messy.
Fui eu quem comprou o presente.
It was I who bought the gift.
Note something subtle about agreement: in "Fui eu quem comprou", the verb in the relative clause (comprou) is in the 3rd person singular, not comprei. This is because quem triggers 3rd-person agreement grammatically, even though the logical subject is eu. Some speakers do say "Fui eu quem comprei" by agreement with eu — both are heard, but the 3rd-person version is the textbook norm.
Fui eu quem pagou a conta. (traditional — 3rd sg. after quem)
It was I who paid the bill.
Fui eu que paguei a conta. (alternative with que — 1st sg. natural)
It was I who paid the bill.
Quem vs que after a preposition with a thing
When the antecedent is not a person, quem is off the table. You use que (with short prepositions) or o qual (more formally):
A caneta com que escrevo é nova.
The pen I write with is new. (thing → com que, not com quem)
A casa em que vivo fica no centro.
The house I live in is downtown. (thing → em que, or 'onde')
O filme de que te falei é excelente.
The film I told you about is excellent. (thing → de que)
Mixing quem with a non-human antecedent sounds comical to Portuguese ears — as if you had animated the object.
Quem in questions (different pronoun, same form)
Don't confuse the relative quem with the interrogative quem. They are written identically but serve different functions:
- Interrogative quem — starts a direct or indirect question. "Quem telefonou?" (Who phoned?)
- Relative quem — appears inside a larger sentence, after a preposition or as a free relative.
Quem está à porta? (interrogative)
Who is at the door?
A pessoa a quem abri a porta é a carteira. (relative — inside a statement)
The person I opened the door for is the post-woman.
Summary table
| Use | Quem? | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Subject of restrictive relative (person) | ❌ use que | o homem que veio |
| Object of restrictive relative (person) | ❌ use que | o homem que vi |
| After preposition (person) | ✅ quem | o amigo com quem viajei |
| After preposition (thing) | ❌ use que / o qual | a caneta com que escrevo |
| Free relative ("whoever, the one who") | ✅ quem | Quem não arrisca não petisca |
| Cleft: "it was X who..." | ✅ quem | Foi a Ana quem fez o bolo |
| Non-restrictive with noun antecedent (person) | rare/literary — prefer que | o pai, que me apoiou |
Comparison with English
| English | Portuguese |
|---|---|
| the friend who called | o amigo que telefonou |
| the friend whom I saw | o amigo que vi |
| the friend to whom I spoke | o amigo a quem falei |
| the friend I spoke to | o amigo a quem falei (preposition still needed!) |
| whoever wins | quem ganhar |
| it was Ana who called | foi a Ana quem telefonou |
The asymmetry is stark. English lets you omit the relative ("the friend I saw"), strand the preposition ("the friend I spoke to"), and use who/whom for subjects and objects. Portuguese requires the relative to be present, puts the preposition up front, and reserves quem for the preposition-governed or free-relative cases. Everywhere else, que does the work.
Common mistakes
❌ O homem quem vi no café era o primo da Ana.
Incorrect — for a plain subject/object relative (no preposition), use que.
✅ O homem que vi no café era o primo da Ana.
The man I saw at the café was Ana's cousin.
❌ O amigo que fui ao concerto é muito simpático.
Incorrect — with the preposition 'com' required, use 'com quem'.
✅ O amigo com quem fui ao concerto é muito simpático.
The friend I went to the concert with is very nice.
❌ A pessoa que estou a falar não percebe.
Incorrect — needs 'com quem' because of 'falar com'.
✅ A pessoa com quem estou a falar não percebe.
The person I'm talking to doesn't understand.
❌ A caneta com quem escrevo é boa.
Incorrect — 'caneta' is a thing, not a person. Use 'com que'.
✅ A caneta com que escrevo é boa.
The pen I write with is good.
❌ Quem o quiser pode levá-lo. (missing subjunctive agreement)
Almost right — 'quem' as free relative typically takes future subjunctive: quiser.
✅ Quem quiser pode levá-lo.
Whoever wants (it) can take it.
❌ Falei com a Maria quem me deu o conselho.
A non-restrictive clause with a person — modern EP prefers 'que'.
✅ Falei com a Maria, que me deu o conselho.
I spoke to Maria, who gave me the advice.
Key takeaways
- Quem is a person-only relative pronoun, invariable in form.
- Its two main uses: after prepositions (a/de/com/por/em/para quem) and as a free relative meaning whoever or the one who.
- For a preposition-less restrictive relative (subject or direct object), use que, even with people: o homem que vi, a rapariga que chegou.
- Portuguese never strands prepositions — they appear immediately before quem, not at the end of the clause.
- Free-relative quem often takes the future subjunctive when the action is hypothetical or future: quem tiver tempo, quem quiser vir.
- In cleft sentences ("it was X who..."), quem triggers 3rd-person agreement on the verb in the relative clause: fui eu quem comprou.
- Quem cannot be used for things or abstract concepts — use que, o qual, or onde instead.
Related Topics
- Relative Pronoun Que (The Most Common)A2 — The workhorse relative pronoun of Portuguese — used for people, things, and concepts, as subject or direct object of the relative clause
- Relative Pronoun O Qual / A Qual (Formal with Prepositions)B2 — The variable, formal relative pronoun that agrees in gender and number — used mainly after prepositions and to resolve ambiguity
- Relative Onde (Where)A2 — The relative pronoun used for place — replaces 'em que' or 'no qual' in locative relative clauses
- Interrogative Quem (Who)A1 — Asking about people — quem as subject, object, and after prepositions
- Pronouns After Prepositions (Mim, Ti, Si, Ele, Ela...)A2 — The full paradigm of prepositional pronouns in European Portuguese — mim, ti, si, ele, ela, nós, vós, eles, elas — and how they work after every preposition except 'com'