The Pronominal Verb "Avercela"
To say that you are angry with someone or holding a grudge against them, use the highly frequent pronominal verb avercela.
It combines the verb avere (to have) with the pronouns ci (which becomes ce) and la (which drops its vowel before avere forms starting with h or a vowel). Specify who you are angry with using the preposition con (with).
| Subject | Present Tense |
|---|---|
| io | ce l'ho |
| tu | ce l'hai |
| lui / lei | ce l'ha |
| noi | ce l'abbiamo |
| voi | ce l'avete |
| loro | ce l'hanno |
| to be angry with, to hold a grudge | avercela |
| Are you still angry with me for what happened yesterday? | Ce l'hai ancora con me per quello che è successo ieri? |
Because the core of the phrase is just the verb avere, you can conjugate it into any tense you need. The pronouns ce l' simply remain in front of the verb.
| I wasn't sure that she was angry with me. | Non ero sicuro che lei ce l'avesse con me. |
Drama and Holding Grudges
When interpersonal drama occurs, you might encounter someone who is suscettibile (touchy or easily offended).
| Don't be so touchy, it was just a joke! | Non essere così suscettibile, era solo uno scherzo! |
This sensitivity can lead to rancore (a grudge or resentment). If someone is actively holding onto negative feelings, describe them as risentito (resentful).
| It is useless to hold a grudge; in other words, it's better to forgive. | È inutile provare rancore, ossia è meglio perdonare. |
| You are resentful; in fact, you're still angry with me! | Sei risentito, infatti ce l'hai ancora con me! |
Spite and Retaliation
People holding a grudge often bring up the past. The verb rinfacciare means to reproach someone for old mistakes.
| She always brings up that argument to me. | Lei mi rinfaccia sempre quel litigio. |
They might also act out of ripicca (spite) or commit a dispetto (a petty, spiteful action).
| He only did it out of spite, that is, to take revenge. | L'ha fatto solo per ripicca, cioè per vendicarsi. |
| He hid your book out of spite. | Ha nascosto il tuo libro per dispetto. |
Hostility and Reconciliation
Petty arguments can eventually escalate into serious ostilità (hostility).
| That unnecessary hostility made the situation worse. | Quell'inutile ostilità ha peggiorato la situazione. |
The ultimate goal of resolving social drama is to make up. For this, Italian uses the reflexive verb riconciliarsi.
| After months of silence, they finally decided to reconcile. | Dopo mesi di silenzio, hanno finalmente deciso di riconciliarsi. |