Learn Hardcore Turkish: Annem sinirli görünüyordu; ben nazikçe “sakinleşmek ister misin?” diye sordum. - My mother looked angry; I gently asked, “Would you like to calm down?”

Turkish marks possession on the noun: anne + first-person possessive -m = annem (my mom). The pronoun benim is only used for emphasis/contrast. Benim annem = “my mother (as opposed to someone else’s).”

What’s the nuance of sinirli compared to kızgın or öfkeli?

sinirli: irritable/on edge, annoyed, tense (not necessarily explosive anger).
kızgın: angry/mad.
öfkeli: furious/enraged (strongest). So sinirli is the mildest and most general.

Why is it görünüyordu and not göründü?

-yordu (past progressive) sets background/ongoing state: “was looking/seeming.” göründü is punctual: “appeared/looked (at that moment).” Here we’re describing a scene, so görünüyordu fits. Morphology: görün-üyor-du.

Do I need the subject pronoun ben?

No. Ben is optional because sordum already shows 1st person. Keeping ben adds contrast/emphasis: “I, for my part, asked politely.”

Is the semicolon necessary? Could I use something else?

The semicolon links two closely related independent clauses. A period (.) or a comma plus ve would also be fine: Annem sinirli görünüyordu. Nazikçe … sordum. or …, ve nazikçe … sordum.

Where should nazikçe go, and is kibarca better?

Adverbs of manner typically go before the verb: Ben nazikçe sordum or Nazikçe sordum. kibarca is a very common synonym; both are fine. The nuance is the same.

Why sakinleşmek and not sakin olmak or sakinleştirmek?

sakinleşmek: to calm down (become calm, intransitive).
sakin olmak: to be calm (a state, not the process).
sakinleştirmek: to calm someone/something (transitive, causative). You’re inviting the listener to calm down themselves, so sakinleşmek is natural.

Why use ister misin instead of istiyor musun?

The aorist (ister misin) is standard for polite offers/invitations (“would you like to…”). istiyor musun asks about a current, possibly ongoing desire and can sound more insistent or inquisitive rather than offering.

How does mi work in ister misin? Why the space?

mi/mı/mu/mü is the yes–no question particle. It:

Harmonizes with the preceding vowel (here mi after e).
Takes personal endings: mi + sin → misin.
Stays separate from the verb: ister misin (not one word). Negative variants: sakinleşmek istemez misin? or … istemiyor musun?

What does diye do after the quoted question?

diye introduces reported speech/thought: “saying/asking (that) …”. It links the quote to the verb of saying/asking: … diye sordum = “I asked, ‘…’.”

Could I say … dedim instead of … diye sordum?

Yes. … dedim = “I said ‘…’.” … diye sordum highlights that it was a question. With an actual question in the quote, … diye sordum is very natural; … dedim is also acceptable but less explicit about the act of asking.

Is the question mark inside the quotation correct?

Yes. In Turkish, punctuation that belongs to the quoted material stays inside: “sakinleşmek ister misin?” Then the reporting verb follows: … diye sordum.

Why is annem spelled with double n, and why no extra vowel before -m?

The base word is anne (with double n). The 1sg possessive is -(I)m; after a vowel-final noun, the vowel usually drops and you add -m: anne + m → annem.

Can I say sinirli gibi görünüyordu? Is it different?

Yes. … gibi görünüyordu = “seemed as if …,” which is a bit more tentative/hedged than plain sinirli görünüyordu.

Should it be sakinleşmek or sakinleşmeyi after ister misin?

Both are possible, but the bare infinitive -mek is the default with istemek for actions. -meyi (accusative) can add contrast/emphasis or treat the action as a definite thing, which you don’t need here. So sakinleşmek ister misin is the natural choice.

Is addressing my mother with ister misin polite enough? Any softer options?

It’s fine and friendly with a parent. To soften further:

Biraz sakinleşmek ister misin?
Sakinleşebilir misin? (ability used as polite request)
İstersen biraz sakinleşelim. (inclusive “shall we…?”)
Formal/plural: … ister misiniz?